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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect payment for ticket .............

789 replies

Guardsman18 · 03/11/2017 13:08

Help needed please!
Was very close to friend for years. She's rubbish with money but was good at spending mine! We don't see each other so much, but still chat and I went to her birthday bash a few weeks ago.

It took me a while, but the penny finally dropped and I no longer 'lend' her money. (Think 'loan' for £1000 seven years ago and have only had £200 ish back).

There is a band that we have always wanted to see - I know I sound about 10!), so we agreed that I would get the tickets on my card and she would reimburse me after Glastonbury - very expensive!

Here's the thing - tomorrow is the day we go and I think (know?) that she won't have the money.

WIBU to just not go with her? Am meant to be picking her up at 12 pm.

OP posts:
LIZS · 04/11/2017 11:21

So she pisstakes over timekeeping too? What were you expecting to do at hers for 2 hours? Just say you'll meet in time for the 2pm train.

jammydodgersss · 04/11/2017 11:22

I used to have a CF sponging friend OP. I stupidly put up with it for years. Binned her off in the end, best thing I ever did. She's using you

Original poster
Guardsman18 · 04/11/2017 11:24

Happy (!) I have to disagree. I have taken what people have said on board. Had you read the whole thread, you would have seen that

OP posts:
Happyemoji · 04/11/2017 11:38

I have read the whole thread but what you say and what you do is completely two different things. I think you'll cave in when you see her. I would have cancelled on her last night or this morning telling her I'm not going. Then I will go with out her.

She is not giving you back the money and you're going to leave her to sponge more money of her daughter. That is to messy for me I would rather cancel and not go with her. Maybe deep down you don't want to go alone and you will cave in rather than have it out with her.

CatsCatsCats11 · 04/11/2017 11:41

My guess is your Probably going alone or she will be a CF and have no money but go anyway. Enjoy your concert OP.

DamsonGin · 04/11/2017 11:43

On the basis of this thread, I have resolved to go to the cinema on my own midweek while the dc are at school to as a film I want to see, rather than eternally waiting for friends to commit. It really is fine to do these things alone, so I will.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 04/11/2017 11:43

I think she probably won't let on she has no money until you are face to face which will put you in a very difficult position

There's no "think" about it; unless she's really got the cash - which is vanishingly unlikely - this is precisely what she's already doing Hmm

Anyone decent would have assured OP about this already, just as they'd have sorted out repaying the £800. But knowing they've got away with it before the chancer will see no reason to change now and will certainly twist and turn, pressure OP and probably be unpleasant if denied

I really feel for Guardsman as it's not easy to take on folk like this, but I hope that when it comes to it she'll find the strength to make a stand

NancyDonahue · 04/11/2017 11:43

She sounds like my idea of a nightmare friend. I like to have money, travel times etc sorted weeks before any trips! I can't bear to be left hanging by anyone. Which is probably why I do a lot of stuff alone. I really want you to have a lovely time, op!

afrikat · 04/11/2017 11:46

damson I do that regularly! I love going to the movies alone. Went to see Thor last week it was brilliant

Justbookedasummmerholiday · 04/11/2017 11:47

Have you left yet op?

Original poster
Guardsman18 · 04/11/2017 11:49

Not yet. As 'we're' leaving later I'm going to have a hair cut in 10 mins!

OP posts:
PelvicFloorClenchReminder · 04/11/2017 11:50

I'm perched precariously right on the edge of my seat waiting for the midday deadline..!

JonSnowsWhore · 04/11/2017 11:55

Have you messaged her to ask if she has the money today? Oh I couldn’t stand the suspense. I can’t stand it now & im not even involved

expatinscotland · 04/11/2017 11:56

People can only mug you off if you let them. And such people aren't friends, they are just CFs.

overduemamma · 04/11/2017 11:57

So are you leaving at 2pm rather than -2? X

sweetsomethings · 04/11/2017 11:57

Oh the suspense is killing me

overduemamma · 04/11/2017 11:57

Rather than 12*

Maudlinmaud · 04/11/2017 11:57

What a saga op. She seems to be the one in control not you. Whatever happens I hope you have a nice time.

LagunaBubbles · 04/11/2017 11:58

You could always try Judge Rinder to get your £800 back?

expatinscotland · 04/11/2017 12:03

If she didn't sign an agreement and/or the OP doesn't have written evidence that it was a loan (and somehow, I doubt such a mug has written evidence), then there's no way to prove the money was a loan and the CF will claim it's a gift. The CF is definitely in control - the OP has done nothing but capitulate to her demands because she still see her as a friend, not what she is, a sponge.

streetlife70s · 04/11/2017 12:03

Ok it’s 12. Now I know you’re having a haircut but keeping us updated needs to take priority obviously.Wink So has CF friend met the deadline?

streetlife70s · 04/11/2017 12:06

And I’m with the others who say, whether or not she has ticket money, she won’t have the money for hotel, travel, food and drinks. She will just expect you to lend (read give) it to her once you are there.

PoorYorick · 04/11/2017 12:07

Good luck....

LagunaBubbles · 04/11/2017 12:09

Expat that's probably true eh.

Idontevencareanymore · 04/11/2017 12:10

Op, I think you know she's either going to expect you to foot the bill or you're going solo.
Me, I'd flap my wings and go alone. Concerts are quite a solitary event anyway, the "me time" is priceless and your friend isn't that great a friend.

Enjoy the concert