Male postnatal depression

[Foxysoxy01]

Just caught a bit of This Morning with my coffee and they are talking about male postnatal depression.

Now I understand it is a massive change to both parents with a new baby and can quite believe that it could cause stress and worry, even depression for the non birthing partner but why would it have to be postnatal depression which feels more female and is a term used for women who have given birth?

The thing I have an issue with (maybe I'm an unreasonable cynical cow) does it not seem another thing that men have to take away from women?
It feels a little bit like taking away a real horrible issue that women who have given birth sometimes face and making it all about men again and how very hard they have it.

My AIBU is I'm I being a real in empathetic bitch or is this just another case of men having to take over women's experiences and issues? Or is it just a word I'm getting hung up on and technically it is actually correct that they may have postnatal depression?

Go ask 100 people in the street if men can get PND and they will look you at as if you have gone mad

The same 100 people would look at you like you were mad if you asked them if PTSD was suffered by women in child birth (seeing as it was origianlly used to describe war veterans who had witness attrocities)

PTSD is treated the same whatever the cause.

But depression after a child may need different treatment for women and men. I am a feminist, but in this case I actually think it is men's interests to have a different term to describe their depression.

I think if you asked 100 women that a few of them would agree that a woman could suffer from PTSD

Hi everyone,

It was actually me that was on This Morning talking about this.

It's my personal opinion that the whole label debate is rather silly, and it undermines the actual feelings that men, and women, go through. The important part isn't the postnatal tag, it's the depression tag.

Having the debate that men can't get postnatal depression is highly detrimental to those who are suffering. They may see people talk about the fact they can't get it, and then not seek help as they'll be worried about being ridiculed, or dismissed.

I also don't see why women want to keep this as their thing. Does it really matter? I wouldn't care if there was something that just men went through and the women starting getting involved. And let's be honest, the more men come out and seek help, the more their partners would actually benefit from a healthy father instead of an ill one.

Not really looking to get into any sort of debate about it. Just thought I'd come on here and say a little bit, and let you know that it was me on This Morning. If anyone wants to actually talk about this then feel free to message me directly. I never really get into arguments with groups as they quickly turn into point scoring and conformation bias battles.

Thank you, and I'm glad that this topic has at least opened up a little more discussion on the topic.

If you want to hear me talk a little more about this, then I was also on Five Live: www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b099vzf6#play

It's the last 25 minutes, if you wanted to listen.

Thank you

Is it me or is that a bit rude

I also don't see why women want to keep this as their thing. Does it really matter?

With respect, you’re not female, so please don’t take the ‘I don’t see why women want X’ line. You haven’t experienced the struggles and oppressions females experiences (usually at the hands of males) so of course you wouldn’t see why it’s important to us.

And yes it matters to many of us to retain sex-based language, for reasons already outlined in the thread particularly by messyjessy who has made some fantastic points.

Not really looking to get into any sort of debate about it.

Well you hardly expect to go on every possible media outlet to promote your view without hearing some dissent.

PND can be treated very effectively with hormonal medication. Treating a man with 'male PND' with hormonal medication would have zero effect on his depression.

Fuckin hell i hate that

Just plops on the thread and then leaves...

The name or tag as you put it does matter hugely. I've already explained why as have others, you can read back if you care to hear.

The terms women use to describe our experience are beong taken from us all over at the moment, and that matters because that silences us, leaves is less able to speak up, to name the problem, gain help and understanding and support. Words have meanings and obliterating that causes damage. Primarily to women but i agree with pp that it makes it less likely men will speak up if they are to be told they have a female illness. It's also important as while there maybe similar reasons that cross over like sleep deprivation or life changes there are many that are soley to do with female anatomy-hormones, birth truama, body changes and effect of hemoraging (that fucked my brain more than the rest put together) and there are different ways to address those causes of depression and women need to not be lost at the bottom of male reasons as so often happens. And it effects other aspects of parenthood men don't go through- breastfeeding for example is ofteb harder for women with pnd, d-mer is much more common in women with pnd. There are also studies that show that when bf is successful the hormones have a positive effect of pnd. Pmdd and pmpd tend to be much worse after the hormonal upheveal of birth and ebf stopping menstruation is likely what helps recovery from pnd for those it works for, which also often means that pmdd and pmpd becomes much worse again at the point we menstrate again as most of us find we get the entire 6mths/1yr/18mths periods back in one fricken go when baby stops nursing during the 1-5am hrs that up prolactin and pause menstration. As so few are already aware of the effect this all plays we need it not to be burried under the sole reason of oh men get pnd too so it's just about adjusting to new lifestyle.

🙄🤐

Fuck that is pretty much a perfect summary of why it’s important, thank you! Sadly I don’t think the This Morning man will be back

Great post fuck

Yy fuckshit

I think it's really important to add, there are very sinister forces who are angling to promote the idea that pregnancy and childbirth are easy, safe and inconsequential so women who have abortions because they can't be pregnant are selfish and irresponsible. Allowing the idea that the effects of pregnancy are equally felt by those who don't go through it is dangerous for women who value women's choice and autonomy.

Have we really just had postnatal depression mansplained to us?

Yep. By TV expert, no less.

Thats got to be breaking talk guidelines surely

MNHQ

Isnt the above post, by someone so inconsequential that i cant be bothered to look up its name, breaking some sort of rule

Complete lack of manners and disregard for anyone on the thread or who may have struggled with PND

That should be a deletion thing i reckon

It'll be periods and mastitis next week the way things are going.

Have we really just had postnatal depression mansplained to us?

Yep. Coupled with “you silly wimmin making a fuss over nothing”. Lucky us!

I also don’t know why he said this The important part isn't the postnatal tag, it's the depression tag then argued why men should get ‘postnatal’ depression

Exactly Cherry. If the tag is not important, why so desperate to associate it with males?

Thanks. I thought it was badly written but ty.

I also agree with mrs. Even the safest pregnancy poses greater risk to a wonam's life than an abortion does. What'shisfuckingfacemoggs going on about how a rape victim is equally in the wrong to abort a rapists baby is evil. Especially when the reality would be he wouldn't be convicted so would then have a chance at gaining parental responsibility. It's just dismissing any possibility that women have a say in what happens with our bodies at all.

Do you remember the old Carte D'Or ads where it was too good for kids? Maybe postnatal depression is too good for the women.

Are you all as nasty about men with breast cancer as it’s such a woman’s thing, shouldn’t we all be calling them for sticking up to fingers to women and saying it’s a male disease as well