To cook what I want on Xmas day?

[isitginoclock]

So... for the last few years (since the children were born) I have never cooked a full roast on Christmas Day when I've been hosting. We do a roast on either Xmas eve or Boxing Day, and then for Christmas Day we have something else that's easy to prepare in advance - steak and chips, lasagna, slow cooker curry - basically so we can drink prosecco chill out all morning and spend some nice time as a family.

It's always gone down really well with guests. However, this year, my inlaws are kicking up a fuss and saying that they will only come if we cook a full roast dinner. They say that they do a roast when we come over for Xmas so we should do the same.

AIBU to tell them that the steak and chips are staying and they can take it or leave it?

Once again: guests don't get to dictate both the menu and the time of their visit. If they don't like what's on offer, they can come another time or not come at all.

A dietary wish such as vegetarianism or not eating something on offer is reasonable, demanding a roast is not. So another time or not at all in my opinion.

Ragwort I think she revels in putting people down rather than actually not liking the food iyswim? I invited her for so long because DP and BIL hadn’t had a Christmas together since their dad died (their Mum died 8 years before) and I felt a sense of duty to have them together again. BIL is lovely, SIL is an abusive partner and she cannot abide BIL to be close with anyone but her, which is probably why DP and I put up with her for so long.

This year it’s been made abundantly clear that it will just be us, or possibly us and my dad (Mum died in June, so wouldn’t want him to be alone) if he doesn’t go to my aunt and uncle. I’m not dancing to her tune any longer, she can like it or lump it. On the plus side DP and BIL work together now so they see each other a lot, so it’s not so hard trying to get them together any more.

If I ware you in laws I'd come for the roast and Christmas Day...be careful

Yeah, vegetarianism/veganism/food allergies etc need to be catered for (though if you have a really, really restricted diet, you are probably better off staying at home rather than making an extended family occasion All About You. This is absolutely quadrupled if your food issues are to do with ridiculous trendy diets or 'intolerances' or some other form of attention seeking.)

Where is your husband in all this?

I probably wouldn't be happy to go somewhere for Christmas if there wasn't a traditional roast. However, it absolutely is your perogative.

So where are you now? You have offered Boxing Day, they have said they want to come on Christmas Day but they want a roast, is that right?

I would tell them you need don't want them Christmas Day knowing they are sniffy about the food, so you will see them Boxing Day instead. It's your home, they don't get to call the shots. It's fit in or fuck off time.

Each to their own OP but eating lasagne on Christmas Day is probably the saddest thing I ever heard.

Book the in laws in at the pub for their roast and they can come to you after/before.

I love a good lasagne and if I were invited to eat one on Christmas Day, I'd be delighted. I do not like turkey although my family does and I do tend to pander to them.

“motherinferior

If you think ‘curry’ isn’t special you’re not cooking it right.”

Well my partner is from Kerala and I leave the cooking to him... I was just using the terminology the OP did.

I stand by what I said though, I like seasonal food and also enjoy eating the kinds of food and drink that are associated with the event/ritual/festivity. So curry or lasagne wouldn’t excite me on Christmas Day.

Plenty of Syrian Christians in Kerala.

In fact I would walk barefoot through the south London streets on Christmas Day for a good Keralan Christmas dinner. Madly culturally appropriate and my god so much nicer than turkey and roast potatoes.

It's always gone down really well with guests

You mean your guests have been too well mannered to mention they are disappointed and feel not particularly welcome. Wheras you have no manners at all and invite guests but then cater purely to your own tastes.

Why not just have your nuclear family and then you can please yourselves? When you invite others you have an obligation to think of them and not be purely selfish.

Mulberry Your Christmas Day sounds fab! OH and I are toying with abandoning a traditional Christmas dinner this year as it's just a large roast which we aren't that keen on anyway. We only do Christmas dinner as the kids like (parts of) it and other people would go on so much about us not having one that we just do it! A Sunday roast is not a treat and so something other than this would be so much better on Christmas Day.

Lasagne, a huge bowl of pasta, buffet or just crisps, snacks, chocolate and booze would do us fine! The kids might need something else though...

Shame they won't want to come ifnits not a xmas roast eh?

I love Christmas dinner. Always go to my mums. Last year she started chemo 4 days before Christmas and so aunt Bessie did ours
This year she can't decide if she wants to aunt Bessie for ease or do a whole roast as she didn't think she'd be here to do one.

We've all said Auntie Bessie - just as nice and meant she sat down and chilled for some of it. We've even told her we'll ply her with extra alcohol

We have our roast Christmas eve. Then DH makes his amazing bubble and squeak with the leftovers and we have that on the day.

'In fact I would walk barefoot through the south London streets on Christmas Day for a good Keralan Christmas dinner. '

Same! Absolutely one of the best meals I've ever had and no sprouts in sight.

for Expat at our superb local restaurant

I.am.SO.jealous! Mmmm.

This happened last year ! There was a thread about Christmas dinners and it got me in the mood so much that I ended up serving one for my family and DPs for lunch today, although sadly dear old M&S haven't got their pigs in blankets and specialized stuffing in yet.

It was absolutely yum and with a gammon in the slow cooker and a turkey crown in the oven, actually hardly any effort at all - certainly took a lot less time than preparing a lasagne. Each to their own I suppose.