Two dc aged 10 & 8. Since they broke up on Friday the sitting room has become more and more toy-filled. At the weekend they built a civilisation involving pretty much every toy they own, and did play with it a lot. They didn't want to put it away as they intended to play with it again, but we've been out a lot since then and they never did.
Day out yesterday and I bought pizza on the way home as treat 'final' tea with me before they go to their dad's, which they did this morning. I made it clear they would have to clear up the sitting room before I cooked it. When we got in, ds2 refused: put one thing away and then sat whining. Ds1 got on with it without complaining. To my shame, ds2 also stuck his middle finger up at me several times (new thing he seems to have picked up from school I suppose). We had been down a coalmine and learnt about children who worked in them and at one point ds1 said to ds2, "at least we're not down a mine," and ds2 replied that it was fine for those children as that was the old days. That obviously made me more annoyed.
I followed through on my threat and ds2 ate some of his meal and spent the rest of the mealtime lying under the kitchen table where he planned to stay forever, being surreptitiously fed onion rings by ds1 (I pretended not to notice).
Finally, we talked about it and he apologised, came out, had a tiny slither of pizza and fruit for pudding with his brother. I dropped them off at ex's this morning and have just received a text saying 'Ds2 is starving after no proper meal last night, while ds2 had pizza. Can you clarify?'
FFS, I don't know what to reply. Why should I answer to him after the way he carries on? Was I wrong? Would I be wrong not to reply/ or reply something very terse? Ds1 would be more than capable of giving an honest account of what happened.