Songs ruined by misheard lyrics?

[TillyMint81]

My husband is a bugger for changing lyrics to songs.
Most recently it was the Rag n Bone Mans 'Human' that he ruined for me.
He changed to words to 'I'm in a human casserole' instead of 'I'm only human, after all'
Before that it was the song that goes 'ciao, adios, I'm done' which became 'shower de horse, I'm done'
Now when I hear them I can't hear the originals!
What songs have been ruined for you?

Abba: “Take your teeth out, tell me what’s wrong”

TacoflavouredKisses I'm glad I'm not the only one, thats bothered me for years!

For me it’s not that I mishear them, I drive my DP potty by rewording lyrics to make them silly/rude.

Just some examples

Tainted Love: “Don’t touch me please I cannot stand the taste of cheese”

Betty Davies Eyes: “She’s got sweaty, great big thighs”

Wings of a Dove: “Whoa, Whoa, you‘re the king of the poofs“

Etc. It’s a hobby.

Yellow by coldplay.
'For you I bleed myself dry'
Misheard as 'for you a pee myself'

It is Good King Wencelas last looked out though or the words don't work with the music.

Mouse it's not. Take replace last with lass. He looked out but not for the last time.

I always hear the first line of that Jason Derulo song as “I got the shits on the floor” instead of “sheets on the floor”

Me too. Always accompanied by cackling 'aye we've all been there, pal!' (Then 'look at those bloody abs!')

My friend used to think that it was “throw those pidegons wiiiide” for “throw those curtains wiiiiide” and also “don’t go draining waterfalls” for Gabrielle’s “don’t go chasing waterfalls”...same friend also announced loudly in a supermarket she was going to be a virgin when she grew up, she meant vegan. Miss her!

My nan once quickly turned off the car radio in disgust because she thought Red Hot Chili Peppers were telling her to "dream of Colin fornicating"

I always hear Lady Gaga’s Bad Romance as ‘I want John Barrowman’.

Madonna's La Isla Bonita

Tropical the island breeze I thought was chocolate covered island trees

And Abbas one of us is lying I thought was on a bus a lion

And Deep Blue Something's Breakfast at Tiffany's, the line "and I said I think we both kinda liked it" I thought was "and I said I think we're both kinda hi tech"

I always hear Madonna's La Isla Bonita as...

'Last night I dreamt of lumbago'

'Young girls with eyes like potatoes'

Yes, I know that doesn't sound anything like the lyrics. And I can't blame it on anyone else.

La Isla bonita seems a popular one for misheard lyrics. A couple of us posted about it earlier on the thread

It's Wenceslas though, not Wencelas

Good King Wenceslas looked out
On the feast of Stephen

Or

Good King Wenceslas looked out
If his bedroom window
Silly bugger he fell out
Burned his arse on cinders

When Olivia Newton John sings, "You're the One that I Want", it always sounds like "You're the Wizard of Oz..."

"Baby I don't need yellow pills to have fun tonight" I only recently realised it was dollar bills, I thought the yellow pills was some new drug the young people of today were enjoying.

I've just learned that The Verve are singing 'passed down my old street' rather than the more sensible 'pissed down my own stream'. Really?

I've just remembered another one.
"You chose a fine time to leave me Lucille. Four hundred children and a crappy old field ".

My daughter sings:

'I ain't got gash, I ain't got gash
But I got you baby'

Supposed to be
'I ain't got cash, I ain't got cash'

She's 3 . I'm sure she doesn't understand what she's saying and it's just a massive coincidence that she misheard 'cash' for 'gash'.

'Gash' isn't a word I've ever really used.

ABBA Supertrooper - “I was sick and tired of everything
When I called you last night from Tesco”

"Nice beaver, nice beaver, you don't have to show it" (Night Fever).

"Lost in Munich ... no turning back" (Lost in Music).

I know someone who used to sing the wrong lyrics to that Annie Lennox song walking on broken glass:

“It feels just like I’m walking in broad daylight.
Walking in, Walking in, Broad daylight.”
Instead of
“It feels just like I’m walking on broken glass.
Walking on, Walking on, Broken glass.”

I misheard a couple of lyrics with killers songs -
When We Where Young- the bit that goes
“he doesn’t look a thing like Jesus”
I heard as “he doesn’t look a bit like He-Man”

Somebody Told Me - the bit that says
“Never thought I’d let a rumour ruin my moonlight”
For the longest time I thought he said “Never thought I’d let a roo-ma-roo in my new life”. I had no idea what a roo-ma-roo was.

When Madonna sings "Let the choir sing!" In Like A Prayer. I thought for years it was "Level Crossing!" and always have to sing that now.

I also thought she was singing "Drop a goolie, island breeze."

When DS2 was little he thought Mark Morrison was singing, "You give me something, that makes me scare your eyes." I always have to sing that version now.

Bon Jovi - "We gotta hold on, to what we've got, it doesn't make a difference if we're naked or not".

“My bum is on fire and I’m losing my sanity” - David Grey-Be mine