...to think it's possible to go back to work full time after mat leave?

[Jumperoux]

Would work 37 hours over 4 days with DD in nursery. Every other week she would be in nursery on the 5th day of the week so I can do overtime. She'll be 12 months and a bit.

Please give me your best tips. I'm hoping to still be breastfeeding morning/bedtime. I've heard that without daytime feeds then babies can start waking more in the night when mother goes back to work? And the idea of leaving the house for 7:20 fills me with dread. Will I be expected to give her breakfast before nursery? Any tips more than welcome. Wondering if I've made a mistake saying I'll go full time.

I’ve done it and still do it, it can be hard but I promise there are some benefits! We had the best intentions and initially put our dd in nursery for two days and family covered the other two days, I worked 34 hours over 4 days and had a day off. Then it all started getting ridiculous. MIL did not want to handle my breast milk and there would be arguments, my own mother discovered she had some health problems and it wasn’t feasible anymore, resulting in me taking holidays at last minute (not her fault I know). We put dd in nursery for 4 days a week at 9 months old and it’s the best decision we made, she is social, intelligent, her speech, potty training etc is going well due to there being older children for her to learn from. Working FT hours over 4 days though is hard work, I used to express milk at work for my daughter until she turned one and I have never been so tired, I now work FT over 5 days and it’s so much better. When dd turned one I started mixing whole milk into her expressed milk to get her used to the taste and within two weeks she was drinking whole milk at nursey. We still breastfeed now and she will be 2.5 in December and we feed when we get up, come home from our days (a nice cuddle and reunion) and at bedtime. Of course if I did not need to work full time things would be different but for us this works, I get my adult conversation and interaction in the day, dd gets her interaction with other children and will be more than ready for school. My only tip is to start your child a couple of weeks before you go back to work as they will pick up illness from nursery initially. Good luck! Xx

Of course it's possible! Just need to be organized and you'll get into the groove. I work FT and have two young DCs and am single.

The fact is if you're asking then maybe you don't need to work FT. If you didn't need to you'd just get on with it like many, many women do.

I do wonder why people have kids to then not spend any time with them?!

She may be fine, she may not. Same with you. Practically it's easily managed but emotionally another thing. It will impact the attachment you have with her as she will spend more time bonding with others.

Personally I'd think twice.

Ha, I used to be like Sunshine1.
Then my husband lost his job and we were bloody grateful I could work full time.

Of course you can still breastfeed when they go to nursery. They don't link the lack of it to nursery, that's bollocks. Just feed in the morning before you drop her then feed when you come home. You could probably feed again when she goes to bed. Nice mix of all worlds.
Yes it can be balanced but you need lists and probably a cleaner!

And no it won't impact the bond with her.
That is tosh.

I am just about to go back full time after my third child. I have always been full time.
It helps if you can share pickup/drop off especially with three kids.
Other than that just plan your route to work well in advance so you are not stressed about timings. Breakfast clubs are great - eating with their friends really encourages them to try new things.
And make sure you have a nursery you and your partner can completely trust them neither of you need to worry throughout the day.

I do 37 hours over 5 days but often end up in early to beat the traffic so build Flexi and get at least a day off every 3 weeks. I never considered not going back full time. I don't understand why people don't think it's possible. FWIW we have no family support, just each other.

My mum went back to full time work after a few months off, not even full maternity because my parents could not

Hit send by mistake. They couldn't afford to not have her working. It worked alright, although have to say I don't think we've ever had a great relationship but probably not just because of that.

And yes, I still breastfeed,no it hasn't impacted our bond. I don't find it hard getting out in the morning (45 minutes from waking to in the car). And personally I find it easier and more fulfilling than when I was on mar leave.

Yes, you can do it- it’ll be tiring and will require organisation though! Breastfeeding will be fine - mine is nearly two and been in Nursery a year and I still BF morning and evening. It has made no difference to DD’s sleep. She has cow’s milk during the day at nursery.

When looking for a nursery look for the keyworker system - your child will build a bond with one or two key people who will be the ones who do the nappy changes and keep an eye on them. Check that the nursery you want provides the meals you need - we looked round two, one did all three meals plus snacks, the other only lunch. It is much easier if you can drop them off and they have beeakfast at nursery rather than trying to get it done at home.

Get everything ready the night before - I take a packed breakfast and lunch to work with me, which saves time in the morning. Check and pack all bags too. And I have clothes out for both of us ready to put on. We haven’t had problems with illness - thought I’d be using up loads of leave when she was too ill for Nursery but that has happened just one day in eleven months!

I thrived on returning to work. I didn’t particularly enjoy maternity leave and mine and DD’s relationship has really blossomed since I’ve not been at home all the time. Enjoy your return to work!

Do most people use nurseries?

I went back full time when my son was 2 months old but with a nanny. I didn't consider a nursery- some of what is described here does sound like hard work. He did go to the pre-school nursery attached to his school for a couple of hours each day when he was 3 but the nanny took him and collected him. I think I'd have found it quite difficult if I had been using a nursery.

Nannies way too expensive where we are - cost of employing someone is prohibitive (Scandinavia.) nurseries are good quality though and ds has thrived in his.

I've done full time hours over 4 days for almost 8 years now since DD was 1 and I went back to work.

Initially she was at nursery until school and now we use a mix of school and after-school care. you do need a back up plan to handle sickness - I've generally been lucky that my employer is very flexible.

So far, it doesn't seem to have affected the bond we have. We're very close and she continued to breastfeed mornings and evenings until she was 2. She managed perfectly fine on nursery days without bf.

I went back full time when DS1 was 7months and honestly it was hard but doable and easier than the part time hours I now do with 2 kids (due to being a taxi driver as the school we were given isn't close by and doesn't have suitable wrap round)
The first month was a killer whilst we both adjusted to routines but after that it was fine.
I find that now I am much more stressed as I never seem to be able to concentrate on just work or just family as I never have enough time for either. Part time is never really part time and I find it much harder to switch off.
Breastfeeding they will adjust. I think each kid is different so you never know. DS one dropped daytime no problem with just an morning/eve feed but he wasn't so bothered to start off with. DS2 massive boob monster but changed to bottles in the day without a hitch and now at 18mths I needed to stop BF so I could go back on my meds and he's fine. He loves milk but is happy enough now wherever it comes from. He now sleeps better as he knows he's not getting boob.

I went back full time 37.5 hours a week when DD was 11 months. Financially I Had to. She was in full time nursery and yea, it was a tricky transition for both of us at first, it worked out just fine. Many people do it. You will be fine.

I did.
Initially DS was supposed to go to a nursery close to my work. So, I would only drop off just before work and would collect straight after, as otherwise I'd have to pay for the commute time.
It also meant that I'd be able to pop out and breastfeed at least at lunch time.

It turned out that now exH got sick leave during my maternity leave and he ended up being a SAHP.

Will get home from work at 9.30 tonight due to client. Likely work over weekend too. Not sure when I’ll actually spend quality time with my kids this weekend. Then back to 5 long days again next week. Yep working full time is doable but it completely sucks sometimes. Would love reduced hours but it’s not permitted where I work.

I went back full time when each of my boys were about 8 months old.

No reason not to keep up a morning and bedtime breastfeed if you want to. I’m still feeding DS2 and he’s going to be 2 next week.

Regarding breastfeeding, I returned to work at 16 weeks. DS got a bottle in the middle of the day, and I breastfed the rest of the time, including full breastfeed on weekends. Two months later we introduced solids, and his last breastfeed was when he was about 13 months.

I went back full time but had accrued some annual leave whilst on mat leave so took a day a week leave for a couple of months which eased the settling in period a bit. I carried on breast feeding morning and night, he had formula in the day at nursery. It helped a lot the days DH could do the nursery morning drop-off, you will find your routine and it will work out fine. Good luck xxx

He had all his meals at nursery so snack if he wanted pre breakfast & likewise pre bed.

I bf on demand he fed during the day at weekends nursery taught him to eat properly & take a bottle!

Separate clothes I never get my least fave /2nd Hand stuff were spares then he worse whatever, yep they got dirty but hey they were his clothes why would I dress him in clothes I don't like!

1st 6 months were strange i wouldn't have made any career decisions then

It's totally doable, loads of people do it and the breastfeeding will be fine. However, I hope it's really necessary. It seems a very hard life and I totally understand if needs must but if they don't please think twice. Your DH needs to step up and also you need to be sure you are ok with not seeing your children much. Best of luck x

My child went to nursery one day a week and a family member for another day as I was lucky enough, despite being a single parent, to be able to work part time. I chose a nursery close to work as I wanted my child to be there for as short a time as possible. In my mind it always seems barbaric leaving little ones with people they don’t know and I hated it. I appreciate some don’t have the choice but if you do then my advice is spend as much time with your child as possible while they are little - they grow up too quickly and that time is precious. Having said that I do think it’s doable but it will be tough - on both of you

Barbaric you're crazy