To not understand this etiquette 'rule'

[Cheeseontoastie]

I was coming into my children's school a few days ago, I have a pram and another lady with a pram moved hers over slightly as I was coming through (talking like an inch) anyway as I passed she rudely huffed "ugh your welcome!" I was abit taken aback. Now since then (and when ever I do it before anyway) no one ever "thanks" me. I've just moved out the way for a woman and a man and two kids and didn't get any acknowledgement. I also always move my pram out for another one to fit in and it's very rare anyone says thanks they usually just roll it in. I don't expect a thanks but also don't understand why some people get angry/rude about it. So what are the 'rules'?

It's not a question of an etiquette 'rule' - it's just nice to be pleasant and acknowledge a minor instance of everyday consideration.

Not everyone is considerate. A lot of people seem to think that it is everybody else's job to get out of their way so they can march through life never altering course at all, never subjecting themselves to even the most minor inconvenience. So when someone does move over/hold a door/wait to let you pull out of a junction, it's good to acknowledge/thank them, even if you just do it with a smile and a nod.

It's fairly obvious when someone has moved for you - it's not hard to distinguish a deliberate adjustment from the normal flow of people moving around one another. And it costs nothing to make an acknowledgment of some sort.

I've been known to mutter 'you're welcome' when I've very obviously moved for someone or held a door or slowed down to let them out of a junction and they just sail on by without even making eye contact.

The world is full of minor annoyances - it's nice to do something tiny to tip the balance the other way.

Of course if someone does something to help you you say thank you or at least make eye contact and smile.

I can’t believe you have such trouble with basic manners tbh!

But you have to act in a way that you are happy with, i.e thanking people who are courteous. You shouldn't lower yourself because others do.

Smug is how I would describe people who say 'you're welcome'. It's like saying that no matter what was going on in their lives they would never get distracted and forget their manners. Why try to make someone feel bad when you know nothing about what is going on in their lives. Maybe someone is severely depressed. Maybe they've just had a call from the hospital to say their mum has died. Who knows? But let's not let people stop getting their 2 seconds self satisfaction of shouting 'you're welcome' at someone who has forgotten or doesn't understand the social norm. I'm always secretly hoping the offender will tell the pa smug person to fuck off and show them what real bad manners look like but obviously that's just me!

In short your gripe is, because no one has said thank you to you, why should you say thanks to anyone else? This is the crux of your thread? Are you 5yrs old?

"Be as you wish to seem."
Socrates.

Personally I think anyone who says "ugh you're welcome" clearly has the least amount of manners in this scenario.

CakesRUs

I’d say thank you, it’s such an English thing to do, thank and apologise to everyone for everything, I still do it though.

Actually, it’s a very British thing to do...

No I'm more trying to establish if "thanks" is needed when you pass people on the street who simply step aside to avoid bumping into you.

Yes

Ok well walking down my local high street see loads of people falling over themselves saying thanks to everyone they pass...

I would at least smile and make eye contact in that situation. To not acknowledge at all is rude.

I was waling on the street on my own this morning. I stopped to let a woman with a buggy pass, I didn't even move, just stopped, she smiled and said thank you and I smiled back.

Later I was out with the dogs and a woman with a child let us pass through so I said thank you.

Two interactions between strangers, perfectly polite, no angst on either side. It makes life easier.

There are many rude, arrogant people and there are some that seem very socially inept and shy and will avoid any interrelation even if they seem rude. But there are many polite people.Like the two teenage cyclists who thanked me this morning when I stood to the side of the path, holding my dog by the collar, this morning Which group do you want to be associated with OP? Simple as that really.

interaction not interrelation.

Where I live, not many people say thank you if I move out of the way or hold doors open for them.
Doesn't stop me from using my manners though.
I can't believe you are even asking the question.

I think you are way too focused on the "Thanks" and not enough on the fact you didn't acknowledge her. If you'd smiled or anything, said "It's a bit tight," anything, that would have been ok. Thank you is just the easiest way to acknowledge someone who you have interacted with.

To just blank people is rude and possibly your body language is why you never receive thanks either.

I don't think you get how many people were there. It wasn't just me and her. It's a school playground. How can I smile at and acknowledge everyone??

Pretty easily. Doesn’t take much effort surely?

"To just blank people is rude and possibly your body language is why you never receive thanks either."

^^ so it's ok to ignore someone if you feel their body language doesn't deserve it? As someone pointed out you don't know what any one else is going through. Also no one does it to anyone at my kids school not just me and the woman. I pass the narrow path and no one says thanks! Seems as soon as you have a pram the rules change

Smile and acknowledge 700 parents in the playground? lol ok then this site is like a parallel universe sometimes.

Every single parent is walking the opposite direction to you and has to move?

Ok well most of them are watching there kids as am I!

Ah no, I get what you mean. I say 'thank you' to every little thing, but round at the school where there's loads of prams, you just get on with it. It's just part of negotiating your way around with something that can take up a lot of space.
Walking along, I move the pushchair all the time as par for the course, being mindful of others. If every single person stopped me and expressed gratitude for having moved an inch or so, or for not having ploughed them down, it would take me ages to get anywhere.
Sounds like this woman thought she was owed thanks for just being a normal considerate person.

I find it amusing when people just come here to argue that they were not BU.

No Sirzy every one of the 700 parents were in the op's way and moved. What is so hard to believe??