To be unhappy that this story about me has emerged

[Inkandbone]

Quite a while ago now, I did something wrong (nothing criminal) and because it was conceded the circumstances had been difficult I sort of got off quite lightly. No more was really said about it.

Until now when someone I knew then has told some people I know now.

It's not very rational,but I'm embarrassed and upset.

I guess typing it makes me realise there's nothing much I can do, but aibu for feeling this way?

It's not important what the event was, or what the silly cow has to say about it. If anyone asks you about it, just say that everyone makes mistakes when they're young and laugh it off.
Really, if it was just something embarrassing, people have done terrible terrible things and moved on. Just blank that bitch. Your real friends won't care about what she says, and everyone else will soon work out what a nasty piece of work she is.

A fight?
That is nothing OP
Really, don't worry

Got into a bit of a fight

In that case let her know there are two sides to every story - and make sure the gossip knows your side

A fight? Oh well that’s easy. If anyone asks you about it you just say “oh that? Yeah, cunt deserved it.” And smile.

at NoCry

Ignore. Ignore. Ignore. Just don’t bother doing, saying, fixing anything. It will go away. It’s yesterday’s chip papers already now. Even if it has a bit of extra gossip factor for a day or two than the usual chit chat in the nursery or whatever.... whatever! It’s done, literally ignore the whole thing and make a mental list of things that make you happy. Or an “at least I didn’t do x,y,z...” list.

Nobody is perfect. I bet this woman has the odd skeleton in her closet herself.

I think the person you know has too much time on their hands.

Physical or verbal fight?

I might nocry!

What, a physical fight?

Yes ... It was a LONG time ago.

That she gossiped about you and then told you she did makes her a a cow unless the incident isn't as big a deal as you are making out.

If it's something most people would obviously know you'd be genuinely embarrassed about then she is being very nasty and YANBU.

Don't let her see you care and if anyone asks you about it laugh it off. People listen to gossips but rarely believe them and never respect them

A fight? Is that it? No-one would remotely give a crap about that. Let it go.

Just read more. The woman is being a cow but no one will care about a fight. Unless you stabbed someone no one will bat an eye

Never complain, never explain 💪🏼

Honestly, just ignore.

Years ago NOTW printed I was going out with a very famous singer. My family got harassed to death but I'd never even met the bloody man.

I still remember threatening to sue them then putting down the phone and laughing (I had no intention of doing so, I just wanted to put the wind up them and make them think twice about their 'stories').

No wonder they folded.

She sounds a right cow. A shit stirrer. A gossip.

Everyone’s done daft things in their yoof

Surely fighting someone is criminal?

I imagine you feel like that you have to be some sort of saint to be a good parent? Fwiw my mum was a bit of a fighter as a girl (tough town) and it makes me cry laughing at what she got up to!

She once passed a woman (also elderly, respectable looking) and announced that the last time she saw her they were fighting! You wouldn't believe it if you met my mum! She also jokes about how she used to adjust her rings to make more of an impact . Like I say, she came from a tough town!

Have you asked her why she felt the need to gossip about you?
I disagree that people need salacious details to give you advice, it's not that hard to work out generic advice on an embarrassing story that's cropped up from your past.

But I also agree with the poster who came up with a narrative with their therapist - work out a way to both explain and shut down further discussion, should anyone actually ask you about it.
If they don't ask you then all you can do is stop worrying about it, because it's not a good idea to say to people "Oh if you've heard X about me, then this is why..." because why advertise it if they haven't already heard?

But have a spiel ready to go, in case someone does ask you. And then hopefully that will get fed back to anyone else who might have heard.

And don't tell that particular "friend" anything you wouldn't want everyone to know ever again!

We all (or most) do things when younger we cringe about. You regret it now, whilst embarrassing, worst case is some Mums think you're super tough.

It's hard, try and let it wash over you.

Remember the world is full of dicks who think life is a game of one upmanship. It was exciting gossip for a few days, but they'll understand that we all do random stuff, you're settled with a DC, not a pro boxing champion.

Pity this woman for thinking spilling the beans was the right thing to do. She must lead a really boring life.

Keep smiling OP, it looks worse on her than you.

Like you said in your OP, circumstances were difficult.

Everybody reacts to things differently, but I suspect many of us have a point of provocation at which we’d snap and take a swing at someone. More so, if drink is involved.