To want to know the stupidest thing you've done?

[Babababababybel23]

Just finished the ironing, went to turn the iron off and knocked into the board. Instead of letting the iron fall to the ground like any normal person I tried to bloody catch it with the plate coming straight for my hand.
Now I'm a bit frazzled and in a bad mood because of my stupidity.

I was a hungry teen and frying some burgers for a quick, no effort tea. I'd put too much oil in the frying pan, let it get too hot and threw the burgers in whilst still frozen. The oil caught fire and made a huge flame that touched the ceiling and I ran away, screaming. To the closed end of the kitchen. My step-dad came in, turned the gas off and the fire went away. He told me off! I'm a bit better at cooking now but still hate using the frying pan.

Cutting my finger making dinner, putting plaster on to stop the bleeding Then taking a hot oven tray out with a tea towel as I was too lazy to get oven gloves out - tea towel didn't cover the finger with a plaster, so it melted onto my finger. Doh.

Spent aaaaages making a really fancy professional chef style stock, went to pour it through a sieve to refine it, and watched the whole lot drain away because I had forgotten to put a bastard saucepan underneath the sieve.

Dropped the hair drier and it broke, leaving the bare electrical wire on the floor. I switched off the hair drier part (that obviously wasn't working with no connection to the mains). I then picked up the bare electrical wire and electrocuted myself, leaving scorch marks across my hand.

DH says I can use his.

He has a convertible car and we live in a house at the top of a slight slope (and with a large garden).

One night he forgot to put the roof up and realised the next morning it was slightly raining. So went out in just his dressing gown. Car has to be in reverse to lock and he just left it in reverse as he leaned in to put the roof up.

Car sets off down hill, knocking him over (cuts and bruises to knee and leg). He then chases after car which goes into some trees with very bashed in door.

He was able to buy spare parts and get it mended but does agree it was all pretty stupid

As a teenager, being told I would not be allowed to swim in the school pool because I had a verruca. I decided to remove it with a razor blade. I took a massive slice out of my heel and spent a couple of weeks bandaged up. It makes my flesh crawl to think of doing it now. It got rid of it though. Result.

Many years ago when drunk I forgot I'd taken my shoes off, I tried putting a cigarette out by grinding it into the floor with my foot.

I regularly try and open my front door with my work badge.

The other day I managed to slam a window shut on my pinky finger, I still don't know how I managed that one!

Jeez, how long have you got?!

Cut a bread roll while holding it in my hand - cut straight through and cut my hand.
Regularly try to use my car key to open my work locker/work pass to try to open my front door etc.
Have used Mr Sheen instead of hairspray on more than one occasion...

Jabbing the laptop (over 5 years old) or PC (over 10 years old) screen with my finger and getting frustrated when nothing happens.

Making a mug of tea and forgetting to put the teabag in.

Not understanding the two kids with ice creams "I dropped yours" joke until DH explained it to me.

Trying to operate the television with the cordless phone.

Once getting off a train, and absent-mindedly tearing my ticket into tiny pieces while using the station loo (why oh why oh why?). Confronted with inspector on way out and duly landed with £10 fine for non-payment.

Just a few to be getting on with.

Opened a bottle of champagne by my teeth (survived !)

Dancing to Liberty X’s ‘Just a Little Bit’ and trying to be sexy with a broom. Flipped my hair back then head-butted the broom. Knocked out. Sexy...

Couple of things spring to mind.

One was taking a Pyrex dish out of a hot oven with oven gloves, inspecting the dish and then picking it up with my bare hands to put it back in the oven!

Another one, and this is probably the dumbest thing I’ve ever done. Used to live in a house with really high ceilings and the bedroom light bulb went so me being lazy, grabbed the dressing table stool and balanced it on the bed to stand on it and take the bulb out. Pulled the bulb and the light fitting clean off the ceiling, stool toppled over and I bounced off the wall and then onto the floor breaking my wrist in the process.

Some of these are actually making me feel sick, especially the butternut squash peeling finger one!

@oldlaundbooth
I agree, a lot of these stupid moments involve horrible injuries

I once walked right into the lit up board of a bus stop once. Didn't see it at all and it was dark.

Decided to take a small sniff the chloroform used in my research project to see what it smelled like, after reading many dramatic descriptions in Agatha Christie style mystery novels. It smells like instant unconsciousness. (Fortunately I did not breathe enough to actually pass out and I had put the bottle down first, as fainting and then smashing the full bottle on the floor next to me would probably smell like death).

There was some stuff stuck to the inside of the mixed bowl. So I put a wooden spoon down that chimney thing. The spoon got caught in the vicious whiring blade thing, the mixing bowl exploded and shards of plastic and wooden spoon literally exploded across the kitchen. I'm still not entirely certain how I didn't lose an eye.

Christmas Eve a few years back Son comes in and asks did I know the outside drain had blocked? No, of course I bloody didn't! Race into B&Q getting there just before closing and buy a bottle of drain opener. Go home and tip in entire bottle. Nothing happened. OK. So went into work and 'borrowed' a bottle of industrial drain opener, raced home in something of a panic.. didn't even go in house but tore into garden and tipped the new bottle down drain.

Totally ignoring the 'Never mix chemicals' warning in huge red letters.

There was a massive explosion, I was covered in acid, my trousers melted, my trainers melted and my leg was burned. It also splashed in my face. Ran into house and stuck entire head in washing up water (used, but not tipped away as drain was blocked..sigh..) Very lucky to escape with zero damage to face or eyes. The burn on my leg took two months to heal.

However.. the explosion did clear the drain :)

When I worked at a busy pizza place, I was standing at the end of the massive industrial oven (one where they put the pizzas in one end and they come out done, and extremely hot, on the other end, a couple metres away), not even working on pizzas. One of the circular metal trays they place the pizzas on when they go through the oven came out the other end without a pizza on it. For some reason, rather than let it fall to the floor, I VERY stupidly reached out to catch it. It was probably nearly 500*F.

I've got millions of others, as I'm genuinely the clumsiest person I know, but absolutely nothing else comes to mind at the moment!

@bestzeibbie
Curiosity could of killed the cat

Thought I could break up a scrap between 2 horses. Stepped in front of one to protect it as the other one spun to kick. Ended up getting booted by both as the one I was trying to 'protect' returned back feet to her mate. Wouldn't care but I've been around horses 30+ years and as I'm not the bionic woman should really have known not to get involved and let them sort it out. Idiot.
Put the chicken in the fridge and the 4 pints of milk in the oven even rearranged the fucking shelf to make it fit and then switched the oven on. Wasn't much fun cleaning that up.

Mine's nothing harmful, but I was leaving work the other day and I put my bag in the drivers seat and sat in the passengers seat. Put my seatbelt on and sat there for a full minute wondering why the car isn't moving before I clocked on

I thought it would be a good idea to cook some pasta after I got home from all day drinking (many years ago btw)

Managed to light the gas............all going well..........the tripped on my stupidly high heals and my arm went into the lit hob.

Serious burn, dressing changed every day - didn't really feel it at the time but the next day was agony!!

Still have the scar!!

I should have got a kebab on the way home instead