Songs ruined by misheard lyrics?

[TillyMint81]

My husband is a bugger for changing lyrics to songs.
Most recently it was the Rag n Bone Mans 'Human' that he ruined for me.
He changed to words to 'I'm in a human casserole' instead of 'I'm only human, after all'
Before that it was the song that goes 'ciao, adios, I'm done' which became 'shower de horse, I'm done'
Now when I hear them I can't hear the originals!
What songs have been ruined for you?

Focus, Ariana Grande

"Fuck, fuck, focus on me,
Fuck, fuck, focus on me"

Missing

"And I'm a shoe! like the deserts, Mr Rayne?"

The Lion King begins with a shout of Arrr-sene Weng-ger. and continues with’you can jam a penguin up my bottom’ before the lyrics kick in

Dance dance where ever you may be, I am lord of the damp settee

Maroon 5 are prolific offenders in this thread! Both of mine are Maroon 5. "Move my Jaguar" for "Moves like Jagger"- assumed he had parking trouble, and from "Sunday Morning" the "she is all I need/she is all I see" line, I hear as "Radio Eileen/she is all I see line". Really confused me as to why he has to see rather than listen to the radio!

I used to sing 'going to the Chapel and we're gonna get mad at Harry'.

Always wondered what poor Harry had done to incur such wrath!

Taylor Swift Blank Space - "Got a lot of Starbucks lovers, they'll tell you I'm insane."... of course it is "Got a long list of ex-lovers". I thought it was something to do with people gossipping about her over their frappacinos!!
I also always thought Son of Preacher man was a bit incestuous with Cousin Billy!

Oh and I also wondered what a 'trombolese' was. As in: "My lover's got no money, he's got his tombolese'. I thought it was some sort of musical instrument, a bit like a trombone...

Dress you up in milo - madonna

"I believe in Milko,
where you from,
You sexy thing?"

Concrete jungle, wet dreams, tomatoes😣

Alicia Keys

‘Standing on my mothers corpse’

Summer of 69

Another one here for Good King Wenceless and his last looking out

Also Eton Trifles

My one was always Lord of The Dance, I grew up with the music of The Corries and I always thought they were singing “I’ll eat you all”

Wasn’t until I started secondary school and our headmaster made us sing it every Friday morning at assembly that I realised it was “I’ll lead you all”

Arianna Grande - one last time

"I know I shouldn't have farted, at least I'm being honest"

For years I thought that David Bowie was singing 'There's a snowman waiting in the sky'.

The Script - Rain: Heard "Can we just go back to penis again?" instead of "being us again"

Evanescence -Call Me When You're Sober: Heard "Toulouse you're all gay" instead of "to lose your own game"

I also heard something along the lines of 'ooh ooh ooh ooh I shit for you' In that Maroon 5 song :P

My 11 year old dd, listening to the Weather Girls:"What's so special about Israeli men anyway?"

Feeder - buck Rogers
Drinking cider from eleven instead of from a lemon (?!! I mean really)

Absolutely that new Maroon 5 song:

ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh I'm gonna shit for you....that's what lovers do!

DH & I were in hysterics in the car the first time we heard it.

Just learned at the weekend that Dave Gahan hasn’t been inviting me to reach and touch him, all these years.

Crying with laughter at these.
My friends sister used to think message in a bottle went 'knickers in a parcel' and UB40s song one in ten went 'I am the one inch head'

DH told me about how his work friend thought the song 'Symphony' was called 'Stephanie' and now I can't unhear it

Was it the Pointer sisters?
When it comes to love, I need a slow hand...
I need a lover with an easy touch,
I want someone who will something, something,
Not come and go with a heated brush

sinister I thought it was 'hows about a face?'

Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree -
“Later we’ll have some fuckin’ pie
And do some carolling”
Like she was sick of mince pies by Christmas, never heard of pumpkin pie til recently.