Songs ruined by misheard lyrics?

[TillyMint81]

My husband is a bugger for changing lyrics to songs.
Most recently it was the Rag n Bone Mans 'Human' that he ruined for me.
He changed to words to 'I'm in a human casserole' instead of 'I'm only human, after all'
Before that it was the song that goes 'ciao, adios, I'm done' which became 'shower de horse, I'm done'
Now when I hear them I can't hear the originals!
What songs have been ruined for you?

"Hey there amigo" instead of "Hey where did we go ?"
Brown eyed girl - I genuinely thought that was the opening line for years until husband pointed it out, and I still sing the amigo line but it bugs me because I know it's wrong now.

DS's were

Praise you like a shoe instead of Praise you like a shoe

Ting Tings' That's Not My Name was 'It's on my knee, it's on my knee'

Jason Derulo Want to want me. I always hear the lyrics of "I've got the sheets on the floor" as "I got the shits on the floor"

Also Charlie Puth " You've been running round, running round running round throwing that turtle on my knee" is what I thought the lyrics were for months until I googled it to see what he was on about and it was "dirt up on my name"!!!!! My DD was in stitches for several minutes but jeez listen and you will hear what I mean.

DP always ruins songs for me. He sings rude lyrics to them and it really puts me off them. (he is quite good at it though)

Coldplay paradise I really thought he was singing parrots eyes..

Last night you were in my loo,
Now my bedsheets smell like poo,
Everyday discovering something brand new...

I used to think it was Blue Heaven is a place on earth until I sang it on singstar and realised it was oooh heaven!
My friend was convinced it was chasing penguins instead of chasing pavements! He thought that made more sense than chasing pavements
Timewarp, Now put your hands on your tits instead of hips (and we all still sing it that way and grab our boobs instead of our hips)
DobbyLovesSocks I do that with Sweet Dreams since seeing that on FB too!
There are others but mostly crude changes friends and I drunkily changed many many years ago!

Ha ha at "Those bastards" for Ghost Busters.

Me and a friend used to sing 'last night i dreamt of some bagels..with melted cheese on top i ate the lot' and it has never left my head. La isla bonita i believe

Backstreet Boys, I want it that way:

Read: Ain't nothin' but a mistake…

Heard: Ain't nothin' but a beef steak

Everytime.

I used to think it sounded like "Young girl with eyes like potato" in La Isla Bonita.

I used to think it sounded like "Young girl with eyes like potato" in La Isla Bonita.

When I was a child I thought Scarborough Fair went -:

Are you going to Scarborough Fair
For to save Rosemary and Clive

No idea who I thought Rosemary and Clive were but I imagined them being stuck on the big wheel and having to be rescued!

The new maroon 5 song. No idea what the lyrics are but I swear he sings "do do do do dooo build a shed for you"

I thought it was "ooh ooh ooh ooh oooooh let me shit for you, that's what lovers do"

Kungfu, I'm sure they sing 'I'm as serious as cancer' though...so not hugely better

Yes, of course they do! I'd forgotten that. So I was right about the song being distasteful. When it was on the radio we must have been arguing over the misheard bit and didn't notice the later bit.

Garms, I've always sang it as parrots eyes

Once at a party with my ex boyfriend he was standing next to the buffet singing Emilie Sandé “You will find him, you’ll find him next to cheese. Next to cheeeesssseee ooo-ooo”

kungfupannda

“Oh and Michael Jackson wasn't asking if Annie was okay - it was Eddie he was concerned about.”

But it is Annie! I checked!

I thought Mr Brightside was ‘Eagle eyes’ and I also sing ‘king of the open road’ when it’s ‘king under your control’ by Years and Years - my kids laugh at me.
Also there’s one that sounds like ‘Lonely hoarder’ but I can’t remember the real words - was out a couple of years ago.

For many years I thought the lyrics in La Isla Bonita that say Tropical the Island breeze actually said

Chocolate goolies, island dreams!

It never made sense to me, but I just couldn't work out what it really was. I only know now because I have just looked it up online.

Thanks all! I'm loving this. Only thing is if they don't have original lyrics with them all I end up doing is seeing the new lyrics and can't remember the old ones
Couple more I've remembered
My very proper aunt used to go to an exercise club and told me a few years later that she had a real shock to find out that the song she had been singing along to with gusto didn't go 'I'm honey, honey, honey, honey'!! When she found out it was 'I'm horny'

Another one was my daughter singing 'knock, knock, knocking on Heathers door'

panda the Anne Marie one is in the first post! And I have just learnt cousin billy didn't take her walking

Paradise by Coldplay is changed by husband to Parrot Pie
Sam smith 'oh won't you stay with me, cause you're all I need' became 'cause I'm only three' according to my mum!

paradise is always paralysed to me!

So where did cousin Billy take her?