Who was bu?

[Neoflex]

Today was at a couples birthing course. Paid privately, 2 days. 12 couples and two single women who then paired up.
Of the 12 couples was a lesbian couple (one pregnant and her partner). The partner complained pretty early on in the course because the midwife referred to the "dads" She requested that only birthing partner be used in the course because she felt excluded.
The midwife explained that the course was a couples course and the dads are the fathers of the children and they should feel more than just birthing partners. That they shouldn't feel excluded either.
The midwife continued to use dads for the whole day.
The lesbian partner spent the whole day huffing and rolling her eyes.
Her pregnant partner looked pretty overwhelmed by the whole experience.
Who was being unreasonable?

Don't think it would have hurt the midwife to just use partner instead.

Partner is a perfectly good word. Why couldn’t she have used that?

Love the way the midwife had to explain to these lesbians the right way to do it.

You have to explain to them that the right way to be in a couple is a mum and dad and explain to them they are troublemakers and just wrong, and explain that they might as well stop trying to be like 'normal' parents.

Maybe dads and partners but definitely fathers should be mentioned

Midwife was BU. I wouldn't assume that a couples course was for mum-to-be + dad-to-be. It's for mum-to-be + birthing partner, whether that be lesbian partner/friend/sister/own mother, etc.

To be fair I think the midwife was wrong here.

Maybe dads and partners but definitely fathers should be mentioned

What do you think dads are if not fathers?

I always say birth partners is a group course, so she was being very UR!!
If it was a private one to one course and the partner was quite obviously the dad you can use the word “dad”
I don’t even use the word husband as not every couple is married either! X

Midwife was wrong, and VU. She could have just said 'partners'. That cover everyone! Nobody gets excluded.

Midwife was obviously wrong.

My DH wouldn't have felt excluded by the midwife being decent enough to acknowledge the lesbian couple and the two single women who were there without "dad".

The midwife. Obviously. And I hope the couple complain.

Could have used partner and also been considerate to the woman who didn't have one - i'd be putting a complaint in to the course organiser.

I meant fathers and partners, just the way I phrased it

I hope the lesbian couple complain.

The midwife VVU. Get with The Times, it’s 2017

BabyDreams2018, ‘Partners’ is much less long winded - why not that?

My friend went along with her daughter (single parent) to a birthing course.
Whole thing was skewed towards dads.

Not necessary.

The midwife. She should have said partners. How horrible for the lesbian couple

Midwife was out of order. I hope the couple in question complain about her, so she has to have some training. She needs to have a word with herself, she does a class that won't always involve a mum and dad. I didn't have the father with me. It's not exclusionary to say partner instead of dad. Not in the slightest

I would be outraged if someone was calling my husband my ‘partner’.

We are not partners in some business venture - we are husband and wife.

Just for the sake of the lesbians the dad’s should NOT be made to feel as if they were just any old people who happened to be there to help a woman give birth.

The midwife could have referred to "the other parent" and then there would be no need for any ice-age, woolly mammoth hunting alpha daddies to get their knickers in a knot and feel othered.

Dad’s have a very important role in the family and that should not be forgotten.

Without fathers protecting and providing for their families we wouldn’t have evolved, let alone survived the ice-age.

It was a birthing course! Sole purpose was to support birthing woman in her labour. And also, women in hunter gatherer groups provided around 80% of all the food. As well as birthing the next generation.