To not understand this etiquette 'rule'

[Cheeseontoastie]

I was coming into my children's school a few days ago, I have a pram and another lady with a pram moved hers over slightly as I was coming through (talking like an inch) anyway as I passed she rudely huffed "ugh your welcome!" I was abit taken aback. Now since then (and when ever I do it before anyway) no one ever "thanks" me. I've just moved out the way for a woman and a man and two kids and didn't get any acknowledgement. I also always move my pram out for another one to fit in and it's very rare anyone says thanks they usually just roll it in. I don't expect a thanks but also don't understand why some people get angry/rude about it. So what are the 'rules'?

@jonssnowswife

You do not have to thank the driver for stopping at a zebra crossings. They are doing what the law requires of them, letting a pedestrian who has already began to cross finish crossing.

I know you don't have to THANK drivers when they stop at zebra crossing, but it's just common courtesy isn't it?

I thank people for holding doors open. Keeping the lift open. Stopping their car for me at a crossing. Hey I even thanked the woman who picked up the 5p that I dropped out of my pocket today (that I didn't even want) because I was holding my baby. I thank people that go out of their way, inching over a tiny step so someone can pass doesn't require a thank you.

@cheeseontoastie how come you are suddenly giving all these examples of how often you thank people, when you said in your first post that you never thank anyone because no-one ever thanks YOU?

Which is it? Do you thank people or do you not?

Make your chuffin' mind up lass!

@jonsnowswife

OP, you were the one that said she moved for you so how could she still be in your way? You are also arguing the toss with anyone who tries to explain politely and nicely to you that it sounds like you were BOTH in the wrong.

Just because someone else doesn't do something doesn't give you a free pass to be equally rude and or entitled.

This. ^ You were rude, cheeseontoastie

I didn't even notice when someone let me pass once, was totally daydreaming (would have fallen into a hole if there'd been one!) Only realized I hadn't said thank you when I got a similar response to the one Op got. Genuinely did not mean to be rude.

Another time I did say thank you and the man did not hear me and muttered something rudely about not saying thank you and I retorted by saying "I did. You didn't hear me!"

Just because no-one has thanked you recently, is no reason to throw your own manners out the window! If everyone did that, no-one would ever say thank you to anyone else ever again.

If you think manners are important (as I do), then say thank you regardless. Maybe you'll encourage others to have manners too.

YABU. You should have said thank you. The fact that people don't always thank you is beside the point.

For moving out the way!! That's what my post is about moving out the way so it's clear I'm talking about thanking people for moving out if the way. Pretty simple to grasp really. Anyway i might try it today on the school run "thank you, thank you thank you thank you" gosh I wouldn't stop saying it if i said it to everyone who slightly stepped aside. I would be the only one doing it that's for sure.

I'd have done the same as her tbh op. I hate bad manners. If someone does something for you, no matter how small and seemingly insignificant, it's polite to say thank you. Thankfully most people I encounter are the same. However what really annoys me is when my ds holds a door open for someone and they just walk on through without any kind of acknowledgement. How are we supposed to raise polite, well mannered children if they have such terrible adult role models?! In those situations I'm afraid I do say something, loudly. Ds needs to know that adults behave badly sometimes and that it's not ok and the expectations are no different simply because they're bigger and older.

Pretty simple to grasp really

Well yes it is, for most people.

Thankyou @hiphotcat

I must admit, I sometimes get a bit stroppy with people who don't say thank you when I've gone out of my way to help them. Some people can appear to be quite pushy and rude when they don't. I usually mutter a 'thank you' to myself under my breath. Although after the 4th or 5th 'ungrateful' person, I have been known to mutter a little louder!

I appreciate that people are busy and distracted, but I do think manners cost so little and make a big difference to social interaction. Lack of manners is sending the message that your time and concerns are more important than mine. I'm also less likely to go out of my way next time for you.

(Gets off soap box)

If you are the only one of your friends doing it then you need new friends.

Like I said I would thank someone for opening the door it's not comparable. My op is to not understand this etiquette, not all. This one as in stepping aside while someone passes incase that isn't clear.

Not my friends. I mean the parents on the school run. Again thought that was clear.

It is the British way to say sorry or thanks in situations where they're not actually needed although if someone moves themselves or their thing out of your way a thanks usually is polite. A cyclist thanked me for moving over on the pavement earlier even though I only did it so I could get past but I appreciated her saying it anyway.

Tutting and/or saying a sarcastic 'you're welcome' if these rules are not adhered to are also obligatory

I thank my dogs if they move out of the way for me, I guess it must have been ingrained in me from a very young age. I would consider someone rude if they didn't thank me for moving, but I wouldn't say anything.

In those situations where someone lets you pass, holds a door open for you, etc I always try and maintain eye contact and smile and/say cheers or thank you.

Haven’t rtt so not sure what else has been said

I can't believe this thread is still going on. Still, at least it gave me inspiration for my lunch. Thankyou.

It only starting this morning viques?

I think all the posters on here who forcefully demand politeness/a thank you quite rude, actually.

It was only an inch though

Doesn't qualify

You say it's not trying to start a row but what if the op had decided to retaliate by pointing out that the other woman was also being rude and pa? Someone has to let it go at some point. I couldn't imagine being so incredulous at someone not thanking me for something that I would have to basically tell them off. You can't correct someone's manners in a bad mannered way - it just makes you look ridiculous!

Do you know how the person who forgets to say thank you is actually feeling at that moment? What their situation is? Have they made eye contact and then not said anything? Maybe they are lost in thought, pondering problems, stressed or distressed - and the last thing they need is someone having a go at them for not saying 'thank you'!

brightnearly

OP when thanking a few people for moving for you to go by it is acceptable to say a few thanks and smile as you pass. You don't have to make eye contact with each person and shake their hand
You do not have right of way and you do sound self-absorbed as a pp said.

pandora I meant in length not time. I thought it would be

OP: Was I BU?

Several Responses: Yes

OP: Really?

Several Responses: Yes

OP: Oh dear , sorry to unknown woman with pram. Thanks guys, bye.

Why wouldn't anyone want to thank someone who has just stopped for them at a crossing? Or people holding doors open for you? Grates on me when I open the door for someone and they just walk by like I am their personal doorman! RUDE!