I'm telling him it's over today.

[bodytrappedmindnotstopped]

I’m saving me and my DC from this awful situation. Handhold please

Have you got some money and all your important documents, photos, passports somewhere safe?

Do you have copies of his income etc.

Make sure he doesn't empty or block any joint bank accounts. Does child benefit come to you?

Look at your children and focus on them. You're doing it to make them secure and happy. His Mum will understand this angle? (Just thinking of the most simple way to talk to her)

Oh I just want to wish you luck and strength today OP

Also, be completely unambiguous.

We ARE separating.
One of us is leaving the house today.
It would be better for the children for you to leave.
If you refuse to leave, I WILL do so.

Don't engage in 'want' or 'would like'.

If you need to work to support your children, could you find work near your parents? Moving there might be your best bet if he won't leave your house. Take your children to his mum, then tell him to leave your house. If he will do, you can keep school and work as before. If not, leaving the area might be the least worst alternative
Big hand hold from here

you said his mums knows what hes like? so are you able to tell her what your doing,be honest with her why she needs to take the kids? will she deff side with you and dh wont be able to contact her to keep kids from you?
could you stay with a friend?
could u talk to ur mum and dad?ask them to come stay with you.
even get his mum to come stay with you?
if not could you just say "lots to do now we are back,anyway you can have kids for an hour".
or even ask them to come round.have them there as you saying it,the kids can always be in another room. that way she can be a support and take dh away if she needs to step in?

Rolling contract is good. So either way you can get out if it.

Do as others have advised. Be firm and non-ambiguous. Have bags packed ready for you to go. Have all documentation ready to take.

It may be that you need time to prepare and so can't so it today.

Don't go to his Mum's. Go to yours, or a shelter if you need to. His mother may still have loyalty with him and you don't want to get into a worse situation. Good luck!!!

Good luck. I took my children and left my abusive husband 2 months ago and was happier the very same day! The support I got on mumsnet gave me the courage to do it and stick with it. You're very brave and doing the best thing for your children. Hope it all goes ok, keep us posted xx

What @PumpkinPie said is very good: Don't worry about how to start the conversation - just say 'I've decided to leave X ' the rest will follow from there. If you want a lead in to that, you can start by saying, "Listen, the DC and I need you for a couple days..."

If you think he will be monstrous about it when you tell him, then maybe text her now, before you get home. Perhaps arrange it so that she's there when you tell him. Maybe she can keep him from verbally abusing you, and if not, then she will see just how bad he can be.

Then, if you need to, or if you get annoyed with her while you're at hers, or if she for some reason decides to take too much pity on him, then you can all go to your mums. It's not far, really. And you've got a good lead and time to make preparations from his mum's if you need to.

Good luck, and here is my handhold, @bodytrapped. You've got this. It sounds like you've got a good, solid plan and IRL support to boot. That's a damn sight more than a lot of us ever had in your position, and we made it through and here we are. His mum knows what he's like, and she will listen to you, even if it were only for the sake of her DGC. You've got this.

You'll be okay - and better, in fact - very soon, and your DC will be okay.

Good luck, love. We'll be right here if you need us.

"To kick him out change the locks while he’s out, pack his stuff ready,"

That is always really bad advice. He can gain access if he has a right to live in the house and he can get Police support to do so. For some men this will give them the excuse to kick the door in, or at least make the Woman look like the unreasonable one.

OP you don't have to take him being aggressive, he can be removed for 'just' threatening behaviour. have your phone on and have an arrangement if you send "Help" to someone they need to phone the Police for you, you can put it in your saved messages so you don't even have to type it.

He is fucking the kids up, but you are saving their (and your own ) mental and physical health.

I agree to just tell his Mum honestly what is happening and why,.

If she doesn't like the truth about her son, tough, your children come before her abusive Adult child.

We are home. Deep breaths. I’m going to give my mum a call. She knows how close I’ve been to ending it before so I want to see what she says. I was being hasty earlier because I was so upset. I need to make a plan. All I want to do is go and stay with my parents for the short term and take the DC but I’m worried about them missing school. I don’t know what I want to do/ where to base myself and DC mid or long term. I don’t want to take y DC away from everything they know and set them up somewhere else. Please help me

We'll done and good luck

I did it a week ago and I already feel like a different person

Ask your parents to come over. You don't have to do this on your own.

You don't have to think long term yet, just get yourself and your dc out asap. Missing a bit of school short-term is better than fucking them up long term...

I agree, missing a bit of school won't hurt, losing your job might if you need to work to support the children. If you go to your mum's with the children make sure you take important documents with you.

Good luck OP. You're doing the right thing.

It's not going to be easy, but long term you know it's the right thing to do as you and your DC can't go on like this. They'll be a lot to sort out but it'll all work out for you and your DC wherever you're based. If you end up back with your parents temporarily your DC may be able to to go to a local school while you work out where to be. As others have said, put useful documents aside, if you can get access to any money that'll help as well.

We’re home and he’s gone out to sort something out on the car. If I leave I need to leave now. Currently sat in my bedroom debating what to do. I can call work- they’d understand.

Go. Just GO.

Please.

Don't think next year, think next week. Then next week, think week after.

Please be safe.

Go. Nothing is insurmountable, you have support. You don't want to be with him so go, nothing will improve until you take charge of your own life. Go go go!

If it was just me I’d have gone by now. Its the though of upsetting the children that’s stopping me. That’s it. Nothing else.

I’m going to pack a bag and put it in my car.

I would go to your parents. School will understand and hopefully be supportive (mine were in similar circumstances).

With being on a rolling rent contract you can potentially quite quickly move to a new place of your own near their school if you want to stay in the area, or if you decide to relocate then that’s fine too.

Most important thing is to go NOW. All these other decisions can be taken later, with the benefit of support from your parents as well.