To cook what I want on Xmas day?

[isitginoclock]

So... for the last few years (since the children were born) I have never cooked a full roast on Christmas Day when I've been hosting. We do a roast on either Xmas eve or Boxing Day, and then for Christmas Day we have something else that's easy to prepare in advance - steak and chips, lasagna, slow cooker curry - basically so we can drink prosecco chill out all morning and spend some nice time as a family.

It's always gone down really well with guests. However, this year, my inlaws are kicking up a fuss and saying that they will only come if we cook a full roast dinner. They say that they do a roast when we come over for Xmas so we should do the same.

AIBU to tell them that the steak and chips are staying and they can take it or leave it?

Guests shouldnt dictate what is served

I have started taking Christmas eve off work and that's when we do our 'civilised' immediate family meal. Works so much better for us. I have found it much more relaxing that way over the years.

I do cook a roast but we are veggie and it literally takes just over an hour. And it is all in one tray with one pan for steamed veg.

However for years we had chilli. That was actually more work than a veggie roast. So I downsized a couple of years back.

Cook it the day before, plate it, fridge it, point them to the microwave

I haven’t cooked Xmas dinner for the past 5 years but that’s because we always go on holiday and we buy Waitrose or M&S ready meals....and it’s only the 4 of us.

This year however, we have to stay at home and my parents aren’t going anywhere on xmas day so I think they’re jus the coming for tea which will be something like a casserole or fish pie.

Tell your inlaws cooking a massive roast on Xmas day stresses you out but they can feel to come and cook one in your oven or b) not come.

Have you invited them or have they invited themselves?

I often host Christmas and would always cook the full turkey meal and have always been offered the same when I have been a guest - but then our family are all real foodies & Christmas is about going to Church, having a feast and playing a few board games.

Why not suggest they join you for Christmas Eve or another day when you cook the turkey meal?

So let them come on another day. You've invited them to join your family and as the host/ess, you get to decide the menu. If they want to choose the menu they have a choice - they cook their own dinner or they go to a restaurant.
For those who don't understand what is 'so hard' about cooking a roast, op hasn't said it's hard, just that as the cook, it's her choice to cook something other than a turkey roast.

YANBU. You day, your house, your dinner.

We've had chinese takeaway the last two years. Ordered in xmas eve and bunged in the microwave

I must be the biggest grinch at Christmas as 'watching the children enjoying their presents' is the biggest bore of all. I never forget one Christmas when DH spent over an hour putting 'Mouse Trap' together, I had to sit there with a forced grin on my face that said 'this is what being a parent at Christmas is all about' - and then DS played with it for all of 5 minutes.

I am much happier in the kitchen, cooking a lovely roast turkey with a bottle of something sparkling to drink. .

Although I love Christmas lunch, surely Christmas day is about spending a special day together with fun, treats, nice drinks, Xmas TV, maybe exchanging gifts, etc...
The lunch is the main cause of stress for the person who cooks it on Christmas day so why should PIL dictate you should serve it.
If they want one, there's nothing wrong with coming to yours or doing their own on Christmas eve.

Agreed, it's not that difficult or time consuming to do a roast, it's more about not being arsed and you getting to decide what you want to do for a change rather than pleasing everyone else.

Surely the whole idea of Christmas dinner is the family being together , being happy together, not what is cooked for them.

Tell the ILs is your choice what to cook. If they dont like it , tough.

We dont do turkey, even the meat eaters dislike it.

Luckily my DS is a chef and preps everything for us , poor soul was working last Xmas, Boxing Day too.

It's not that stressful or time consuming.

It's rude of them to dictate the menu i cook a roast on Christmas day and boxing day i do a variety of food on Christmas eve such as home made kebabs curry and garlic and nan breads so like a takeaway but home made my other half is happy with 2 roasts over Xmas he would not want 3 honestly cook what you like op

Is it really so hard to make a roast? Just buy a turkey crown and a couple of trays of veg / potato’s then make up a jug of instant gravy.

Instant gravy! What a let down that would be. I like the full works, including giblet stock as the basis for gravy, and have always arranged things so I could do it, even when our children were small. I left them playing with their new tat toys under their father's supervision and I got to spend time with Radio 4 (usually exceptionally good at Christmas) on my own in the kitchen doing the cooking, with a bottle of chilled Tio Pepe to keep me going. Win
win.

As for your dilemma, OP, I agree with everybody else. They know the deal if they come to yours. It's not their place to insist you change to their way of doing things. Rude.

Me too ragwort I like to be left on my own Plenty of time after lunvh to do family stuff.

Actually thinking about it , this year will be a bit stressful. DPs are coming and DM has to help, which generally means her standing in the way of the oven when I'm trying to get things in and out and talking a lot when Im concentrating on timings. Sigh - she is old and I need to be a nicer person than I am.

We cook curry on Christmas day and it's fab!

What is the arrangement here? Do you all take turn hosting and everyone else does Christmas dinner and when it’s your turn you just put a lasagne on? Must say that I would probably be a bit miffed with that, especially if you’ve dove to the effort of doing Christmas dinner but just not for the people who you have coming over for Christmas. I think it is more that PIL have just declined your invitation because of what you are (or aren’t) cooking rather than demanding that you change the menu.

Jesus didn't eat a roast on his birthday.

This is a GENIUS answer and one that you should give. (Mind you, bet he didn't eat steak and chips for his birthday, either, but I totally would.)

Cook what you like. They are out of order dictating the meal.

Ask them to cook it if they want a roast dinner?

We've had chinese takeaway the last two years. Ordered in xmas eve and bunged in the microwave

This is also genius, SuperSharpShooter. I've always wanted to eat Chinese food on xmas day, when I discovered that it was a Jewish-American custom. (I am neither Jewish nor American, it must be said.)

OP don't be such a grinch!

Just move your Xmas Eve/Boxing Day roast to Xmas Day and have lasagne or whatever on those days.

What does your DP/DH think anyway? They get away with murder re Xmas doo daahs lol.