To want to know the stupidest thing you've done?

[Babababababybel23]

Just finished the ironing, went to turn the iron off and knocked into the board. Instead of letting the iron fall to the ground like any normal person I tried to bloody catch it with the plate coming straight for my hand.
Now I'm a bit frazzled and in a bad mood because of my stupidity.

Are you still on the wine Cinderella?

I must have loads. The one that springs to mind is wondering what would happen if I ironed the carpet. A burnt triangle and lost deposit. That is what happens

Done exactly the same thing with hair straighters, more than once! You didn't actually burn yourself hopefully? It's natural reflex, can't be helped! Have a cup of tea (huge glass of wine) and don't beat yourself up about it.

As a youngster drove an unregistered car and thought it would be ok to make licence plates out of cardboard. It rained

Not bought a house when they were affordable. I am a twat.

I regularly have moments of idiocy.
Such as standing at my front door, pushing the button on my car key expecting the door to open.

Yep burnt my whole hand
I had that one second pause you get where your in shock and then screamed bloody murder. I will comfort myself with ice cream and hold the tub with my burnt hand

Straighten my ear instead of my hair and sent a text complaining about my boss.......................to my boss

On a totally boring note OP, make sure you run your hand under cool water for 20 mins. I'm the catching hot objects/battling with oven shelves pro

Microwaved a remote control after spilling a glass of wine on it.

Oh yes! I texted my stepDad a photo of my new knickers.

I broke up a full on dog fight with my bare hands. I also pulled a large breed dog in a fit of rage syndrome off the kennel staff it went for and wrestled it into a kennel.
Amazingly, I did not get bitten, although there were some white and shaky looking bystanders.

@Undercoverbanana

I would never have spoken to him again
Or went back to work
@Pollydonia

I was having an argument with dh once and we were texting each other. It got a bit heated with lots if swearing. Sent a really long text nd suddenly realised I had sent it to my manager. I was swearing like a trooper. Thankfully she was going on maternity leave that week as I could never of faced her otherwise. She never replied

I also used a newly washed, still damp oven glove to take something out of the oven and steamed my hand. I've got those funky silicon gloves now

Oh they are all coming back to me now! I jumped out of a tree to scare a boy down my street but landed on top of him and broke his arm. My Mum was raging. I had to apologise to his whole family.

Watched my now DH sell his house to use the equity to pay off debts ran up by his ex, in a very sought after area on the South coast. The value of the house is now above and beyond what we sold it for.

We now rent.

We don’t talk about the sale of the house.

Tested how hot the iron was with my finger. Damn hot!
Tried to light a ciggie by putting foil paper on the bar of the electric fire. Sparks!!
Breaking up a dog fight with my bare hands. Ouch...
Bought crappy oven gloves that had a thick side and a thin side. Used them the wrong way round. Didn't chuck them immediately, saw my son do the same thing. Then I threw them out...

I'll leave it there. There is so much more....

There’s many:
Stabbed my hand separating frozen meat and needed an op to stitch the tendon together!
Got a fright straightening my hair while sitting on the floor, jumped up, stood on straighteners and had to wear flip flops in December (in Scotland) for 2weeks!
Ran full pelt down a hill towards a kids play park and straight into a bar of the climbing from hitting it square on with my forehead-knocked out!
I’m a clumsy arse!

Oh - here's another. I went to post a letter (back in the day) and dropped my house keys into the letterbox instead of the letter. Had to wait for the postman to collect the post before I could go home. Yep - it rained. Yep - DCs were small. Yep - it made me late for work.

Almost chopped my thumb off while cutting a harmless orange in half. I dreaded going to the hospital and telling them how it happened

At 17, agreed to go on a date with a man who was 38.

No good came of this.

I once ironed a cardigan and hurriedly put it on because I was freezing. I noticed I'd forgotten to do the sleeves, picked up the iron and went to iron the sleeve whilst I still had it on. I still have a scar and it was very sore. I was 6 months pregnant with dd2 at the time so I blame my brain being mush.

At a friends house when we were really young thought it'd be a great idea to paint her face ... using nail varnish. Her mum came upstairs to her whole face as a butterfly, cue a very angry phonecall to my DM to come collect me. Poor girl came to school with a bright red sore face the rest of the week, I was mortified

Last week I lost my temper at work after a twat man at work swore at me and insulted me and then lied about saying it.

This week ( after putting in a complaint about him) I was sacked!

Ah the joys of working at a place over run with bastard Freemasons!

Was secretly shaving my legs in my bedroom at about 13, put the razor on the floor and then accidentally trod on it, barefoot.
I told my mum the reason it wouldn’t stop bleeding was because I had trod on some scissors.