To be upset friends didn't invite me out?

[Ilovecoleslaw]

Gone shopping with my two best friends today which has been planned for a while.
Everything was going fine, normal chit chat until friend 1 mentions she went out last night and that she met a guy. Later on I ask about the guy and whether she took him home to which she said 'No, friend 2 was the only one in my bed last night.' And then says whoops and looks at friend 2.
I say thanks for the invite, where friend 2 doesn't mutter a word and friend 1 says 'well you were driving today'.
Now I'm not sure whether I'm being unreasonable in being upset over it. There's never been a time that I know of where one the three of us hasnt been invited out if the others were. They both knew I was free last night but clearly didn't want me to join them, which I feel really upset about.
The day shopping hasn't felt like we've been together at all. When I've wanted to go into any shops, they've gone into separate ones together, which I'd also wanted to go into, and said for me to go into the ones I want on my own.
I've had problems with both of them in the past and this has really got to me. Problems being friend 1 telling my now partner I was raped before I told him. Friend 2 telling me to get over my miscarriage and hers was worse because hers looked like a baby and mine supposedly didn't.
I really don't have a problem with them doing things together without me, they often go for coffees together etc, but it feels strange that we all planned today together but they didn't want to invite me out last night.
Please give me some advice mumnetters :(

Omg you’re the same person, who had the suitcase in the car issues. I looked up that thread to refresh my memory but couldnt see it. One thing I did see when scrolling down is that you posted your best friends didn’t believe you when you were raped. Idk if you’re referring to these women and that is shocking behaviour.

In any case, they really are not your friends. They used you for a lift (again) and then you dropped them off at friends 1 house. Unless there was a specific reason for you not going, that’s not normal behaviour. Well none of it is.

Leave it and don’t give them the drama they’ll be craving.

You’re an age where your friendships are about to get much wider in terms of age etc - so you have a lot more choice and chance to find people you really like. I have always had as many friends as I want (by which I mean i’ve never felt short of friends) except for a short period of time in my early twenties. I think it was partly due to where I was living, partly because i’d Just moved away from lots of friends and partly because my friendships changed and gradually became broader.

You sound lovely OP and tbh from what you have said I would far rather spend time with you that the other 2. Make sure you know your own value - it will be hard to see that if you hang around with these two all the time.

Thank you for all of your advice, I really appreciate it.
I work 5/6 12.5 hour shifts a week so I'm not sure what groups/activities I'll have time for but I'll definitely have a look.
I'm not the op who posted about the suitcase, and these friends did believe me about the rape. I was talking about different, past friends there.
Thanks again everyone

Oh sorry I thought someone said you were upthread. Maybe I misunderstood. I’m glad it isn’t these friends, who disbelieved you. However, you still don’t seem to be attracting very nice people. Until you give yourself the love and respect you deserve, no one else will.

I asked if yiu were suitcase poster, apologies for starting all that :)

OP I hope you manage to distance yourself from these a holes. It isn't you, it's just that they're selfish and you're not. You'll find yourself some lovely kind supportive mates soon once tweedle Dee and tweedle dumb are out of the picture! 💐

Ghost them. Don't give them any more of your time.

agree with everyone telling you they're crap friends. I used to have people say that to me about some of my friends and they were right. Trouble is they were my only friends, so I joined some social groups and stuff. Now have a few friends who can be a bit thoughtless, but they don't shit on me like that. It is unreasonable of them to not ask you as you were their unpaid taxi today, that should have been your call not theirs! I hope you left them where they were. Can we have an update on what you did? Also if they give you grieve, show them the post so they can see how everyone agrees they are unreasonable!

I fairly regularly see friends on Facebook out in town when I haven’t been invited. Our children are at school together too.
The other night they all went trick or treating with their kids and didn’t invite my daughter. They’re pretty much my only friends in the town I live in too.
It sucks.
Ditch them though.

You need to drop them. No one needs frenemies like those two!

You will find new friends but until then, you’ll be better off alone or with your partner.

It is hard, but protect yourself. Leave these 2. They are not friends.

I had a similar situation many moons ago sitting through dinner for 3 where I was clearly the focus of their bitchy gossip. I stayed as we were all staying at friend 1s flat and I had nowhere else to go. But with hindsight I should have got up, left money for the bill, left them to it and caught a train home.
I did, however, sever all ties the following day.

Detach yourself from these but don't make a big deal, don't give them the satisfaction of any drama.

i would have let them walk or make their own way home. two very selfish friends !

Seriously! You are better out of it. Keep your distance!

These people aren’t friends. It might be hard now but you won’t regret ditching them

You've got years of great friends ahead of you. If it's hard to fit in socialising or volunteering on a regular basis, then maybe consider doing a week or more of volunteering/charity work. You could go off and climb a mountain with a team etc, you don't always have to raise money, often you can pay fully to do these. I know people who've made great friends on these trips, not necessarily local friends but it's really built their confidence.

Ditch these two though, they're using you as a taxi service. Did they even get you a donut?

they really arnt friends thyre using you for lifts/saving money

your 21 u dont need this immature shit

Widen your circle of friends and meet people you normally wouldn't come across. Try meetup.com. You can do everything from seeing live comedy to learning French, going for meals with other singles and doing short breaks abroad. It's free to join and lots of the events are free too. I met some great people and even ended up forming my own meetup group!

These two are giving you the illusion you have friends and are taking up time you could be using for making real ones.

I can see how hard you work but think you need to spend some time planning your social life - by volunteering or going along to a group that has an interest you share.

You deserve so much better than those two are offering!

Cut your ties with them, they sound like poison!

Neither of these ladies are your friends. Who the fuck tells someone their miscarriage was worse than their friend's? And telling your bf about your rape? Wtaf?!?! Ditch them and find some real friends x

Well friend 2 messaged and asked what was up yesterday. Told her how I felt, ended up with her saying I excluded myself and I'm being ridiculous, how I was on my phone the whole day and I was giving one word answers to everything. Definitely wasn't on my phone all day and there was a couple of one word answers yes.
Now I just feel like it's all my fault and I'm massively over reacting :(

Well did you ask about the night befoee