To expect him to sort his own drunk mess out

[G1988]

My dp went out and got very drunk. At 4.00 in the morning he decided to use our bedroom as a toilet and had a wee! He obviously didn't do it on purpose but it was against my chest of drawers and it went through and got half of my clothes wet. He then got back in bed and passed out. So at 4.00am I, at 29 weeks pregnant, end up putting towels down to soak it all up, pulling my clothes out to stop the rest getting affected and mopping up in the drawers.

I went out the next day and asked him to actually clean everything and wash my clothes. He did the clothes but not the cleaning. I ended up cleaning everything the following morning so I didn't have to keep walking through it and so the rest of my clothes didn't get affected by the smell.

He later apologised, acknowledged he should have done It and we moved on.

One week later he finally takes my clothes off the airer and leaves them on the bed for me to put away. I asked if he was going to do it and he said no for two reasons.

1. It was a mix of my normal clothes and maternity clothes so he wouldn't put them back in the right place.
   

1. He was doing other house work quickly before we went out.
   

AIBU to be annoyed that I've got to put the clothes away so I've been impacted by his drunk actions

[BWatchWatcher]

How about this, he pissed all over your things and basically treated your possessions as a toilet.
He was then not mature enough to do the hard work of cleaning the carpet etc. And expected his pregnant partner to clean up his piss from her things when he is able bodied.
This treatment basically turns you from an equal partner into a piss tidying skivvy.

[TheDodgyEnd]

When I was backpacking round Australia and staying in a hostel with bunk beds, a random guy who was wasted got up and pissed all over the girl in the bunk below him who he didn’t know at all. The next morning he was absolutely mortified, apologised profusely, cleaned everything and spent his whole days food money on buying her flowers, chocolates and other treats.
So an 18 year old stranger had more manners and felt more shame than your fella.

[Sprinklestar]

LTB. What a disgusting environment to bring a baby into.

[Candlelight234]

Tell him you are not fucking reading that bullshit link. He needs to express his sorry he is for pudding all over your clothes.
YOuve got your work cut out with him Op

[C0untDucku1a]

OMG what a cock!

Send your own article back!

www.netdoctor.co.uk/ask-the-expert/a4117/after-drinking-i-urinate-around-the-house/

[ShoesHaveSouls]

AH, so now he's trying to blame your 'womanly emotions' for your reaction to this?

Ask him what he thinks would happen to him if he drunkenly pissed all over a man's clothes?

[BewareOfDragons]

His link is garbage.

You're rightfully upset because he made his very pregnant partner get down on her hands and knees and clean up his piss from the carpet, the furniture, etc. And you had to tell him to clean your clothes, and he couldn't even finish that job!

He should have been up first thing sorting it all out all by himself, reconsidering his drinking entirely, and making up for it all for the rest of the day.

None of that happened: he did some of the clean up, then felt absolved. Pointed at other things he cleaned up, all while expecting his pregnant partner to literally clean up his piss.

Wanker.

[ShoesHaveSouls]

And yes, send C0unt's article right back to him.

[G1988]

@ Sprinklestar and StinkPickle thanks for your helpful comments you nasty people!
I am where I find myself through no fault of my own and now I'll just add stressing about being a crap mum for bringing a baby into this environment on to my existing stress.

I hope you and your perfect lives have a great Sunday!!

[Greyponcho]

You can’t articulate why it upsets you - ask yourself ‘why’ six times to get to the underlying reasons.
Example:
You’re upset because he didn’t put the clothes away
Why? Because they shouldn’t need to be put away
Why? Because they were clean before he pissed on them and had to be cleaned again
Why? He got steaming drunk and seemingly showed no respect for your stuff
Why? His lack of respect is matched by his attitude of not accepting responsibility for his actions
Why? Because he should have apologised, not argued, and made cleaning up/rectifying the situation a priority
Why? Because you’re so darn tired growing a human inside you and anaemic that you don’t have the mental energy to keep arguing or physical energy to tidy up after the man child.

[expatinscotland]

He's setting you up for the World According to Him. He, the mighty peen, you, the little woman. Everything you voice he disregards as he has compartmentalised it all into 'womanly emotions', and therefore no need to respect it as women don't matter as much as men since they are 'emotional' and 'hormonal'. He doesn't see you as an equal to him.

'Ask him what he thinks would happen to him if he drunkenly pissed all over a man's clothes?'

This!

[Oblomov17]

I’ve read loads of threads over the years Re men who get so pissed that they piss in the bedroom/bed/wardrobe etc. WTF? That’s a problem.

[C0untDucku1a]

OP i think they were hoping youd find the strength to leave him as on here we are Objective and can see his disrespect, rather than saying it is your fault. It of course isnt your fault. It is his. And he doesn care.

[Greyponcho]

Is this his first DC?
Is there a chance he’s worried about not having ‘any more fun’ once DC arrives, or does he feel like he’s been doing enough hard work around the house already?
You know your DH... if this is his ‘first offence’ of that nature or whether it’s a habit. A first offence may be forgivable if he promises it’s also the last.
Also, I suspect that one day, when he’s scrubbing DCs vomit/poop/whatever out of the carpet, you may get a more heartfelt apology.

[keepcalmandfuckon]

I have weak muscles from children and surgery. I’ve never pissed myself when drunk.
If he’s in the mood for sending links, send him one to this thread.
If you’re reading this OP’s ‘d’h, you’re a pig.

[Whitecurrants]

Is this him?

[Nancy91]

I have got absolutely wrecked on nights out before, but I have never pissed all over the furniture. I just don't get why you would do that. Was it definitely just drink?

Really disgusting, I would ask him to buy you some new clothes and to sleep at a friend's place next time he's wasted.

[altkat]

That link is the most incredible shite. An entire article about why women feel things. WITHOUT A SINGLE WOMAN BEING ASKED TO WEIGH IN.

"How can I, a man, possibly understand something as complex as a woman? Let me ask my male friend. And refer to 'my woman' while I'm doing it."

I'd point out, OP, that you are articulating yourself. He's choosing to decide that you can't possibly mean what you are saying because then he would be at fault. You must mean other, possibly hormonal things.

God that article gave me the rage.

[pictish]

I must say, pretty much all of the women I'm friendly with and know well make no bones about their feelings and opinions and why they have them. They are straight up and articulate with little room for misunderstanding. You know...like people often are.
Claiming that our emotions are a mystery to fathom out is a complete cop out. He can stuff that nonsense up his bum. It's disingenuous and designed to shift the focus from being on his actual behaviour and on to your complexity. It's not complex...he has been a dirty, lazy arse and pissed you off. He needs to own it, not discuss how 'emotional' you are, the manipulative shit.

[PickAChew]

Gawd what a tedious bit of mansplaining that blog post is.

Put less verbosely, your H is "sorry" that you were upset because it was rather inconvenient for him rather than sorry that he upset you.

[missevelina]

Am I seriously the only one that thinks the OP is massively overreacting?!

How are you even still arguing abut this 1 week later OP??

You said it was the first time he's done something like that and he washed your clothes...if it stays a one off, no harm done!

If something like this can cause a weeks worth of arguments, I'm guessing your relationship has other issues you might need to address before the little one arrives.

[Cambionome]

I think she is massively underreacting.

[RJnomore1]

I agree with cambio.

[roundaboutthetown]

Personally, I would open the drawers with his clothes in, piss all over them and then leave him to clear up the mess while I had a snooze.

[SilverySurfer]

So what happens the next time he gets drunk out of his skull and he pisses over the cot and the baby? What does it take for you to find his behaviour utterly unacceptable. I really hope you raise your bar of expectation because currently its at rock bottom.

missevelina
Am I seriously the only one that thinks the OP is massively overreacting?!

WTF? Yes you seriously are