To cook what I want on Xmas day?

[isitginoclock]

So... for the last few years (since the children were born) I have never cooked a full roast on Christmas Day when I've been hosting. We do a roast on either Xmas eve or Boxing Day, and then for Christmas Day we have something else that's easy to prepare in advance - steak and chips, lasagna, slow cooker curry - basically so we can drink prosecco chill out all morning and spend some nice time as a family.

It's always gone down really well with guests. However, this year, my inlaws are kicking up a fuss and saying that they will only come if we cook a full roast dinner. They say that they do a roast when we come over for Xmas so we should do the same.

AIBU to tell them that the steak and chips are staying and they can take it or leave it?

McDonald are open Christmas Day....

Isnt the whole idea of Christmas dinner to cook as little as possible so you can spend the time enjoying yourself.

Generally our idea of a christmas dinner is something we will all enjoy- last year it was curry with all the trimmings and I mean all. The year before we had beans on toast we all had flu. That would probably make your MIL expire in a fit of vapours.

If she wants a roast she cooks it IMO.

We had fish and chips one year, because our daughter had died two weeks before and it was all we could manage. It was actually a really joyful meal despite the circumstances, and since then we have chosen what we really felt like eating and not what we feel we should have. Sometimes that's a roast, sometimes it's steak pie or steak and kidney pudding, or whatever else wins the family vote.
Other people probably wouldn't get it, so we don't invite them.

Im making macaroni and thats it, if they dont like it they can eat at home

I would love to have Chinese takeaway on Christmas Day!

I don't think you are at all unreasonable to cook what you want to, in your home. Only proviso is make sure the guest know well in advance, so they can choose not to come if they prefer. I suspect in this case PIL may be trying to "bully" you to do as they want, so I would call their bluff.

Do what you like op, can’t be doing with guests moaning about what you’re cooking when they know what it is in advance. Also get dh doing the lions share if it’s his parents.

personally as long as i seen my children christmas day i could,nt care less what they serve .beans and toast and some diet coke would do me fine as long as they had nice cake got to have nice cake .if she is that fussy tell her to cook it and bring it with her

Christmas just brings out the very best in everyone.

Instant gravy?

On CHRISTMAS DAY?

‘Faints’

Thanks for all your comments. Both me and DP have big/ extended families so we don't "take turns" per se. If they didn't want to come on the basis of our plans, I'd be fine with that (and so would DP) - we've suggested that they come over on our roast day (Boxing Day this year) but they say they want to come on Xmas day to see the kids and that they want a roast....

@Zippy.

So sorry for your loss. Puts things into perspective really.

Don't cave.

They can come on Christmas Day and have whatever you're having. Or they can come a different day and have a roast. It's up to them what's more important, seeing the children or food.

Zippy, sorry to hear about your daughter. 💐

Op, it is rude behaviour on the part of your guests to dictate the menu. Do not budge an inch. Or let your DH cook the dinner entirely and you sit and have fun/ drink prosecco. Do not put yourself out.

Have a lovely Christmas and please don't be put upon. X

Just pop to M&S and grab a couple of their ready type roast dinners for one then enjoy your steak and chips

YANBU
My inlaws announced they were not joining us last year when we decided to have a curry. Seems as the year before they came ate and left...I was more than happy!

trollarama I once had beans on toast, alone, for christmas lunch in a holiday cottage I'd borrowed from a friend. I was in my late teens, wanted a break from a series of rather traumatic xmases, and it was ace, just lovely. There wasn't even a telly - I listened to radio 4 all day.

Next year, my best friend and housemate taught me how to do xmas properly according to her family, and it's been great ever since!

They want a roast? Cheeky wotsits, let them bring one then. Do not give in, please.

If they want a roast and you’re happy to do it another day, can you not just explain that?

As in, this is what we will be doing on Christmas Day. If you want to join us for that, great. However I will be doing a full roast dinner on xday so if you’d rather join us for that, you’d be welcome to do so.

Your house, your Christmas. It’s up to them if they want to accept your invitation.

YANBU tell them if they want a roast they can cook it

Have your roast on Xmas eve and plate up 2 extra, then Xmas day have your steak and chips and bing their roast in the microwave... simples 😁

@CurlsandCurves that sounds like a very reasonable attitude... are you free for Christmas?!

Plate up 2 dinners from xmas Eve and heat that upnin the micro way while you enjoy your lasagna!! Done

FWIW I buy every thing frozen that gets shoved in the over ... with yes instant gravy!! With ready made pigs in blanket and frozen veg

DH and I take it in turns to do Christmas dinner

Totally your call but if I was the PILs I'd come to you on Boxing Day and stay at home and cook my own on Christmas Day. For me the best part of the day is having the family sat down eating the traditional Christmas dinner.

I'm definitely with you OP - we never do a roast on Christmas Day (and never turkey at all as DH and I prefer red meat).

Normally we have a big meal on Christmas Eve, then left overs on Christmas Day - this year that isn't possible, so I've enjoyed all the suggestions for alternative Christmas dinners

Yanbu OP. Your PIL are being inconsiderate. Cooking a proper roast turkey dinner yourself is a lot of work and naturally you would prefer to spend the time with your young children. Can you make your easy alternative Christmas dinner something you at least know they like? What about a pie? That might keep all happy. BTW steak and chips was our family Christmas dinner growing up!