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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be upset friends didn't invite me out?

182 replies

Ilovecoleslaw · 04/11/2017 17:41

Gone shopping with my two best friends today which has been planned for a while.
Everything was going fine, normal chit chat until friend 1 mentions she went out last night and that she met a guy. Later on I ask about the guy and whether she took him home to which she said 'No, friend 2 was the only one in my bed last night.' And then says whoops and looks at friend 2.
I say thanks for the invite, where friend 2 doesn't mutter a word and friend 1 says 'well you were driving today'.
Now I'm not sure whether I'm being unreasonable in being upset over it. There's never been a time that I know of where one the three of us hasnt been invited out if the others were. They both knew I was free last night but clearly didn't want me to join them, which I feel really upset about.
The day shopping hasn't felt like we've been together at all. When I've wanted to go into any shops, they've gone into separate ones together, which I'd also wanted to go into, and said for me to go into the ones I want on my own.
I've had problems with both of them in the past and this has really got to me. Problems being friend 1 telling my now partner I was raped before I told him. Friend 2 telling me to get over my miscarriage and hers was worse because hers looked like a baby and mine supposedly didn't.
I really don't have a problem with them doing things together without me, they often go for coffees together etc, but it feels strange that we all planned today together but they didn't want to invite me out last night.
Please give me some advice mumnetters :(

OP posts:
Mummyoflittledragon · 04/11/2017 18:01

Seriously you need new friends love. Move on. You’ll find people, who love and care for you. The things they’ve said are pretty unforgivable.

missmoz · 04/11/2017 18:04

Please drive off.

If they have a go at you just say, "Oh sorry, I got the impression you wanted to be alone."

gamerchick · 04/11/2017 18:04

They used you for driving today. They aren’t your friends.

I hope you ditched them and went home.

witchofzog · 04/11/2017 18:05

They make you feel like shit and they have been treating you like shit. Please distance yourself from these toxic women.

If you have children try the meet a mum section on netmums (and on here if mumsnet has similar) I made friends from the meet a mum section on netmums when I moved to a new area. They did not become lifetime friends but they helped me to realise there were other normal lovely women who also had no friends through no fault of their own.

If you don't have children then maybe try a meet up group. There are loads in most areas if you look online.

You are better off with no friends in the meantime than these women. They have both done un forgivable things and are not being nice now either. I am sorry you have to go through this because it feels utterly shit to be the one left out

EliseC1965 · 04/11/2017 18:05

Go home. Now. They’re not friends.

missmoz · 04/11/2017 18:05

If they are good friends they would have apologised when you brought it up with them. The fact they didn't and behaved like this all day, excluding
you, is really childish and it letting you know you're not as important to them. Please don't put up with it.

GetYourRocksOff · 04/11/2017 18:06

Drive home, cut contact.

onalongsabbatical · 04/11/2017 18:06

Telling your boyfriend about your rape and saying your miscarriage wasn't as bad as hers??? That's awful!
This^^
Run - now!

JoBlogs · 04/11/2017 18:06

Wow, they are using you as a taxi service today! Have some pride and move away and find new friends. They are using you.

AppleKatie · 04/11/2017 18:07

Yep drive home OP they aren't your friends, you don't need them.

diddl · 04/11/2017 18:07

Oh they sound so way beyond awfulSad

Hope that you left them.

Mascarawandlady · 04/11/2017 18:08

You deserve much better op. Flowers

Ellie56 · 04/11/2017 18:08

Why aren't you having food with them? They aren't really your friends. They only invited you today to taxi them about.

And yes, from the comment she let slip about being in bed together, I suspect there's a bit more to their relationship than they are letting on.

You need to find some new friends OP.

witchofzog · 04/11/2017 18:08

Yea I would second going home. You are basically being treated like a taxi driver. Real friends would want you with them, even if you were not eating yourself.

wtfisgoingon · 04/11/2017 18:10

Leave now on your own with your head held high with a smile on your face. They think nothing of ditching you.
You'll thank yourself x

aaaaargghhhhelpme · 04/11/2017 18:11

So they want you to drive them for four hours today. For free I assume

But you're not allowed in the same shops as them. Even if you want to go in there. And you're not allowed to get food with them

That's aside from the truly horrific stuff they have said and done. Seriously. They're fuckwits of the highest order.

You don't deserve this. You sound lovely. Drive home now. Forget about them. They're using you.

Don't cling onto them as you think they're you're only friends. No friends are better than these. And once you're free of them you'll meet other people who treat you with respect.

Breadwithgarlicon · 04/11/2017 18:11

Wow! They don't sound nice to you at all. They're actively excluding you even as you write! I hope you drove off but if you waited, I hope they turned up with a little present for you, to thank you for waiting and driving them. If not, stop being available for them.

Starlight2345 · 04/11/2017 18:15

Sounds like today is a wake up call for you .you should of dumped them a long time ago . Do something to find friends who respect you . It’s not just last night , today and the past

maddiemookins16mum · 04/11/2017 18:17

They also sound incredibly immature (as well as pretty vile).

f83mx · 04/11/2017 18:25

I would text and say you want to leave in 5 minutes and will be going. These aren't friends, sounds totally toxic.

bufin · 04/11/2017 18:27

I presume you're driving them home OP, I hope they're paying for the petrol. A couple of hours each way, that's a lot of driving, do they both sit in the back like a taxi?

Whocansay · 04/11/2017 18:30

I hope you just left. Really, these people are not you're friends. And they are enjoying bullying you.

ElephantsandTigers · 04/11/2017 18:32

I know it's horrible when you feel like you don't have many friends but these women are not friends. Once you stop wasting your time with these people you'll have time to get out and meet new potential mates.

Drive home now. Leave them there. Easiest way to get your point across.

FilledSoda · 04/11/2017 18:34

They are getting food and you are waiting on them ?
If you were driving them they should have treated you to food , and petrol contribution goes without saying.
They sound awful

Betsy86 · 04/11/2017 18:34

Sorry to sound stereotypical and i know just because sghe does drigs doesnt mean will steal but you sure when they go off to other shops there not shoplifting so leave you behind in other shops so you dont notice and blow there cover.... and now your waiting to drive them home with the goods.

Either way they are not your friends please please ditch them xx

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