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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Aibu to think a 2 and 5 year old will be fine being vegan for one lunch?

450 replies

mauricesom · 27/10/2017 09:46

It's my birthday next week and I've booked somewhere nice that does a vegan high tea. I've invited my daughter (veggie) and her two sons 7 and 5.

I've booked us all for the vegan high tea but daughter says the children will need ham and cheese else they won't eat it. As I'm paying for it I don't really want to buy things I'm ethically apposed to.

Aibu to think they will be fine with hummus and carrot sandwiches for one meal? They both eat food like that at my house without any issues.

OP posts:

BarbaraofSevillle · 28/10/2017 17:16

Have I fallen down a wormhole into the 1970s where hummus is a weirdy food available only from the Health Food Shop and only eaten by vegans?

It's like the last 30 or 40 years of food evolution in the UK never happened.

longestlurkerever · 28/10/2017 17:23

Don't most kids live on hummus? My kids are fussy and unadventurous buggers but its my go to for packed lunches and tea I need to have ready in 10 seconds.

MsPasspartout · 28/10/2017 17:24

I was having a minor grumble at our small local supermarket earlier this year because they’d replaced their fresh tomato salsa dips with yet another type of hummus.
Over half the fresh dips they stock are some sort of hummus.

I’d be surprised if I lived in a hummus hotspot and it was almost unheard of in the rest of the country.

BertrandRussell · 28/10/2017 17:27

derxa · 28/10/2017 17:31

Let them eat chips.

CorbynsBumFlannel · 28/10/2017 17:34

Meat is also widely available so maybe the op should eat it?
What has the availability got to do with anything. If you invite someone out for food you should let them choose what they like. Not what you want them to have.
I'm sure the ham sandwiches the kids scoff in the car will be much kinder to the pig though op 😂

PumpkinSquash · 28/10/2017 17:41

It doesn't look as if we'll be getting any definite answers on those questions though as the op has disappeared.

I'm not surprised, OP's probably read the replies, and gone to drown herself in a vat of hummus in despair at the sheer bonkersness of some of the comments.

pollymere · 28/10/2017 17:43

The first time I was given sushi, I ended up going for a meal afterwards! My dd has often eaten very little out and we've bought food on the way home. Vegan or not, you don't know what they will or won't eat anyway so I wouldn't worry about it!

Theresnonamesleft · 28/10/2017 17:54

Thanks for the link to the vegan afternoon tea. It’s something I’ve always wanted but eggs feature heavily in lots of food. Hopefully the person I take won’t be pissed off because they are unable to order what they want, and understand how afternoon tea works.

KEF411 · 28/10/2017 17:57

If your daughter is veggie and she lets her children eat ham, she probably thinks you should relax your 'standards' the way she seems to have done.

Regarding the meal you envisage, why is there no choice? Vegan restaurants don't just serve hummous and carrot sandwiches. What about rice, pasta, veggie burgers or dishes using Quorn-type products? Surely there are items on the menu that would satisfy the children...

Are your grandchildren always served ham and cheese when they eat at their friends' houses?

goose1964 · 28/10/2017 18:00

I think most kids are better at eating out than they are at home. Most fussy children say they don't like stuff without trying it.

Theresnonamesleft · 28/10/2017 18:03

That looks amazing.

Aibu to think a 2 and 5 year old will be fine being vegan for one lunch?

Pearlsaringer · 28/10/2017 18:11

Love carrot and hummus sandwiches! And roasted red pepper and hummus on lightly toasted bagel. Can I come to your vegan high tea? I’ll eat everything!

Dianag111 · 28/10/2017 18:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

grannytomine · 28/10/2017 18:24

wonders how people on this thread would react if they were offered.......pesto If they were offered it they would probably either accept or decline. If they were told they had to have pesto they might turn rebel and feel a bit bolshy.

Maybe it is a regional thing? Where I come from the host would always want to choose options the guests would like, some people seem to think the host chooses what they want and the guests have to accept it. There often seems to be a regional element to these conventions.

grannytomine · 28/10/2017 18:33

My point exactly. Why is it ok for a vegan to only provide vegan food (I wouldn't eat hummus if you paid me) but not ok for an omnivore to only provide meat? I really don't see the difference, especially as I'm sure the restaurant/hotel could easily provide non vegan food. It's all a bit precious I used to be a manager in social care and I've lost count of the number of vegetarians and vegans I have had to have meetings with because of their attitude to service users eating meat. It was always made clear at interview that they would have to prepare meat for service users and they would be expected to eat with them. Sitting down to a group meal was very much how we worked. Well they would agree and then a few weeks or months into the job they would decide to impose their food choices on service users and if they had to prepare meat would loudly protest about how disgusting it was, how animals were suffering and then cook later for themselves so wouldn't have the communal meal. I never had to actually sack anyone but after repeated talks several left.

Meat eaters never seemed to have a problem preparing a vegan or vegetarian meal for a service user even if it caused them extra work.

grannytomine · 28/10/2017 18:34

Obviously the vegans/vegetarians could prepare something meat free for themselves, they were just expected to sit down and eat with everyone else.

ArcheryAnnie · 28/10/2017 18:37

If you invite someone out for food you should let them choose what they like. Not what you want them to have.

If you hosted a group meal for your birthday and chose to supply dishes you knew you'd like, and that all the guests could eat, what's wrong with that? Even if for some of the kids you invited one of the dishes is not their favourite thing (which is OK because there will be other dishes which are), it's no big deal. If one of your guests was insisting you bought and paid for a dish you did not like, could not eat, and was ethically opposed to paying for would be the weird thing.

There will be cake. It's an afternoon tea. The children will not starve.

C8H10N4O2 · 28/10/2017 18:47

Where I come from the host would always want to choose options the guests would like, some people seem to think the host chooses what they want and the guests have to accept it.

Why on earth would you think it regional? Which regions do you think 'impose' choices on guests based on this thread?

The OP chose an afternoon tea option which she would enjoy but also she had no reason to think her vegetarian daughter and GCs would not enjoy. She said at the outset that the GCs eat vegan food happily at her house.

And of course, as said up thread - you have no guarantee that a meat afternoon tea will include anything as specific such as ham. Last time I took someone for afternoon tea the omnivore version sandwiches were chicken based, prawn based and cream cheese based - all with dressings/chutneys/etc which apparently children don't like.

C8H10N4O2 · 28/10/2017 18:47

What about rice, pasta, veggie burgers

For afternoon tea??

lolalola19 · 28/10/2017 18:50

They will be fine - you are being super kind taking them and paying anyway!

C8H10N4O2 · 28/10/2017 18:51

I never had to actually sack anyone but after repeated talks several left

I have never met a vegetarian who would not share a table with a meat eater.
If preparing meat meals is part of the job I agree they should do it if they have taken the job. Although I see no harm in them offering a bit more variety to people if the service users want to try it.

PumpkinSquash · 28/10/2017 18:51

For afternoon tea??

Was just thinking the same thing!

Do people actually know what an afternoon tea is?

Lillyringlet · 28/10/2017 18:53

If it's at Terre a Terre in Brighton it won't be a normal high tea but something far better! I have found that the vegan high teas are really good here.

It is your birthday and if they won't eat the sandwiches they will eat the cake and things that come with it. If she's really worried about it maybe she can get them something before or after as a snack...

grannytomine · 28/10/2017 18:54

C8H10N4O2 I just wondered if it was. If I was organising something like this and one of the guests said they wouldn't enjoy a vegan tea and I was booking somewhere that also did meat options or vegetarian options then I would think it was normal to let them have that. Everyone I know would do that so I just wondered if some people think the hosts personal preference is most important or the guests? No need to get het up about it.

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