Songs ruined by misheard lyrics?

[TillyMint81]

My husband is a bugger for changing lyrics to songs.
Most recently it was the Rag n Bone Mans 'Human' that he ruined for me.
He changed to words to 'I'm in a human casserole' instead of 'I'm only human, after all'
Before that it was the song that goes 'ciao, adios, I'm done' which became 'shower de horse, I'm done'
Now when I hear them I can't hear the originals!
What songs have been ruined for you?

I thought Michael Jackson was singing 'Annie are you walking? Are you walking, Annie?'

I honestly thought "hip to be square" was "hit the bean square". Only found out the correct lyrics yesterday after finally googling to find out what the heck it meant. I laughed so much and then had to find this thread to contribute!! For years Ive wondered what a "bean square" is!!

Probably already mentioned but Dancing Queen by Abba I thought it was "You can dance you can DIE having the time of your life." Knowing it's jive and not die ruins it. If you could die from having the time of your life then it's a very good time to be had,IMO.

Maroon 5 Sugar lyrics.
I am convinced that the first verse is “when I’m without you I’m soaked in wee”.....

Hungry arse

Hungry eyes. Such a great song however I cannot sing it without thinking someone has a hungry anus.

Billy Idol "arse about face" (eyes without a face)

I always thought "I fell in love with a starship trooper" was "I fell in love with a draft excluder".

Richard Gere oh please stand down.
I have no idea what the actual words are supposed to be:

"Away in a manger, no crib for the crab..."

DH has been singing this for years as a result of mis-hearing it when his English was less than perfect

DH always changes the words to Rhianna’s wild thoughts.

“When I’m with you all I get is wild farts”

For months I genuinely thought the song ‘feels’ was ‘don’t be afraid to catch fish....I know you ain’t afraid to catch fish...’

I just had to google this...I still thought that

I thought Jerimih said 'You ain't eating, don’t tell ‘em, don’t tell ‘em' instead of 'You ain't even, don’t tell ‘em, don’t tell ‘em'

Thought it was a song about diets

This ain't a scene it's a goddamn arseface (arms race)

The Velvet Undergrounds "Femme Fatale"
Nico sings the main part and the other band members sing backing vocals. They repeatedly sing "She's a Femme Fatale" which my sister heard as "She's a filthy cow"

'My love has got no money, he's got his trampoline' (strong beliefs)

'The girl with colitis goes by' (kaleidoscope eyes)

Everytime I think of it I pinch myself by Babyface.

Sounds like, "Every time I think of it, I piss myself."

Oh and the lyrics, "Sheets on the floor, got nothing on me."

Sounds like, "Shit on the floor, got nothing on me."

Les Mis, Do You Hear the People Sing: "The blood of the martyrs will water the meadows of France" became "The bloody tomatoes will walk to the meadows and dance"

Heartofglass Not just me then! As a child (ok...until about 2 years ago) I thought Agadoo said 'push mine apple' (in an olde English Shakespearean-type way). Oops!

I also thought that Wham's Last Christmas said 'farinous heart' rather than 'fire in his heart' which I thought meant starchy or stodgy but apparently the correct adjective is farinaceous so wrong all round!!

Oh we also used to sing 'my love has got no money, he's got his trombolese' which was some kind of musical instrument apparently.

Kings of Leon

'Your Socks are on Fire'

They're the only lyrics I sing now

My lover's got no money, he"s got a strong release"

I thought 'fly like a g6' was 'fly like a cheese stick' !

I like REM's ' Calling Jamacia ' Sidewinder , ( calling to wake her )

I used to think Ziggy Stardust was 'making love with his eagle'