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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To point out that Martin Clunes is a twat of the first order?

199 replies

Battleax · 27/10/2017 06:39

www.thesun.co.uk/tvandshowbiz/4776183/martin-clunes-actress-flirting-accusation/

OP posts:
SmileEachDay · 27/10/2017 10:26

The ONLY acceptable response to a question about HW is to condemn him. Any other response, especially one which points at women, is mitigating his behaviour. That’s not ok.

LeCroissant · 27/10/2017 10:28

Exactly UoKbing. Flowerpot, surely you can see the difference between a powerful person who uses other people's bodies for pleasure and a less powerful person who feels she has no choice but to do things she doesn't want to do in order to get ahead?

surferjet · 27/10/2017 10:29

If women stopped using sex to further their careers then all this would end.
But they won’t. So it will carry on.

TammyswansonTwo · 27/10/2017 10:29

Sorry, so some of you are saying that most of these women would choose to have sex with these dirty old fuckers if there was no pressure or benefit in doing so? No. These men run the system, some women feel comfortable taking advantage of it - does that really mean enthusiastic consent in your minds? Jesus.

TammyswansonTwo · 27/10/2017 10:30

Oh do fuck off surferjet. What utter bollocks.

Lweji · 27/10/2017 10:30

If women didn't prostitute themselves and offer themselves for sale, they'd be no customers.

FGS.

There would always be willing customers, just not offer of service. And I'd bet some men would still offer women rewards to have sex with them. Or expect sex after treating a woman to something.

LeCroissant · 27/10/2017 10:30

So in your mind women are the problem surferjet? Men have no responsibility?

Uokbing · 27/10/2017 10:31

If women didn't prostitute themselves and offer themselves for sale, they'd be no customers.

Absolute bollocks. None of Weinstein's victims were 'offering themselves for sale'. He still tried to buy their bodies. He didn't give a shit whether they were 'offering' or not.

LeCroissant · 27/10/2017 10:31

What I find really chilling is the implication that men are just animals that women have to protect themselves from.

Argeles · 27/10/2017 10:34

He’s absolutely spot on.

There are plenty of women who do this. When I was Teaching, many other female members of staff would act in this way in order to try and gain promotions. I can only imagine that in the sphere of acting, the problem is far greater.

LeCroissant · 27/10/2017 10:34

Men rig and control the system so that women feel they have no choice. In that situation who is to blame?? Why would women have sex with men they don't even like if they didn't feel they had to?? How on earth are women to blame for being used by men?

DJBaggySmalls · 27/10/2017 10:35

These are terrible arguments to make in the context of sexual abuse. It's whataboutery.
Women are not to blame for a sexual predator.

surferjet · 27/10/2017 10:35

Also. No woman needs to be an actress/singer/dancer/model.
It’s a shallow industry full of shallow manipulative people.
I doubt any woman sleeps with the boss to get a promotion at Tesco or Waitrose.

TheAntiBoop · 27/10/2017 10:35

I know women who will have sexwith men they don't find attractive to get something - be that a lifestyle they want or a promotion. It's a means to an end for them and they are happy to do it. But they are the minority.

To say if women stopped willingly having sex with these men then it would stop has it the wrong way around. It is the man with the power to give the job and it is therefore up to these powerful men to stop giving jobs for sex. it doesn't matter how much the woman is willing - she can't give her self the job

Any man who gives a woman a job because she was the only one willing to have sex with him shouldn't be in the job.

And this also comes down to pushing women into certain aesthetic. Don't wear tight skirts and high heels - don't deserve a promotion?

LeCroissant · 27/10/2017 10:36

Argeles, if men were promoting women on the basis of sexuality rather than competence, why is it the women you think are wrong? Surely if the men thought with their brains rather than their penises it wouldn't happen?

Larsitter · 27/10/2017 10:36

Of course it's not like that.
In all the cases where I have had a sex pest man come on to me in a work context there has been no hint of flirting. In fact most of the worst of these men tend to find it hard to get women through the usual means so have to resort to this. look at Dominique Strauss Khan too.

The idea that women in these work sex pest contexts drive the process is just wholly wrong.

Lweji · 27/10/2017 10:37

If women stopped using sex to further their careers then all this would end. But they won’t. So it will carry on.

What a stupid concept.

It's mostly men who make women choose between giving them sex or to see their careers go down the drain.

LeCroissant · 27/10/2017 10:37

So your response surferjet is that men can carry on as they are and women just have to give up on the job they want and work in Tesco?

Lweji · 27/10/2017 10:39

Poor men, just going about their business and all those women lining up outside their office offering sex for a role in a movie or as manager at Tesco.

Sure...

GF much, Surfer?

FlowerPot1234 · 27/10/2017 10:46

Uokbing
If women didn't prostitute themselves and offer themselves for sale, they'd be no customers.
Absolute bollocks. None of Weinstein's victims were 'offering themselves for sale'. He still tried to buy their bodies. He didn't give a shit whether they were 'offering' or not.

This is why MN threads go awry. You can't say A is bollocks because you fabricate that A really means Z.

None of Weinstein's victims were 'offering themselves for sale'.
Did I say that? No. So why make that up then formulate an argument against something which wasn't said and is only in your mind?
None of Weinsteim's victims offered themselves for sale. He attacked and raped them.
Plenty of women in Hollywood offered, and still offer, themselves to Weinstein and other producers for sale.

The two are NOT mutually exclusive you know.

RidingWindhorses · 27/10/2017 10:48

The reason that male and female actors flirt with producers in Hollywood is because it is a sleazy male-dominated environment in which actors are seen as meat and are expected to flirt to get parts.

The problem is with the industry and the very powerful sleazy people in it making this a requirement, not the actors themselves.

derxa · 27/10/2017 10:51

Are we saying that all actresses/singers/models/dancers are innocent victims of a rotten system? Surely some of them are manipulative and scheming? There are endless threads on here about nasty women.
Life is full of grey areas. Behaviour is nuanced.
Not excusing vile predators like Weinstein here though.

SmileEachDay · 27/10/2017 10:53

Me Too.

Uokbing · 27/10/2017 10:53

Also. No woman needs to be an actress/singer/dancer/model.
It’s a shallow industry full of shallow manipulative people.
I doubt any woman sleeps with the boss to get a promotion at Tesco or Waitrose.

Damn right. How dare any woman have ambition to get into those sorts of industries and be treated like an actual human. They should just forget it, stick on a Waitrose tabard and get behind the checkout where they belong and where they will never have to worry about all this sexual assault gubbins.

FFS listen to yourself Hmm

Chestervase1 · 27/10/2017 10:54

It has been known in the industry about Terry Richardson for decades and yet nothing was done and he was feted.

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