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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Photos of ex-wife

208 replies

rightroyal · 30/10/2017 20:17

DP and I have been together three years. We visit his mum fairly regularly, she's very independent with a very busy life and is not a poor lonely widow.

DP was with his ex for 20+ years but their relationship broke down about 5 years ago.

Here's the AIBU. His mum has two very large photos of DP and his ex on the walls plus a selection of their wedding photos. One in the dining room I look at whilst enjoying a meal at her house.

AIBU to be pissed off by these pictures? Her house her rules I get it, but FFS!

OP posts:
QuackPorridgeBacon · 02/11/2017 23:11

I am sorry that you have miscarried and yes my comment may have been out of order. But your comment on children not being hurt were out of order. You need to learn how to accept others opinions even if they differ from your own otherwise do not ask for them. You are rude and need to understand that will make people less inclined to indulge in your wanting of answers and opinions.

winterisnigh · 02/11/2017 23:17

Tricky one my Mil has pictures of her dd wedding to man she knew for two years, married to for one, no dc and divorce at least ten years. However not one picture of dh wedding or me, the mother of their two grandchildren.

winterisnigh · 02/11/2017 23:18

We have been together for fifteen years

BlondeB83 · 02/11/2017 23:21

YANBU! There were two very obvious gaps on the wall the first time I visited my in laws house - it took a while for them to get used to the idea that the cheating ex (of 15 years) was gone but we got there eventually!

LagunaBubbles · 03/11/2017 07:54

I can only imagine how unpleasant that deleted comment was from the OP.

Original poster
rightroyal · 03/11/2017 19:23

It was simply stating a previous poster was a hypocrite, no more unpleasant than a great many of the comments I've received.

OP posts:
NameChangeFamousFolk · 03/11/2017 20:55

It was simply stating a previous poster was a hypocrite, no more unpleasant than a great many of the comments I've received

That is simply untrue. I reported it.

Your comment was atrociously rude and broke MN guidelines, which is why it was deleted.

Original poster
rightroyal · 03/11/2017 21:29

I'm afraid I wrote it and I know exactly what I wrote, you are lying!

OP posts:
Original poster
rightroyal · 03/11/2017 21:31

And I have now reported you for lying!

OP posts:
ReanimatedSGB · 03/11/2017 21:41

Get over yourself. Ok, your feelings are your feelings and, however ridiculous they are, they are your business but you don't get to go whining to other people that they need to remove pictures in their own homes because you object.

NameChangeFamousFolk · 03/11/2017 21:43

What? This is utterly bizarre. MN admin KNOW what you wrote. I do. So does anyone else who read it, for goodness sake.

Why on earth do you think it was deleted?

Sigh. You have now accused me of lying that your deleted post was horribly unpleasant, which is - of course - why it was deleted.

I could report you for that, but you know what? I'll let people make their own minds up.

Goshthatwentwell · 03/11/2017 21:54

Guessing RightRoyal is at the wine now...

But Op is it the fact they are wedding photos or that she still has photos of the ex that is annoying you?

SoupDragon · 03/11/2017 22:54

Does she have any of your wedding photos up?

OldWitch00 · 03/11/2017 23:00

3 years is a blip on the radar compared to 20. She may love the look her son has on his face, or remember the day perfectly. Your being insecure.

SandyY2K · 03/11/2017 23:42

I'm certain DP doesn't want to be reminded of her either

Then why doesn't he raise it with her?

SandyY2K · 03/11/2017 23:59

Does she have any of your wedding photos up?

They aren't married.

If my mum had pictures of an Ex up and it bothered me, I'd ask her to take it down .... and she would do so.

Perhaps it doesn't bother your DP as much as it bothers you.

QueenFlippyNips · 04/11/2017 00:16

My mum and dad still have a graduation picture of me and my ex (together for 4 years & split 6) on a shelf in their living room. They adore my current dp, but keep the photo on display because it was one of very few pictures taken on that day and they think I look a lot like my gran in it! :) My dp once brought it up but when I explained the reasoning he was grand, maybe you should just ask your dp about it, there's probably some harmless explanation

CherryChasingDotMuncher · 04/11/2017 00:30

MIL still has pics of ex-SIL and BIL up in her home, but only because when her DGD comes over she wants her to see that her mum is still a part of the family and thought of by MIL. Which I think is sweet (mind you BIL has remained single so if he ever meets anyone I’m not sure of this will change)

Whywonttheyletmeusemyusername · 04/11/2017 00:55

I don't think ur unreasonable at all op. My in-laws did this, and it upset me a lot. DH didn't say a word to his 'd'ps - he took the framed photo out their house and threw it. Immature? Yes, probably. Unbelievably satisfying? Yes, definitely Grin

QuackPorridgeBacon · 04/11/2017 14:27

You seem very childish op. Maybe they just don’t like you...

Cabininthewoods69 · 04/11/2017 15:05

I wouldnt be happy with it really and wouldnt expect my ex mil to still have photos of me up thats just strange and rather needy

Cabininthewoods69 · 04/11/2017 15:10

Why would it mean she isnt like?? What a nasty comment

gillybeanz · 04/11/2017 15:17

Your dp doesn't need reminding of her, he will think about her daily no doubt.
They were together for so long and it will be nice for the children to see photo's of their mum and Dad when they were happily together.
You sound jealous and not nice about the children.
Why would the dm take the photo's down, her dil might be a big part of her life.

Cabininthewoods69 · 04/11/2017 16:38

Already says shes not a big part of her life. There are a lot of people on mn that seem to think children from other relationships should rule the roost and dads new partners are jealous or childish or selfish. Feeling maybe a few had bad experiances or have daddy issues to be like this

SoupDragon · 04/11/2017 18:14

*They aren't married.^

The OP had another thread in September where she said she was married.

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