Who was bu?

[Neoflex]

Today was at a couples birthing course. Paid privately, 2 days. 12 couples and two single women who then paired up.
Of the 12 couples was a lesbian couple (one pregnant and her partner). The partner complained pretty early on in the course because the midwife referred to the "dads" She requested that only birthing partner be used in the course because she felt excluded.
The midwife explained that the course was a couples course and the dads are the fathers of the children and they should feel more than just birthing partners. That they shouldn't feel excluded either.
The midwife continued to use dads for the whole day.
The lesbian partner spent the whole day huffing and rolling her eyes.
Her pregnant partner looked pretty overwhelmed by the whole experience.
Who was being unreasonable?

Tell me one reason why she wouldn't/couldn't use the same toilets as the other women.

The toilets were both unisex. Any person could have gone to either, except the midwife directed the dads where to go, and the pregnant women where to go.

There was no ‘ladies’ toilet.

Coldilox

Sorry no that reply was to someone else. I can see how confusing that is

Open, ok fair enough. But I'm pretty sure nobody else said that either.

There was no ‘ladies’ toilet

People are just being deliberately awkward now. She absolutely knew she could use the same toilets as the pregnant women. She had to be told???? Nope not having that, utterly ridiculous and attention seeking.

Coldilox - It was in reply to this

Lesbian partner still had a working bladder. Lesbian partner cant use unisex toilets as pregnant ladies cant wait. Cant use the other toilet as all the dads ars in they'd. Lesbian partner is then expected to what? Do a need to pee dance in between both?

The midwife was being very discrimatory and insensitive.

Not every body is concieved with petals on the bed and spooning with the perfect partner whilst the ocean laps against the shore. FFS

Yes it does take a man and women to make a baby, Ben. I was quite sober through my biology lessons, and this couple's baby would have had a father. Through AI I imagine,, but Its still man and women making a baby just not in thd usual sense.

open Nope, that's not how I read it.

She could have used either toilet. They were both unisex. But the point is, the group was told one toilet is reserved for the pregnant women and the other is for the dads. She is neither. Of course she could use either toilet, but the MW deliberately excluded her, as she had been doing all day by referring to the partners as dads.

coldilox I know the post was in reply to my post (not yours obviously).
But I tend to lean on the side of ignoring what is clear goady fuckery.

Awwwlookatmybabyspider really? And here's me thinking the Stork brought them all these years!...

OpenThePickles, sounds like you'd get along fine with the midwife. Bloody attention-seeking lesbians should shut up and accept being excluded.

JonSnow Sorry ignoring now

Not you!

I knew what you meant coldilox no worries.

I'd proffer but don't want you needing the loo.

Midwife was unreasonable. In fact she was rude and disrespectful not just to gay couples but also to single parents too. It wouldn’t really be that hard to say ‘and your partner’ would it? Being a health professional I’d have thought she would have a bit more respect and sympathy towards people who have had to go through so much. I would complain, the midwife would have upset more than one couple in that room with her pathetic and biased views.

I agree with the female in this- whilst I think sometimes we are going too far with a need to be PC, everyone at the course should feel included, and by continually saying dad when two of the couples will not have a male partner to support them it seems that the midwife was being exclusionary- maybe because it was a private course they feel
Like the can use whatever terminology they want, but if that’s the case, don’t accept to sign up same sex or single females. I would have felt excluded, and judged if I was part of either of those two couples.

She absolutely knew she could use the same toilets as the pregnant women

She could use the same toilets as anyone. But she wasn’t included in the instructions, so she asked for clarification. Seems sensible to me.

I (as a gay woman) would have left when she refused my request and continued to use the term Dad. I would have then complained and requested a refund. It’s a massive shame that nobody spoke up for them, thereby giving implied approval to her behaviour. What an unpleasant woman the MW is!

The midwife is a homophobic bigot - I highly suggest you complain.

I agree with Shamo that by keeping quiet there was an implicit acceptance of how the non pregnant mother was being treated.

Today If I were you I would express my annoyance and shick at how she was treated and if it continues when ever she says 'now dads ....' ask 'and what should Sue do' or shout 'don't forget about partners you homophobic dick'.

*shock

The pregnant mum is here alone today. The other mum hasn't come to the course.
Feeling pretty awful about it

You should say something to midwife today. That's really bad the partner hasn't turned up.

That's awful her not coming.
The midwife did need to be pulled up on the toilet issue. People in an instructor role need to be mindful of their language at all times and reflect on whether every person in the group is included. If she doesn't change her language today I think you need to complain because she hasn't listened at all.

We are not partners in some business venture - we are husband and wife
Love this gem, haven't heard it since the 70s

Please offer pregnant mum your support to pass on to her partner, and say you'll be raising a complaint in writing.

She was 100% homophobic.