To be pissed off that DD has spent a good 15 hours playing video games today?

[VerityMichaels]

She’s still up now. Is 17 (18 in December).

It’s just annoying. She won’t roll out of bed until 11/12 tomorrow. She won’t go out with her friends (she is constantly getting messages off them and although texts them a lot, she says she “can’t be arsed to see them as she sees them every day at college” even though they have invited her to some really great places). She’s just so lazy.

Surely 15 hours (and counting) just isn’t healthy? She is working tomorrow evening, but from when she gets up at midday until 1 hour before she is due to start work, she will be playing it again.

Nightmare.

AIBU?

Well I guess that depends on the book - I've read plenty on mind numbing chick lit

(don't get me wrong I love reading - but some people treat it like it is a moral activity or something)

As a rare thing just during holidays, that’s fine. Sometimes people need to switch off and lock themselves away for a bit. It’s when it starts to become a need during term time, pushing aside college work and other stuff that it’s a problem.
I miss the days when I got a new game and could game all day. Other people binge on netflix, it’s the same sort of thing.

DoubleRamsay, I suspect Koala's post was directed at your suggestion that reading is a passive activity, which it clearly isn't. Spend 15 hours reading round your A level subjects, or just some reasonably decent book, you can only gain; spend 15 hours on a game, you gain nothing.

While I do agree too much gaming isn't great i do think people have an old fashioned view that they are just brain frying drains and don't realise that some games are actually very difficult and can only be progressed by solving cryptic puzzles and use of math etc. Gaming helped my DS go from being absolutely useless at maths to now being able to work out really complex addition/subtraction in his head, his written problem solving has also really improved, he is top of his class at reading and spelling (again thanks to having to solve puzzles in-game) and it's also almost completely cured him of a very prominent speech impediment as he has found something he loves to talk about so is relaxed with his speech so it flows easier.

People really do underestimate modern games, they really aren't the monotonous sonic the hedgehog type anymore.

Reading improves reading and writing skills. It also improves general knowledge and empathy.

While reading is a solo activity, kind of like gaming, it does not have the same addictive element as gaming- that adrenaline rush reward when you complete a level of beat a boss.
The narrative is element of most games is not complex enough- in comparison to a novel- to show plot and character development in enough detail to explore complex ideas and emotions.

And I say this a someone who has gamed on the more sophisticated RPGs.

I disagree that you gain nothing from computer games ceto

It often involves problems solving, hand eye coordination, and these days more so than ever is often social. Reading offers none of these things.

Gaming is just as bad as reading a book 😂😂😂

Nice one.

Take it away? That's the advice...shes 17 nearly 18 not a little child. I really don't get all the angst from some people about this. My eldest was exactly the same at that age but funny enough it hasnt rotted his brain, he still studied and at 24 he has a really good job and has just bought his first house with his girlfriend.

Spend 15 hours reading round your A level subjects, or just some reasonably decent book, you can only gain

"Decent" being the crux there. There's all sorts of appalling fiction out there that would bring no benefit whatsoever

Which is great if you have a dc who enjoys reading but mine doesn't. Absolutely hates it and always has. Tried many tactics when he was younger but it was clear it was just pushing him into never ever wanting to pick up a book. Now like I say he's top of the class for reading/writing. I'll take that!

My son has totally swapped his body clock around, he's doing nights

15 hours isn't normal. Especially if the interaction through some of them is replacing interaction in the real world (which it sounds like it is).

What are her friends doing?

I was on a bus yesterday and there was a group of girls, around 17, their language was disgusting and all they talked about was getting off their faces and shagging.

Two of my DDs have isolated themselves from friendship groups, at times, when behaviour was going on that they didn't want to get involved with. Some they are friends with again, now they've all grown up a bit.

She's at college and working, so her life is going to be varied. How she's choosing to spend her downtime now, won't necessarily be forever.

15 hours nonstop is extreme. I make my DD (19), at least come off to eat, help with the house etc.

But if that's gaming is all she wanted to do, before work/after college, I wouldn't have an issue with it.

I was just thinking that I'm sure my mum would have preferred it if I stayed in gaming for 15 hours rather than the stuff I used to get up to with my friends at that age 😀

I can’t believe how many people think it’s acceptable to tell an almost 18yo that they can’t do their legal hobby on their day off.

She works, she’s in college - and she’s being criticised for not wanting to see her friends and go out everyday - so what? Not everyone is massively sociable and wants to be out all the time.

There are hundreds of threads on here, started by grown women with kids and jobs, who ask if it’s okay for them to have a lazy day watching Netflix and not answering the phone, and 99% of the responses say “yes, it’s healthy - everyone needs a lazy day and time to recharge occasionally” so why can’t that be true of a teenager?

I get plenty of fresh air and exercise, but I think if my parents had tried to force me out on a walk at 17yo I would have looked at them like they’d grown an extra head!

She’s nearly an adult and responsible for how she spends her free time. She’s at home, safe, doing something perfectly legal. Don’t create a drama over it.

The thing is, DoubleRamsay, that you get practice in problem solving and hand-eye co-ordination in all sorts of activities, and they are usually ones that are better for you because they involve more than sitting in front of a computer all day, and don't involve that element of addiction. On the other hand, what you gain from reading isn't really duplicated anywhere else.

It's going to look great at interview or on her CV. Not.

Why in the world would you mention it on a CV? Do you also add ‘binged watch Game of Thrones, or go round to a friends house for a cuppa every day?

The thing I always find annoying is people are generally much more tolerant of watching entire box sets in one sitting but complain about gaming.

I am also a big fan of reading, but I do hate how some posters hold it in reverence. Unless you are settling down to Iliad or The Social Contract, etc. then it is just another past time like any other activity. Someone upthread suggested that you learn more from books, but as the best sellers seem to be chick flicks or those awful unreliable author thrillers, then you won’t gain much more from that than you will from playing Gears of War or The Sims.

Your DD is 17. She is at college and at work. If she has done her Homework, and it’s a one off, then I really don’t see the problem.

I have spent the whole day playing a game that I’d just bought as I was keen to reach the end (Fallout). It was not any more an addiction than someone keen to watch the whole next serious of Stranger Things - it’s a one off event that some people enjoy.

No I know lots of kids don't read, my ds is one. I'm just saying why I'd consider reading better than gaming.

I was too harsh to say gaming was mindlessly futile further up. It does teach skills and even knowledge, just a tiny amount compared to any other activity. I know plenty of people who have passed a driving test from scratch after 15 hours of lessons. If you start a new instrument and play 15 hours you'll probably be able to produce a tune or two.

15 hours of intense stimulation and heightened stress levels can’t be good. Gaming can affect heart rate, blood pressure and nervous system. And dopamine levels.
It’s ok as a one off but it can become addictive very quickly.

As a teacher who has been encountering more and more students (especially at Sixth Form level) who are displaying symptoms of gaming/online addiction (exhaustion, lack of motivation, bad concentration and in extreme cases, mild seizures) because their parents are just grateful their kids aren't out 'doing drugs or drinking on a park bench or other mischief' and think being alone in their bedroom for hours on end is fine, is getting challenging.

Their grades are suffering (not one of these students has met their targets and often obtained U grades), their mental health is suffering and is starting to come out physically. 15 hours in one go is not healthy but I am sad to see that to some, this has become 'normal'.

I am not against tech or video gaming but the growing trend of unlimited access to our teens is having a negative effect.

It does take effort to deal with it but as the parent, that is our job.

Staggered that people think this is acceptable.

Of course it’s not healthy if it happens all the time, but nowhere in the OP has that been implied.

Her DD is 17yo, has friends (who text her, and who she texts back), she goes to college and holds down a job, so I can’t imagine she has that much opportunity to spend 15 hours gaming.

It’s a one-off during half-term. I bet nobody would criticise it if she wanted to spend a day in her pajamas watching Netflix, but gaming seems to be the one hobby that everyone on MN detests for some reason!

Sounds like my weekends when a new game comes out. And I am 44.

If it's just over half-term I can't see the problem. If it's a permanent thing then it's not good for her health-wise - she needs to break it up a bit with some exercise. The same would apply to sitting still watching tv or reading a book.

😂😂at the people saying 'put your foot down', 'turn the internet off'. She's nearly 18!!!!