To cook what I want on Xmas day?

[isitginoclock]

So... for the last few years (since the children were born) I have never cooked a full roast on Christmas Day when I've been hosting. We do a roast on either Xmas eve or Boxing Day, and then for Christmas Day we have something else that's easy to prepare in advance - steak and chips, lasagna, slow cooker curry - basically so we can drink prosecco chill out all morning and spend some nice time as a family.

It's always gone down really well with guests. However, this year, my inlaws are kicking up a fuss and saying that they will only come if we cook a full roast dinner. They say that they do a roast when we come over for Xmas so we should do the same.

AIBU to tell them that the steak and chips are staying and they can take it or leave it?

We didn't bother with a traditional dinner last year. We had to drop off DSS at his mum's in the afternoon. I think we had leftover pie from the night before (which IS a tradition)

I think you are being a bit unreasonable. So I am with cathyclown.

Normally, I would say cook what you like but in this case I do think that they are not being unreasonable for wanting a roast dinner on Christmas Day. If you won't cook it, then your dh could.

You can peel and chop potatoes the night before and most of it is not too hard. My dh usually does the meet and I do the veg.

I think a roast is not overly hard to do and in some ways individually frying 4 or 5 or 6 steaks is harder than sticking a bird or a joint in the oven., IMHO.

"Lordy, that would be a result! I just don't want to change plans, as I think that Christmas is about who you're with not what you eat." So it sounds like you don't like them much, and you say it is about who is there. Are you secretly hoping they won't come?

They do sound a bit rude to be insisting but I kind of feel for them if they are willing to do this for you when you come to theirs. Cooking has not stopped me drinking my tipple (mulled wine) and I've not yet ended up with my head in the gravy!

Tell them to have their meal before or after their visit to yours. Can't imagine the cheek of telling you what to cook in your own kitchen.

As in, this is what we will be doing on Christmas Day. If you want to join us for that, great. However I will be doing a full roast dinner on xday so if you’d rather join us for that, you’d be welcome to do so.

Well put! Agreed...

I'm with you OP. Last year we had party food! DP only gets a day off for Christmas so our priority is making the day effortless. This year we're doing a full dinner but that's because it's what we fancy, not because it's expected. I tell my extended family what we're planning and they're welcome to come if they want but I definitely won't be dictated to about how I should spend my Christmas.

I've hosted Christmas day twice. Admittedly, one of those times under horrific circumstances which meant I was a mess anyway, but Yanbu. It's such a hassle and a stress and you end up spending way too much time in the kitchen. Then there is the washing up. Stick to your guns!

Exactly what CurlesandCurves said
Come for Christmas Day and see the children etc and Not have a roast
Or
Come on Boxing Day and have the full works ✅

I agree that I would be exponentially more flustered cooking several steaks than one roast, especially with all the different levels people like them.

My fiance and I just divvy up the jobs so that neither of us has to be up on our feet in the kitchen for more than 5m in turns every 20m.

Veg, chipolatas, stuffing, potatoes can all be prepped beforehand. It's much easier in my head than having so many steaks ready at the same time!

I love Christmas dinner so want to eat that on Christmas Day. I'd only accept an invitation for Christmas Day if a traditional dinner was being served. It wouldn't feel like Christmas to me without it. I really wouldn't want lasagne or steak and chips instead.
You are obviously free to cook whatever you like and your in laws are free to accept or decline your invitation. Them visiting on a different day is probably the best solution.

Oh, brother, there are always the martyrs who tell you how easy it is to just 'pop a few veg in' or how you can pander to rude and demanding people. They can take what they're given or lump it.

'As in, this is what we will be doing on Christmas Day. If you want to join us for that, great. However I will be doing a full roast dinner on xday so if you’d rather join us for that, you’d be welcome to do so.'

Spot on.

I’ve never cooked a roast dinner in my life and loathe Christmas dinner. I would much rather eat steak and chips.

Guests don't get to dictate the menu or the timings.
Mind you, this Xmas I will have reached the age of 53 without ever having hosted Christmas (being single and living in a house too small to have guests for a meal is great!)

Marks and Spencer's do a nice Christmas meal deal, you could get that and it would still be easy.

Very rude of the in laws to demand it though, if somebody is kind enough to host on Christmas Day you should eat what you're given.

Whaaaaaaaaaat! It's my favourite meal of the year! It's overhyped and never lives up to the build up and effort but I'm looking forward to
it already. Seriously though, it's your Christmas, your family. Do whatever you want. How can you not want piggies in blankets though?

Sorry, just read the post properly, you do it the day before or after. That's totally reasonable

Omg. I would probably then buy a frozen dinner and enjoy the time with family
But I am one of those who prefers to spend quality time with my kids than stuffing a turkey in my gob

@Zippy

We're another no roast on Christmas Day family. I don't see the point of spending ages in the kitchen cooking something that the kids will be too excited to eat when I could be eating truffles in the bath.

YANBU. I hate cooking Christmas dinner, I just find it too much hassle and never actually enjoy eating it.

My mother in law once pulled out of coming for dinner at 9pm on Christmas Eve because I couldn't give her a precise time for when we'd be eating. Our sons were very young and Christmas morning was always crazy busy in our house so dinner was always ready when it was ready (and that was the answer that she was given) but that wasn't good enough for her.

@ginteresting we tend to have pigs in blankets/ devils on horseback at some point on Xmas day, I can't do without them either

I do the roast, but fuck peeling veg or sprouts or any of that shit. It's the 3 bird number from Lidl with ready prepped veg and trimmings from M&S including the Yorkshire puds. We all hate sprouts and Xmas pudding so we skip that. It's basically sling the pans in and they're the sort that can be thrown out afterwards. I even buy in Xmas paper plates. The kids don't care, they just want to play with all their stuff. We just want to chill out.

Now I want steak and chips with some mushy peas and a salad. And a glass of wine.

Totally your choice but I couldn't not have a Christmas dinner. We went to mil last year and as nice and kind as she it, it was a miserable affair. No crackers, no nice gravy (sludge) not roasties. Tiny glass one wine. No music TV or radio or any fun.

She sat us all up individually so dh and i finished, then half hour later fil had his. I did a huge pile of washing up and hated every minute.

So in answer to your question - each to their own and I think if people want their day their way - diy

I don't think it's unreasonable for guests coming on Christmas day for lunch to kind of expect Christmas dinner.. Its something people look forward to all year.

(whispers) . . . you can have a Christmas dinner any time of year. You can make it whenever you want. It's just a roast.

'No MIL, you're thinking of restaurants, those places where you go and order what you want to eat. You pay them, you see.'