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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to think a 2 and 5 year old will be fine being vegan for one lunch?

450 replies

mauricesom · 27/10/2017 09:46

It's my birthday next week and I've booked somewhere nice that does a vegan high tea. I've invited my daughter (veggie) and her two sons 7 and 5.

I've booked us all for the vegan high tea but daughter says the children will need ham and cheese else they won't eat it. As I'm paying for it I don't really want to buy things I'm ethically apposed to.

Aibu to think they will be fine with hummus and carrot sandwiches for one meal? They both eat food like that at my house without any issues.

OP posts:
PurpleDaisies · 27/10/2017 14:13

Did you miss the sarcasm there *granny^?

sinceyouask · 27/10/2017 14:21

grannytomine Fri 27-Oct-17 13:52:46
I'm sure they will survive, on the other hand if you are invited to their meat eaters birthday tea would you eat a ham sandwich?

Um, what? Are you actually this challenged, or are you trying to be funny?

gameoflife · 27/10/2017 14:23

In my house you eat what I offer, unless of course it will make you unwell.

I can't imagine being so rude that I rock up to someone's party and complain if they hadn't catered for my dietary whims, and my children wouldn't be allowed to behave in that way either.

I assume at her house you respect her values, and don't prioritise yours over her hospitality? You don't insist she cooks special cakes for you etc? If you do, then she might be trying to make a point. If you don't then she is being rude. And of course Non allergy children can eat vegan/what they are given, for one meal, without harming them.

Billben · 27/10/2017 14:23

I can't get over the fact that your daughter is a veggie but still gives her kids ham!

Really? I eat meat cos I like meat but if my husband turned vegetarian tomorrow and tried to change our children's diet to a vegetarian one, he would be told to jog on.

BarbaraofSevillle · 27/10/2017 14:23

Eh? In what world is an omnivore eating a vegan meal when at a vegan's birthday celebration in any way equivalent to a vegan eating a ham sandwich because the host is a meat eater?

BoudicasBoudoir · 27/10/2017 14:27

I still want to know whether we're talking about afternoon tea or high tea... they aren't the same thing.
Grin

2014newme · 27/10/2017 14:30

@BoudicasBoudoir i assume afternoon tea as op mentions cakes and sandwiches and very few places do high tea, if anywhere, I've never seen it on a menu.

TheLittleShirt · 27/10/2017 14:31

Vegetarian/ vegan food is suitable for eveybody( allergies excluded) but food containing meat / animal products is not suitable for all. Before you all start arguing ,when I say suitable I mean that it does not contain anything that they cannot eat. The fact that it does not contain something that they would LIKE to eat is irrelevant. There is plenty of choice in a vegan restaurant your dd is being ridiculous. As a meat eater I would happily forfeit flesh occasionally. Stop being so bloody narrow minded.

SomethingNewToday · 27/10/2017 14:37

As I'm paying for it I don't really want to buy things I'm ethically apposed to

I think YABU. Eating out is a different situation to inviting people over (where you have to suck it up and eat what's offered).

My sister is veggie. If she invited me out for dinner as her treat, that would be lovely. If I picked up a menu and ordered steak and she told me I couldn't choose my own meal because she was paying then I'd tell her to go fuck herself.

You're paying for the meal - the 'morality' or ethics of what individuals choose to eat is on their shoulders NOT yours.

whiskyowl · 27/10/2017 14:41

Vegan food has come on such a long way in the last couple of years. I think a lot of people hear the word and have flashbacks to awful, awful dripping wet carrot salads served by dubious health food cafes in the 1990s that you'd have to be super-ethically committed to eat. Now, vegan lunches, burgers, teas etc can be absolutely gorgeous, and tremendously dirty (in a good way) and indulgent. There's a burger place near me that is entirely vegan and meat eaters go there all the time because it's frankly the best place in the city whatever your diet.

PurpleDaisies · 27/10/2017 14:45

My sister is veggie. If she invited me out for dinner as her treat, that would be lovely. If I picked up a menu and ordered steak and she told me I couldn't choose my own meal because she was paying then I'd tell her to go fuck herself.
That’s not the same situation at all. The guests all know they’re having a vegan afternoon tea. No menu choices to worry about.

IcingSausage · 27/10/2017 14:47

^^
Extactly. Would you tell your sister to ‘go fuck herself’ if she invited you out for a vegetarian buffet?

TheLittleShirt · 27/10/2017 14:48

I think the OP SHOULD stick to her ethics , and not be hypocritical. There will definitely be something on the menu her family can eat. Just because they don't like /want something is no reason for her to bow down to her dd.

HSMMaCM · 27/10/2017 14:52

Of course they'll be fine. It's just food and the fact that it's vegan is almost irrelevant.

HSMMaCM · 27/10/2017 14:53

Although, be prepared for their mum to have primed them that they won't like it (which will almost certainly mean they won't even try it).

Ontopofthesunset · 27/10/2017 14:55

There's a reasonable chance that children of that age won't eat something they're not familiar with, regardless of whether it's vegan or not; they might not eat ham or cheese either if the bread was 'funny'. I had one very fussy eater and one much less fussy, but (as an example) neither of them at that age liked pesto, hummus or cucumber, all of which are very popular with many children.

So if I were the OP I wouldn't worry about it too much.

IcingSausage · 27/10/2017 15:02

People definitely have a weird reaction to the idea of ‘vegan’ food.

I had my friend and her child over for lunch today. I fed her DC;

  • a peanut butter sandwich
  • a packet of Pom-bears
  • some cucumber sticks
  • some baby tomatoes
  • some sliced strawberries.
An accidentally vegan lunch. No bother.

Yet if I’d said ‘I’m making your kid a vegan lunch’ I can imagine the Hmm face now.

Vegan food is just...food.

OnionShite · 27/10/2017 15:15

I'm an omnivore who loves hummus as much as life itself, but hummus and carrot sandwiches are ewwwwww. Irredeemably. The correct way to eat carrot and hummus is carrot batons.

BadLad · 27/10/2017 15:16

I completely agree with bumflannel.

I can't think of many ways to make a meal out worse than having someone dictate what I can choose.

Pansiesandredrosesandmarigolds · 27/10/2017 15:19

Oh fgs. Of course they’ll be fine. You might as well say you shouldn’t take kids out for pizza because what if they wanted to choose fish and chips.

CorbynsBumFlannel · 27/10/2017 15:21

Even if it was a preordered meal it wouldn’t be much of a treat to me for someone to pay for my meal out but only if they could choose the meal!

MyDobbygotgivenasock · 27/10/2017 15:24

This thread is absolutely bonkers Grin

I'm going to read it again in case I have made a mistake and read 'vegan birthday high tea' instead of 'I'm going to make the children get piercings'. I hope they don't catch veganism, I heard it that if you use the toilet after one then you will wake up with falafels. And I heard about this man who accidentally ate a vegan cupcake and 20 years later he died.

OnionShite · 27/10/2017 15:29

From what OP has said about the serving arrangements and people's preferred items, they will probably eat primarily cake anyway. So she might have to put up with a bit of a sugar high, but unless they're particularly annoying when they're full of sweet stuff I'd think it would be ok?

Venusflytwat · 27/10/2017 15:30

“Wake up with falafels” GrinGrinGrin

Ollycat · 27/10/2017 15:34

Good grief OP asking your vegetarian dd and her houmous eating children to come out for a vegan tea with you to celebrate your birthday- what kind of cruel, unreasonable person are you!!! I’d go as far as to say you’re probably the kind of person who expects people to answer the phone / door if you ring / knock and would possibly even take in packages for a neighbour Shock

Your dd is being awkward for the sake of it and MN posters are more batshit crazy then normal!

Enjoy your tea and birthday Cake