Songs ruined by misheard lyrics?

[TillyMint81]

My husband is a bugger for changing lyrics to songs.
Most recently it was the Rag n Bone Mans 'Human' that he ruined for me.
He changed to words to 'I'm in a human casserole' instead of 'I'm only human, after all'
Before that it was the song that goes 'ciao, adios, I'm done' which became 'shower de horse, I'm done'
Now when I hear them I can't hear the originals!
What songs have been ruined for you?

Another Eurythmics one.

Used so sing this as a kid and to this day I can never remember the correct lyrics.

"No one on earth can be like me, cause I eat frozen peas, there must be an Angel, having a fart, yeah!"

Summer of '69 - Bryan Adams.

I thought the opening line was "I had my first real sex dream" instead of "I got my first real six string".

Charlie puth

You're runnin round, runnin round, runnin round, throwin that turtle on my knee

I had to look it up.

It's actually
You're runnin round, runnin round, runnin round, throwin that dirt all on my name

Same song;

And now I'm all upon ya, like shoe express

But it's

And now I'm all up on ya, what you expect?

"I was sick and fired of everything
When I called you lasf night from Tesco"

"Chicken Tikka tell md what's wrong

"I must have licked my sevens at work at half past two"

I've been an ABBA fan since I was old enough to talk...and these are the words I used to sing!

Oh, and "Wish you were here" by Pink Floyd

"Would you exchange
A walk on fart in a door
For a meat roll in a cage"

DH has just reminded me of...

"I drove all night, and crapped in your room"

"Gold, always relieving your hole"

"Easy Lover...you'll get a hard on you believe it"

a-ha, sun always shines on tv:

'I fear the crazed and lonely looks the mirror's sending me these days'

For years I thought it was

'I fear the Krays, the lonely looks the mirror's sending me these days'

And I'd be thinking wtf, hardly a key fear for someone raised in Sweden surely

Oh and (sorry, on a roll now) Annie get your oatcakes, get your oatcakes, Annie" (was living in Stoke at the time it came out

"Calling octopus of interplanetary crap"

But it is Annie! I checked!

I know! That's the point! For years I heard:

Eddie are you okay? Are you okay Eddie?

So where did cousin Billy take her?

Cousin Billy didn't exist - it was 'That's when Billy would take me walking.'

I thought the preacher man was her uncle and she was having an thing with her cousin.

Pump Up The Jam by Technotronic.

My mom to this day still sings the wrong lyrics 😂

'Pump up the jam, pump it up, while your feet are SO BIG! (Stomping!)

😂😂😂😂😂

Hang on..

I passed my grade 5 with "Cousin Billy would take me walking" (did Rock School as well as RSM) and didn't get penalized for a mistake!

Are you SURE cousin Billy didn't exist?

Oh, and, while I'm here...

"I got my first real sex change...bought it at the five and dime"

70s song here (giving my age away)!

Moving out today by Carol Bayer sager
stayed out late one night and you moved in
I didn't mind 'cause of the state you were in
May in remind you that's its been a year since then
Today the landlady she said to me (what did she say?)
Your loony friend just made a pass at me (slap him in the face)
Perhaps you might enjoy a cottage by the sea

Cottage by the sea... Nope... Cottage pie for tea!!!!

Maroon 5 things that lovers do (?) I'm sure says I do a shit for you

Another one he's just reminded me of
Shania twain 'I can't believe you kiss your cock at night'

I've changed the words to and subsequently ruined two David Bowie songs:

There's a starman waiting in the sky
He'd like to come and meet us, but he is too shy

Andy Warhol is my friend
Sitting on the wall

It's impossible for me to sing either correctly now

Kci and Jojo

Show me happiness your penis

DH is a massive Queen fan and was horrified when he heard that I thought Killer Queen started:
‘She keeps a moving and shaking in a pretty cabinet’, rather than ‘she keeps her Moët et Chandon in a pretty cabinet’.

Once in Royal David's city stood a lonely kettle shed. Still have no idea why an adult thought this was sensible.

For years I thought that Sting was singing "I'm an Evil Alien" in New York.
I had only ever heard him on the radio and my dad encouraged me by telling me that he was part of a cult sci fi act. I believed this for too long.

The lion king has also been utterly ruined by the Amateur Transplants version of lion sleeps tonight (on youtube, do not google if faint hearted!)

That famous Elvis Presley song - A mole shoe cup

Madonna, Erotic
For years I wondered why she was singing "dear Ronny, dear Ronny, rub your hands all over my body"

@grumpymcgrumpface I remember reading about someone singing Scarborough fair and when she had finished, her child said, "Well, did he?"
"Did he what, darling?"
"Did he save Rosemary in time?"

‘Soon there’ll be a three way, yeah’ - Driving Home for Christmas.

’All I wanted was to love you gay’ - Only You by the Flying Pickets. Only realised it was ‘the love you gave’ a couple of years ago

I used to think the man at the beginning of dirty by christina aguilera was saying ‘string me along’ its ring the alarm lol
My husband asked my what push my napple was when we were singing agadoo with the kids (push pineapple) 😂

Oh oh oh oh oh I've gotta move my dragon (got the moves like Jagger).

Thanks DTs