To expect him to sort his own drunk mess out

[G1988]

My dp went out and got very drunk. At 4.00 in the morning he decided to use our bedroom as a toilet and had a wee! He obviously didn't do it on purpose but it was against my chest of drawers and it went through and got half of my clothes wet. He then got back in bed and passed out. So at 4.00am I, at 29 weeks pregnant, end up putting towels down to soak it all up, pulling my clothes out to stop the rest getting affected and mopping up in the drawers.

I went out the next day and asked him to actually clean everything and wash my clothes. He did the clothes but not the cleaning. I ended up cleaning everything the following morning so I didn't have to keep walking through it and so the rest of my clothes didn't get affected by the smell.

He later apologised, acknowledged he should have done It and we moved on.

One week later he finally takes my clothes off the airer and leaves them on the bed for me to put away. I asked if he was going to do it and he said no for two reasons.

1. It was a mix of my normal clothes and maternity clothes so he wouldn't put them back in the right place.
   

1. He was doing other house work quickly before we went out.
   

AIBU to be annoyed that I've got to put the clothes away so I've been impacted by his drunk actions

[Henrythehoover]

My first boyfriend used to do this when I was pregnant with dd he peed on the sofa and in a wardrobe. I kicked him out after the third time when he pissed the bed ( while I was asleep). It's fucking disgusting and you really need to raise your standards. I used to make all the excuses in the world for him but there is a limit plus the fact my house smelt like a public toilet. I had to replace the furniture when he left.

[Candlelight234]

He should have cleaned it all up as soon as he was capable, washed & dried your clothes, and put them back pronto.
As a PP said why is he not cringing in shame?? Instead he's argueing with you about it
I have a feeling this isn't going to get better for you.

[SonicBoomBoom]

Where are all these men that piss in the bedroom when drunk.

I have only ever heard of these men on mumsnet. Thank Fuck.

[BWatchWatcher]

Eugh

[Cambionome]

He thinks you are being condescending for saying his behaviour was disgusting???! He was totally, totally disgusting and any right minded person would think so.

What the actual fuck is wrong with him?

You need to seriously find your anger here, op. Imagine if he decides to get that drunk when you have a new born, and you are trying to look after a tiny baby AND cleaning up a grown man's piss!

[lunar1]

I can’t imagine a scenario where he thinks is ok that you had anything to do with cleaning this up. Has he ever done anything like this before?

If this is anything other than a first offence he’d be a single man. No way would I be bringing a new baby into this situation.

[RedBlackberries]

To answer a few posters, men do, do this. It's gross don't get me wrong but it's not unheard of. Dh used to on a few occasions but he got his act together and hasn't for a while now.

Sounds like he tried to do right by cleaning all the clothes and saying sorry. I wouldn't get too hung up on him not putting them away because hedbdo it wrong!!

[RJnomore1]

How can you be sure he wouldn't piss on the cot?

Does he drink often?

His attitude now is actually even worse than the event itself IMO.

[Cambionome]

Jesus, RedBlackberries your standards are low...

[JigglyTuff]

I have known men do this Red. When I was a student. Not when they’re in a LTR with a woman expecting their baby

[RJnomore1]

Men do do this

Yeah my MILs alcoholic selfish waste of space last husband certainly did, including in my dhs cupboard when he was a teenager.

My dh doesn't and never has done this. He might get drunk but he retains a bit of respect for himself, his family and his belongings.

They're not cats. They don't need territorial pissings. I get so angry when I see excuses made for dirty disrespectful behaviour

AAARGH😤

[JigglyTuff]

Oh and they were utterly mortified afterwards and certainly didn’t expect anyone to clean up their piss

[TheFairyCaravan]

Men do this? Not in my life they fucking don't.

If DH did this he wouldn't have passed out on the bed after he'd have had the bucket and disinfectant in his hand cleaning it, right there and then.

Why do some women tolerate such shitty behaviour? I just couldn't. Even my sons (20&22) would never do this.

[RedBlackberries]

I'm not the spokeswoman for pissing men!!

I think it's disgusting but it happens. I used to accept it but I've got higher standards these days. Dh pissed all over a dress a was meant to wear to a wedding the next morning once. That was a last straw kind of moment because we were at my mums and I had nothing else to wear

[whoareyoukidding]

This sounds to me like the actions of an alcoholic. I would insist that he gets help with his problem, OP.

[HeteronormativeHaybales]

'Men do do this.'

How come women don't?

In vino bloody veritas. Ugh. Who do these men think they are?

[phoenix1973]

Dont expect him to share in child rearing drudge jobs. Im sorry youre with this pig.

[SabineUndine]

The fact that he apologised doesn’t excuse ANYTHING. He should have cleaned up and put everything straight and spent his booze money for the next year on you by way of apology.

[Ineedmorelemonpledge]

* Oh don't get me wrong, we rowed about it last weekend too but that got sorted when he apologised.*

He actually had the audacity to argue back with you about this?

[SpotAGuillemot]

It never fails to amaze me how low some people have their standards. The shrug, the 'men do this', sigh and clean it up. They aren't dogs ffs, they are toilet trained human beings who think so little of you they feel it's acceptable to PISS on your belongings.

[SpotAGuillemot]

redblackberries he pissed on your dress when you were staying at your mums . Wtf did you say to your mum when she asked why her spare room smelt of piss?!

[RedBlackberries]

I was so embarrassed I cleaned it all up before anyone was awake and put the dress on a 20 minute cycle.

And febreezrd the fuck out of the room.

[MrsDustyBusty]

It is disgusting. The fact that he thinks it's condescending of you to describe it as such implies that he's far too accustomed to doing it.

How will he feel when your child mentions this habit at school? I promise you, they tell teacher everything.

[Zaphodsotherhead]

I have been with many men in my considerable number of years, some of them complete fuckwits.

But NOT ONE has ever got so drunk that he pissed in the bedroom. Is, maybe, the fact that you are pregnant making you tolerate things that, in an unpregnant state, would have had you throwing the tosser out of the house, OP?