Tattoos

[DaisyRaine90]

DP doesn’t want me to get any more (I have 3 In discreet places)

I want a cuff tattoo to cover self harm scars and a Phoenix to symbolise me rising from the ashes on my back.

Would I be U to get them done anyway even though he doesn’t want me to?

And AIBU to have one in a visible place (cuff)
Would it be better to have a tattoo or self harm scars on show?

I might enter a social work or academic profession and would like to run a shop one day. Would a tattoo hold me back at all or are we in a modern era?

I already had the tattoos before we met (and the two planned which I wanted)

Do you have tattoos? Do you regret them? Has it affected your work in anyway?

Thanks 😊

[Albadross]

Oh FFs - hugged, not Hughes!

[Albadross]

Oh and it’s perfectly possible for even very large scars to be well covered. I had no untouched skin on either arm before and nobody has noticed the texture is slightly different. A decade on and they still look so much better than having a constant reminder of the hell I went through when I was cutting myself thirty times a day.

[chickensaresafehere]

I have Phoenix on my back!! And a full sleeve & other leg/arm tattoos.
I work in a local brewery,so doesn't affect my job as it sort of fits in
My dh on the other hand,has no tattoos at all but really loves mine.

[wheresmycake]

I work in HR in education and my Manager frequently mentally dismisses candidates and advises hiring managers against offering them the job based on the fact they are dressed very oddly / have hair dyed a weird colour (bright pink or blue for example). She would likely do the same if they had visible tattoos. I in NO WAY agree with her but have to bite my tongue.... Basically, however unjustified they may be, people will judge. All very well to say you wouldn't want to work somewhere you would be judged for your tattoos/weird hair etc but that's your choice to limit your potential career options

[RebelRogue]

@chickensaresafehere wow that is amazing!!!!

I don’t like colour on my ones but love looking at others.

[chickensaresafehere]

Thanks Rebel

[MrsEight]

I work in Children’s Services and know plenty of Social Workers with tatoos including senior managers.

[speakout]

chickensaresafehere Sorry but that looks like body mutilation.
I hate tattos.

My late husband had medically necessary tattoos and he hated them

[ContessaBonessa]

Your body so your decision. But for example, I really hate neck tattoos and would be a bit put out out if my partner went ahead and got a neck tattoo despite knowing it's something I'd really dislike.

[Ttbb]

YANBU to do what you want with your body however you run a real risk by having visible tattoos re employment and life opportunities in general (as exemplified by your DPs reaction). Generally most people would accept that your a free to do whatever you want with your body but you are still expect to look presentable in whatever situation you find yourself. There are many situations where tattoos are not presentable for example in a professional situation as you have identified or in some social circles (although why would you want to associate with such a crowd in the first place?). Let's put it this way, visit blue tattoos show either a lack of judgment (not forseeing that they might hold you back) or a lack of self confidence (never expecting to find yourself in an environment where it would matter). Self harm scars on the other hand just reveal past struggles with mental health (sonething that is widely accepted and respected these days). As a general rule, if you have doubts about sonething (whether it is tattoos or your relationship) probably best not to do it until you are sure.

[JacquesHammer]

Sorry but that looks like body mutilation

Of course it does. That's what tattoos are beautiful, intense, representative modification done with absolute consent.

i hate tattoos

Don't get one

Chicken that's absolutely stunning. So intricate

[RebelRogue]

My phoenix

[BlessYourCottonSocks]

I've worked in state secondary schools, including some in very challenging areas with challenging pupils, for the last 30 years.

I have never worked with a 'heavily tattooed' colleague. I've worked with a few folks who have had the odd tattoo and they have generally been expected to cover it. I don't have particularly strong feelings one way or the other towards them, but I do think visible tattoos would sway the interview board against you unless you were much better than the other candidates in many cases. Governors/head teachers tend to be mostly conservative and teachers are expected to set a shining example ! For many Heads that means not 'encouraging' teenagers to see getting a tattoo as cool.

[NotTheDuchessOfCambridge]

speakout I would probably hate medically necessary tattoos too b cause of the reason for them . The ones I have though are chosen and beautiful to me. My dad has a medically necessary tattoo, he said it’s not likely he’ll be getting any others anytime soon as even the dots hurt too much!

[stevie69]

My employer would frown upon visible tattoos. DH's employer wouldn't give a fuck. Yes they can hold you back. There is no point in arguing this. It is still your body and your choiice.

I think the above is absolutely spot on. I'm a chartered accountant. No tattoos but a couple of very cute facial piercings (aquamarine nostril stud and a blue opal Medusa) and a very funky hair design. My current employer is fine, as are many other organisations in the same sector (education, charities and so on). However, employment agencies won't send me out to interview at an accountancy firm or a law firm, for example.

Be that right or wrong, fair or unfair, that's how it is. If I want to work in the professions, I need to get my hair back into some sort of conventional cut and remove my piercings. For the time being, that isn't going to happen

[Bearberry]

Work for the NHS and have several tattoos although all are easy enough to hide if needed. I know several doctors, nurses, dieticians, pysio's, OTs and psychologists who have visible tattoos (including full sleeves and facial tattoos.)

Never personally had any comment on my tattoos at work.

[AccidentalyRunToWindsor]

Not up to your OH. I want my septum pierced which he doesn’t like but he accepted if I do then it’s my bid, my choice.

I work in recruitment in a corporate environment (FTSE100 company) we don’t really care are tattoos, least of all ones on wrists. Times move on.

[CheckpointCharlie2]

I'm a teacher and have just booked myself in for a biggie on my forearm in December, DH not keen but he has a quarter sleeve so can shut it! One of my schools doesn't like me having my other tattoo on show but the other doesn't care, I don't really care anymore, am pretty sure they can't sack me!

[LemonShark]

I've met very few social workers without tattoos.

I'm in the field for nhs and have tattoos, nose ring, dyed black hair, never been a problem. I choose to cover my tattoos with patients as they're distracting and spark convo which then becomes about me (they're meaningful ones with deep stories as opposed to just decorative).

If they're just decorative like flowers or butterflies or stars (trying to think of stereotypical types of tattoos) then even on wrist it'll be fine as there's not much to say when it's clear what they are!

I'd say it's your body so do what you wish, just don't expect DP to like them.

I also have many self harm scars but luckily they're not very visible usually. If they were I'd much rather cover with a tattoo if I was going to be exposing the area to clients at work.

[Goshthatwentwell]

You sure you are well enough to have tatoo's though? It sounds like you still have issues.
Perhaps get the career first and then get the Phoenix as a reward for actually getting yourself sorted,

[Skarossinkplunger]

A visible tattoo will not affect your social work career.

[TheHeraldOfAndraste]

Chickens I'm like Rebel. Mine are blackwork but I love seeing vividly coloured ones just for the artistry. Your phoenix is beautiful. How long did it take?

And I think the cuff OP linked to is very nice.

[Sn0tnose]

I have none on my hands, chest, neck or face, but have a sleeve, a half sleeve, a back piece and loads everywhere else, which is fine in my office. I'm a non public facing professional and I've never had any negative comments but I'm very aware that I need to cover up on occasion. I love them. I've never regretted any of them. I'm planning more and I think that if I get to 70 odd and my biggest concern is what my skin looks like, then I shall count myself very lucky indeed.

I think a cuff would be beautiful although you might regret it when the artist is on the inside of your wrist; it hurts like you wouldn't believe!

I wouldn't choose not to have them because my partner hated them (my un-tattooed DH loves them and follows various artists on social media) but I have seen relationships break down because of this. It's your body and you can do what you like with it, but fancying people is all subjective.

Sadly, I don't think we are in an era where those with tattoos aren't judged unfairly looking at you, MIL but bugger them.

[Milkandtwosugars]

I have a half Disney sleeve, a big Disney one on the opposite forearm which also has 2 smaller ones on it.

One word on my collarbone, one on my thigh, one on my hip bones, one on my back and one on my foot.

My DH has no tattoos because he’s a chicken. He’s terrified of it hurting - which suits me because I can get them instead haha.

He isn’t majorly keen on them but I have a Marvel one which he loves.

My tattoos have never stopped me getting a job, as they could be covered up with a cardigan or shirt.
In my last job, they didn’t care. So I was able to have my tattoos out and it didn’t matter. Customers didn’t bat an eyelid - I used to get a lot of comments on them.

If you want them - do it!