I'm telling him it's over today.

[bodytrappedmindnotstopped]

I’m saving me and my DC from this awful situation. Handhold please

OP, unless you or your children are in imminent danger, I would hold off leaving until you have a plan. Take your children out shopping today, and use that time to phone your parents, friends, etc. and set up your escape. (ONLY TELL PEOPLE YOU CAN TRUST TO KEEP THE PLAN A SECRET!! Do NOT tell your children!) Get your plan in place, get some support to help you and leave tonight or tomorrow. If he has a history of talking you around when you confront him, then you definitely need some support when you're leaving.

There are schools and jobs all over this country. Those are things that can be sorted out in time. The main question is, where will you and your children be safe? If his mother lives 5 mins away, then I'm not sure that is the best idea as he will be around and making a scene there (unless you can apply for a no contact order?)

That just seems so cruel

No. He's cruel. You aren't. He does not deserve any consideration from you. I daresay you've received none from him.

Leave when you go shopping and go to your parents'. Don't stay with your MIL - I don't think she would stop your husband if he insisted in coming in "to talk". You shouldn't be alone with him, and it can get very ugly.

You can negotiate with your husband from your parents' home via telephone, or, if he insists on coming, with your relatives supporting you. If he's a relatively good father, he should volunteer to leave the house. If not, you can find a rental relatively quickly. Your children's lives won't be that disrupted - if necessary, you could drive them to school from your parents' for some time until you find somewhere to live. One hour's drive is not that much.

Do whatever is the safest way for you and the kids. Just take this one step at a time, and don't put pressure on yourself to find all the answers. Getting to safety is the first step, everything else can slot into place after. Be kind to yourself, and just focus on what you need to do to get away. And stay safe. You can and will do this.

I'd go to your mums at first. Then if you're worried about school try his mum's?

I agree with others. Take them with you but go to the park or something. Don't got to his mum but go to yours. No matter how much his mum knows what he is like, he is still her son and her priority.

You can do This!!

Wishing you all the luck in the world my daughter was in an abusive relationship kept accepting apologies till it got to stage he stabbed her .she still had him back wasn't till he caused her yo have a miscarriage she found the courage yo leave hope all goes well for you and your children xxx

I hope that you get the courage to do it and that you and your dc can move on positively.

My dear friend tried doing this but had to go back as she (understandably) couldn't think straight enough to make a plan. Her partner is now pretending nothing ever happened and will doubtless turn nasty yet again. Makes me so sad and frustrated for her and her children.

Any decent head teacher will listen to you and help in any way they can but do remember that if your partner has parental responsibility then the school cannot stop him picking them up from school.

Unsure of DC ages. But am sure with a phone call the school would both understand, and forward some homework etc if they are of an age where they would need to keep up.

A happy home is much more important than a week or two off school.

Try make it some form of adventure for DC so their worry doesn't sway you to going home. an exciting week at grandmas!

Wishing you the best of luck OP.

Please be safe. You can contact the school and explain; don't worry about the little things right now. Your collective safety is the most important. Go to YOUR Mum's you're her priority. He is his Mum's. She may not stop him from coming in and he may react badly to you "trying to turn his Mum against him". Holding your hand and wishing you all the best

Are you OK OP?

I’m ok. I’m at his mums

Call your parents and let them know what's happening, OP. You need support.

Well done for getting this far OP! I hope your MIL is being supportive but I would second contacting your parents and letting them know what is happening.

Who usually collects the children from school? Are they on half term this week? Just wondering if he would try to collect them from school and take them? Might be worth letting school.know what's happenih.

I hope his mum is being supportive. Please do contact your mum too, you need someone who is totally supportive of you.

I'm glad you've gone. As supportive as his mum is being right now, remember that she is his mum and when push comes to shove (especially if he threatens her access to DGC) she will probably side with him or at the very least counsel 'working things out'. Contact your own parents asap and get support from them for staying strong and a possible move to their home.

She was very supportive. She said that my DC are her priority and that wants her grandchildren are happy and safe. She even said ‘How many more times can you temporarily sort things out for it to keep coming back to this point?’ And encouraged me to really think about the situation. She even said as much as she loves him (her son) she doesn’t know how I put up with his negativity. For now I’m back at home. Partner is unaware of my conversation with his mum. I’m planning on talking to him tonight and telling him how I feel. Now I’ve told someone I feel less vulnerable and a bit stronger. My DC will go to school and I may take some time off work to sort my head out.

And ‘getaway’ bag has remained in my car.

Thank you. Support from complete strangers somehow means so much to me.

Would you be able to talk to woman's aid, use their 24 hour free helpline, as they are brilliant and best placed to give advice

@ShinyStella What sort of advice do they give?

They can advise you on how to keep your children and you safe, which is the number one priority here

Just spoke to my mum. She advised to keep a log of every incident which I find unacceptable and upsetting.

Why is that unacceptable and upsetting?

The purpose is to back up your claims that your DH has behaved in an acceptable and upsetting way. And that's true, isn't it?

Her mum means keep a record of upsetting incidents.

Gentle tone here: What is the purpose of such a log?