To think I don't need permission from dh to diet

[Jesstheblackandwhitecat]

Or do I?

I want to do a very low calorie diet - shakes and soups.

Dh has said no as he is worried that seeing me not eating will affect the children (they are already poor eaters)

I can't work out inches being an arse or not ...

Fitness pal isn’t a diet! What do you mean when you say you’ve already tried it?

If you have tried various diets and they haven’t worked then why do you think these shakes will be any different, long term?

Losing weight is quite simple really you just need to eat less and exercise code more and stick to it. Wonder shakes aren’t going to work!

Cambridge may work initially but The weight doesn’t stay off because it’s not sustainable, and moving back to a healthy eating plan afterwards isn’t realistic because they weren’t eating healthily in the first place! It’s not about dieting it’s about changing your mind set and attitude to food long term.

* See I started doing that too - also in August- and have put it back on* 

Which proves that your argument that you’ll maintain when you have lost weight is bollocks. It’s self sabotage. “Give me a shortcut and I’ll be okay when I get there”. No one is. It just means your slimmer so it takes longer to see the weight gain; and you wake up after a few months having gained weight and not noticed.

It’s an awful example to set your children and it’s not healthy for you either. Not to mention that if you are still surrounded by food and preparing it for the children; it will be very easy to sabotage yourself sneaking a bit of their food when you’re really hungry.

Instead of paying for a crash diet; can you perhaps seek help for the disordered thinking that you still have? I had to get help for that; then hit the gym and gently restrict food before I saw any progress.

The thing is, I do understand everyone's points but as a PP has explained, sometimes you need rapid weight loss in order to feel better about yourself generally.

I'm not sure exercise is the key in itself but I agree moving more is very productive. We've just sold my car actually so im doing a lot more walking.

I never cried because I couldn't eat on it last time. It really didn't bother me.im sorry it upset you like that MsHopey, I don't think anyone should do a diet that makes them that unhappy.

If you have a lot of issues and baggage around food and eating - which it sounds like you do - these types of diets won't work for you (there are some success stories - but they are nearly always people that use them to gain a head start in weight loss having got their head sorted out first).

The second you come off it, you'll pile weight back on as you will not have got to the root cause of why you are overweight, and will not have learned how to eat properly.

What sort of food do you eat just now OP?

Oh anchor it's really hard to get any help at all for any sort of mental health related problem never mind one like this that isnt really MH related at all, its me being silly, and I know I am silly.

I think the reason why exercise is working for me is because it’s the quickest change. At the minute I look in the mirror and I can see my clothes are baggy etc but I still feel big. I still think I look the same. The difference is moving wise I can do more already. I can walk further and faster. The niggly aches and pains you get as you get bigger are going. I can feel muscles forming and that’s a bigger motivator than the food.

A few ladies I hike with also say it distracts them from food. My situation is different. Food is literally just fuel to me now. But I find I’m choosing the options that help me most exercise wise.

Your DH really is right about the effect you have on your children. Even if you treat them entirely positively and caringly, never comment on their weight and feed them healthy and enjoyable meals, they see what you (and your husband's) relationship to food is and that is the example they will carry with them when they leave home and are totally in charge of their own diet. Emotional eating needs emotional support to deal with it. Hypnotherapy is a great place to start.

Smaller portions of what you’re all having and Fitnessblender on YouTube - hit workouts, cardio, yoga etc all from the safety from your own home. I lost my baby weight thanks to that awesome channel!!

Oh anchor it's really hard to get any help at all for any sort of mental health related problem never mind one like this that isnt really MH related at all, its me being silly, and I know I am silly

Of course it's mental health related! Have you even spoken to your GP about this?

I worried about the example dieting would set my teen and pre-teen dc. However, by eating Low Carb High Fat, and being the main cook at home, I am able to eat the same food as them, with them, at the same table, at the same time. I just have half a potato and loads of greens with my meat, for example, and a generous spoonful of mayo.

The dc see both parents enjoying a range of food. They get an alternative view on 'healthy eating' to the carb-heavy, anti-sugar, anti-fat one that is promoted elsewhere.

They do not see any food demonised: they see dh loading up on carbs when he is fuelling up for a long-distance run. They get chocolate bars and Full English when out hiking. We have desserts and treats. Carbs have their place.

Fat is demonised by conventional thinking. They see me using it mindfully as a replacement for carbs, because I am not as physically active, therefore do not need carbs.

When they bake, I have a little portion of their creation. Nothing is demonised or forbidden. Diet is not about control, but about fully enjoying food in the best balance for each individual.

I would say that my dc eat a bigger and healthier range of food in the last 4 years since I discovered LCHF.

Agree with Cake - I have a lot to lose and have tried VLC in the past - it's never worked in the long term, and it's miserable. Have joined the low carb bootcamp thread over in weight loss and it's a revelation. I've lost 13lbs in 3 weeks and am cooking more than ever - lovely food my DH is eating too and DS1 is occasionally trying when he can be persuaded to eat anything other than a chicken nugget. I also have absolutely no desire to cheat or treat myself - and I am usually a carb fiend.

I don't think you need your Dh's permission to diet, of course, but I think it's true that you wouldn't be setting a good example to your children, which is something to think about. Have a look at the diet doctor website or pop over to the bootcamp threads for some inspiration on LCHF and see if it's something that appeals.

I did see the doctor once but there isn't much they can do and anyway, I can manage it myself.

Another advocate for BIWI's Bootcamp.

I first lost weight about 8 years ago, by a combination of lots of walking (8 miles a day), a weekly gym visit and and VLC. I didn't follow any particular diet plan, I just put everything in to a site similar to MFP and got the cals down to 800 per day.

Since then my weight's gone up, since I have no need to walk so far every day, the gym closed and I started eating more. At the start of the year I'd have toast for breakfast, a sandwich for lunch (with other things), toast when I got home and then dinner. Lots of carbs. I would get cravings for them. And if I didn't have toast when I got home I'd have chocolate, or have some as well later on in the evening.

Since I started low carbing in May I have lost 1.5 stone, gone from a size 14 to almost a size 8 (some things fit, my jeans don't quite, but they will), and I have no cravings. I had been sitting at Easter Eggs in my lounge every evening for months, with no real desire to eat them. I'm not even having to fight temptation, they just don't appeal (despite me buying them myself, and them being my favourite chocolate).

Come and join us, and lose that weight sensibly. We'll look after you!

Cambridge is a low carb, to be honest. But I am vegetarian so would struggle a bit with actually low carb, nay well join you though.

Cambridge is low carb, but it doesn't replace the carb. Fat satisfies, so your appetite diminishes and you really do not have to fight hunger or desire.

With Cambridge you have to re-educate yourself to eat less once the active weight-loss and meal replacement phase is finished. With LCHF you re-educate both mind and body at the same time, while you're losing weight. Your whole way of thinking about food changes.

It is a bit like choosing to become a vegetarian. You don't decide "I'll be vegetarian for 10 months, then I'll introduce meat once a week. See how it goes - maybe I'll have meat twice a week." Its the same with LCHF: a lifestyle choice that continues as long as you feel it is worth doing. It's just as ethical to look after yourself as it is to look after animals.

No, I get that, but it is like someone deciding they couldn't be vegetarian all at once but cutting down the amount of meat they consume, which I am in favour of.

There are loads of vegetarians on the boot camp threads, you'll find good company there.

I'm not vegetarian, but I don't have meat at every meal. Eggs, butter, nuts, seeds, tahini, Greek yogurt, crème fraîche, all good sources of vegetarian fat and protein. I eat plenty of them and lose about 1lb every week, slowly, steadily and sustainably.

A lot of those are dairy based though which I also don't eat

I find calorie counting and extreme restriction of food (such as what you’re planning) really triggering from when I had food issues in the past.

What works for me (I don’t eat meat except fish) is to just base meals around vegetables and lean protein and measure the carbs for a sensible portion. Cut down on booze and crisps/choc. It’s a slower way to lose but it’s a sustainable way of eating.

My mum was constantly on fad diets when I was growing up and I've battled eating disorders from a very young age. Don't do it.

Cambridge is a low carb, to be honest.

No it's not. Some of the products contain 30g of carbs. LCHF suggests

OTOH I 100% agree with you, but OTOH I know that I can't do that. The carb-cravings are still there. The only way that means I don't have to fight them is by cutting carbs out completely. After a few weeks like this, i can have a mouthful or a tiny portion - and not be desperate for more.

There is good science behind it. But, as important for me, is that it is a happy way of eating. Particularly when there are impressionable children around.

A lot of those are dairy based though which I also don't eat

Nor did I, when I started. TBH I would probably be losing faster if I still didn't. OTOH I believe in enjoying your food, and it's an acceptable compromise for me.

The problem is they are already getting a bad impression of eating and food from me. I often don't eat with them, or won't have an ice cream when out as I feel self conscious but then I binge when they are in bed

Is it really so bad to be honest and concede I am a twat but they don't have to be? My parents were smokers in the 80s - not very heavy - and my dad would tell me over and over how foolish he was to start and please would I never smoke. So I don't think children necessarily do just follow parents examples.