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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

To be shocked at the sheer amount of hatred and ignorance about transpeople on mumsnet

739 replies

Curiositykilledthecat113 · 04/11/2017 22:22

Specifically transwomen, according to the majority of mumsnet, all transwomen want to rape biological women, “steal their womanhood” and all sorts of other ridiculous, offensive statements without any factual backing.

So why is Mumsnet so intolerant and ignorant towards transgender people?

OP posts:
FlaviaAlbia · 04/11/2017 23:05

I wonder OP, are you the same GF that got a thread deleted earlier? Who according to MNHQ, sock puppeted all over the thread...

PencilsInSpace · 04/11/2017 23:07

McTufty Surely rape can happen absolutely anywhere, most of the world is a penis friendly place so transpeople wanting to do their business in the bathroom of the gender they feel fits them is the least of womens problems?

Yes, you silly women, you're probably going to get raped anyway so stop making a fuss, OK? Hmm

wannabestressfree · 04/11/2017 23:09

As I seem to be a bit grumpy today I will bite....
I don’t agree with everyone on here about everything. I am degree educated but I admit I don’t understand all the lingo and things that are said with regard to trans. I live in quite an up and coming seaside town but I don’t know anyone trans.
I am not keen though on having your feet in both camps with regard to gender. I feel desperately sorry for anyone who is so unhappy they would go through aggressive surgery to rectify the issues. But if your happy keeping everything in tact and unwilling to have counselling and go through the necessary adjustments then I would rather you stay away from my toiletes, changing rooms etc. I have a significant disability and need to feel safe.
Also as a parent I would be horrified if my child was offered drugs without a long period of adjustment as gender is so fluid at the moment. Perhaps more education is needed. My eldest son needed very strong drugs as he was diagnosed pre 18 as schizophrenic and I had to educate myself.
I don’t see hate on here. That’s another word that’s ‘bandied’ about... haters and hate. It’s not real hate...
I also don’t like being instructed to think or feel a sort of way. It’s not something I am comfortable with so I don’t want to embrace it.
They are my thoughts anyway...

HidingBehindTheWallpaper · 04/11/2017 23:11

And that's where the whole concept of feeling like the opposite sex baffles me*

Have you ever spoken to a trans person in real life to find out how they feel?

Did you bother reading the rest of the post where the poster describes how biological women are viewed and treated on a day to day basis?
50% of the population. Not a tiny minority.

JKR123 · 04/11/2017 23:12

So tired of this trans agenda already. Bore off.

sagamartha · 04/11/2017 23:13

Did you bother reading the rest of the post where the poster describes how biological women are viewed and treated on a day to day basis

Yes.

How many trans people have people actually met in real life and actually asked how they feel about themselves and their body?

Ttbb · 04/11/2017 23:16

If you've read any of the threads then you would have realised that the 'hate' isn't directed at transpeople but at men who would supposedly abuse new Tan's rights laws to erode women's privileges and invade women's spaces.

Bucketsandspoons · 04/11/2017 23:16

Quite, Pencils

People may want to look at the article posted in the Guardian this week, and apparently fully supported by them as positive and appropriate, written by a man who enjoys going into shops selling women's lingerie, asking the staff for help while explaining that he's buying it for himself - all fine - but adds to paraphrase that he likes at the till to give the member of staff a smile and a wink to say he knows they're not enjoying this situation but he is.

Ie he gets a thrill from using the situation to compel any random woman behind a shop counter to be a prop in his sexual games. Her unwilling involvement and discomfort while not being able to say no makes it all the hotter for him. What lovely games he'll be able to play next to women and girls in the changing room and the gym and the toilets. Still think there's no problem?

treaclesoda · 04/11/2017 23:18

Have you ever spoken to a trans person in real life to find out how they feel?

I've never met a transperson to ask.

I'd certainly listen to them, I don't hate transpeople, I don't wish any harm on them. But I don't believe that a man's view of what it's like to be a woman corresponds in any way with what it's actually like to be a woman.

BananasAreGood · 04/11/2017 23:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

cathyclown · 04/11/2017 23:21

Someone somewhere has made this issue a biggie.

It affects such a small cohort relative to the publicity and shut downs of anyone questioning it.

I have to admit I am very puzzled by all this transgender stuff, compared with child sexual abuse, neglect and all the rest of things that affect us daily. But there we are.

sagamartha · 04/11/2017 23:21

I've never met a transperson to ask

I shouldn't think many people have met trans people in real life. They gain their views about them based on articles and what they read online.

BertrandRussell · 04/11/2017 23:21

"I agree with you OP, but the anti-trans lobby are so entrenched here it's not worth trying to stand up to the 'received wisdom' of the majority."

What do you mean?

Rufustherenegadereindeer1 · 04/11/2017 23:21

Where are the anti trans lobby banana

DonkeyOaty · 04/11/2017 23:22

Anti trans lobby? No. A bunch of disparate women thinking along similar lines? Yes.

HTH. Smile

DrudgeJedd · 04/11/2017 23:22

I always find these OMG TRANSPHOBIA threads ironic because they always end up with page after page of thoughtful, reasonable posts about women's genuine concerns. Which in turn may get others thinking about how the GRA could affect them (or their children). The OPs usually stop replying once the penny drops.

Sallystyle · 04/11/2017 23:23

What does being 'treated as the gender they choose' involve? Do I have to pretend I'm okay with being examined by a transwoman when I have requested a female HCP? Do I have to lie in a hospital bed next to patients with penises? Does my daughter have to compete against boys in competitive sport?

Yep! Or you are transphobic. Women have to give up their own spaces to please men (trans women are men whatever way you slice it) and suck up our fear and discomfort.

Women, know your place!

I am all for giving people fair (not always equal) treatment. I am all for trans people having rights, but not at the expense of my rights and my comfort.

I am also never going to call it 'chest feeding' or say that men have periods. Both of which I have seen people request others do on FB. In fact, on a certain local MH FB page they were talking about PMT, the severe form that some women suffer from. Someone said their wording was wrong because it excluded trans men. Just no!

I also object to being called a Cis woman. I am a woman, you don't get to change my title.

I don't hate them, but I am scared about where this is all going and what it means for women.

treaclesoda · 04/11/2017 23:25

I shouldn't think many people have met trans people in real life. They gain their views about them based on articles and what they read online.

So men who want to be women actually want to be abused and discriminated against, and belittled etc? In the way that most women are at some stage in their lives? And far too many women are on a daily basis throughout their lives?

If that's the case, how could that desire be anything other than baffling to biological women who would love to not be treated that way?

Bluntness100 · 04/11/2017 23:26

I think you cannot make generalisations, some folks have very extreme views, but most folks read and don’t respond or don’t even read anymore. Why, because you’re attacked if you disagree, so it becomes pointless, you just leave them to it, it’s impossible to discuss.

Don’t assume these threads are reperesentative of mumsnet, they really aren’t, in fact far from it.

sagamartha · 04/11/2017 23:27

So men who want to be women actually want to be abused and discriminated against, and belittled etc? In the way that most women are at some stage in their lives? And far too many women are on a daily basis throughout their live

Your ignorance about transwomen shines in this example. It's not transphobic but it shows that you don't really understand gender dysphoria.

Maybe you should really meet some trans people in real life.

cathyclown · 04/11/2017 23:28

Political Correctness means no one can even ask a fn question about this topic anymore.

Would love to know how many have met or know trans people.

Not me anyway.

Too much publicity will kill it eventually. As most people don't really care, or haven't met anyone Trans. That is the reality.

It is totally off the radar for most people. Get on with it, but don't involve me kind of thing.

BertrandRussell · 04/11/2017 23:30

"Your ignorance about transwomen shines in this example. It's not transphobic but it shows that you don't really understand gender dysphoria."

My understanding is that many trans people say that they do not have gender dysphoria. Gender dysphoria is a treatable psychiatric condition, and the treatment does not usually include transitioning,

sagamartha · 04/11/2017 23:31

My understanding is that many trans people say that they do not have gender dysphoria

Strange that that is the diagnosis for surgery.

Your understanding is wrong.

HidingBehindTheWallpaper · 04/11/2017 23:33

How many trans people have people actually met in real life and actually asked how they feel about themselves and their body?

I’ve met loads of trans people, including a member of my own family who I love dearly.

I’ve also spent my entire life being female.

stitchglitched · 04/11/2017 23:34

About 80% of trans people never undergo any surgery though