Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be pissed off that DD has spent a good 15 hours playing video games today?

322 replies

VerityMichaels · 25/10/2017 02:14

She’s still up now. Is 17 (18 in December).

It’s just annoying. She won’t roll out of bed until 11/12 tomorrow. She won’t go out with her friends (she is constantly getting messages off them and although texts them a lot, she says she “can’t be arsed to see them as she sees them every day at college” even though they have invited her to some really great places). She’s just so lazy.

Surely 15 hours (and counting) just isn’t healthy? She is working tomorrow evening, but from when she gets up at midday until 1 hour before she is due to start work, she will be playing it again.

Nightmare.

AIBU?

OP posts:
zwellers · 26/10/2017 21:54

Why are you so bothered. It's not your life

mumindoghouse · 26/10/2017 21:58

I get worried about time DSs spend gaming, but they get school work done (not as thoroughly as I would like but I was always a swot) do other things and hobbies / part time jobs etc
Also gaming industry has greater turnover than film industry so despite my misgivings I'm holding my tongue more and more cos it's just like me reading forever (and I still do til 2am even if I have to work next day sometimes). It's their thing in their world.
DH took me to a VR exhibition recently. It was amazing. And it's coming too every home sooner than we know. I say let your DD relax and just keep a mindful eye.

smilingontheinside · 26/10/2017 22:00

The norm I feel, had it with my son and now with my dd who is 19. She does work 4 nights a week but stays up til wee hours then sleeps until noon. I just let her get on with it she'll surface eventually and start acting like a regular human her brother managed it

JacquesHammer · 26/10/2017 22:21

@ZarduHasselfrau I wonder if I know who you are! I might have an inkling but could well be way out!

Small world - used to be at a games studio myself

Lethaldrizzle · 26/10/2017 22:27

Mumindoghouse - pretty sure the porn industry has a really high turnover, doesn't make it any more acceptable - and for 15 hours! That is eye popping

MasterofKittens · 27/10/2017 01:02

How tf is reading a passive activity???

Abbylee · 27/10/2017 02:42

She is escaping. My ds does this when he is stressed. Work, school, social. Being young, this is her healing process.

YeahButNo · 27/10/2017 03:34

It is unhealthy but yes, sounds normal for a teen. I have probably done many 15-hour stints just watching TV or reading in my day. But I agree with the posters that if she is going to college and also working, then she doesn't sound lazy at all.

Dixiestampsagain · 27/10/2017 03:40

I did similar at her age- I remember my brother and I playing Football Manager in the Commodore 64 (all the mod cons!) for about 12 hours straight, going to bed then getting up and doing it all over again. I was a bit of a ‘workaholic’ student who even did coursework on Christmas Day for enjoyment (I know..sad!!) so it was just a bit of escapism - no harm at all.

Caprinihahahaha · 27/10/2017 03:48

I don't have a problem with gaming at all but I'd be pretty disappointed if my child did that for 15 hours straight . Just as I would if they did 15 hours of Xbox set or on their phone
It's a big shit , I'm not sure how I'd object but I would and I know they'd listen to my objections because I'm not oppressive in my parenting
15 hours is pretty fucking grim

Mustang27 · 27/10/2017 09:58

@ZarduHasselfrau awesome, well happy to confirm I will have definitely played some of the games you have worked on. I think that’s pretty awesome personally lol. I’m clearly easily amused.

LalaLeona · 27/10/2017 10:18

This thread makes sad reading.

LalaLeona · 27/10/2017 10:20

Speaking as an ex games/net addict myself I think 15 hours us potentially very unhealthy, not as a one off but on a regular basis. Just keep an eye on her!

Lethaldrizzle · 27/10/2017 10:33

the longest I have ever done anything like that is watch 4 episodes of a tv drama back to back! That's probs less than 4 hours. No I'm not a gamer but I just dont get it. A film has an end point. A book has a last page. Tv dramas have endings. Online/video games can go on indefinitely. I'm just gobsmacked that anyone from the games designers to the consumers think it's in anyway ok for a young adult to be plugged into a mostly sedentary game for 15 hours! It's insane. And don't even get me started on the barriers it puts up to the people around you. Staring into your phone or tablet or tv screen for hours on end not communicating with those around you. But hey you're playing with someone on the opposite side of the world so that's ok Hmm

JacquesHammer · 27/10/2017 11:07

I'm just gobsmacked that anyone from the games designers to the consumers think it's in anyway ok for a young adult to be plugged into a mostly sedentary game for 15 hours! It's insane

As a ONE OFF (and there's nothing in the OP to suggest any different) I see no issue with anyone having a veg out day.

Again with the assumptions though; not everyone who is a gamer is insular and unable to communicate whilst playing. That plays totally into the lazy stereotype of young males, sitting in their room and doing nothing else which is not the reality for most gamers

ZarduHasselfrau · 27/10/2017 11:52

@Mustang27 I'm easily amused too. Must be on account of my brain (the size of a planet) being fried because of 40 years of playing videogames. Grin

On the plus side, I'm not a judgemental know-it-all who thinks they have a right to dictate how others should live their lives. Halo

Now, if you'll excuse me, it's almost 2pm, and I've taken the afternoon off work so that I can spend the next 15 hours playing Assassin's Creed Origins. Wink

ZarduHasselfrau · 27/10/2017 12:55

@Lethaldrizzle

the longest I have ever done anything like that is watch 4 episodes of a tv drama back to back! That's probs less than 4 hours.

What is your point? That you have a relatively short attention span, or that once you found something you enjoyed so much, you devoted an amount of time to it?

No I'm not a gamer but I just dont get it.

And yet here you are, pontificating.

A film has an end point. A book has a last page. Tv dramas have endings. Online/video games can go on indefinitely.

Since by your own admission, you're not a gamer, and don't understand videogames, this is a fallacious statement.

Videogames do not go on indefinitely. Unless you count playing through them again. But the same can be said of re-watching TV shows and movies, or re-reading books. Online games also do not go on indefinitely, and do have an end point.

I'm just gobsmacked that anyone from the games designers to the consumers think it's in anyway ok for a young adult to be plugged into a mostly sedentary game for 15 hours!

I am not a young adult - I've been playing games for more than 40 years. I spent decades working in the games industry; no one sets out to make a game with the intention of ensnaring young people, and turning them into vegetative, antisocial zombies, so you're safe - you have nothing to be gobsmacked about.

It's insane.

It's not. You know nothing, and yet deign to have an opinion. Here's the rub; in the absence of information and facts, you cannot have an opinion. What you have is prejudice and an ill-held bias. It's not the same.

And don't even get me started on the barriers it puts up to the people around you. Staring into your phone or tablet or tv screen for hours on end not communicating with those around you.

Just like people who are avid book-readers, then.

Should we be castigating novelists for writing material with the sole intention of immersing people for hours on end in a make-believe world, to the exclusion of other human beings?

What do you think? Should I sent a Tweet to JK Rowling, and tell her how wrong she is? Should I, in fact, be gobsmacked that authors absolutely intend for their readers to lose themselves in books?

But hey you're playing with someone on the opposite side of the world so that's ok

You weren't going to start, remember?

I will say this, however; there is absolutely nothing wrong with casting a wide social net. It may not be the same as your social net but it's still valid.

Anecdotally, I know three couples from almost opposite sides of the planet who would not be together if not for the MMOs they played together. I know literally hundreds more who've made friends with people from many different countries because of online gaming. And almost every developer I've ever worked, or am friends, with was a gamer before gaming became their job.

But, yeah, you're right, all serious gamers are sad, antisocial, jobless losers who sit in their bedrooms all day with the curtains closed, never venturing forth unless it's to shamble to the fridge. How have I not noticed this over the past four decades?

Sarcasm aside, my point is that just because you see no value in something you have little desire to understand, it doesn't mean no one else does or should. And it most certainly does not make you right. It may make it right for you but you are one person among a whole world of people who live their lives differently to you. Why does that make you angry? Or outraged? Or whatever emotion it was that prompted you to write the comment above?

Why does how other people live even matter to you? Do you not have anything better to do with your time than concern yourself with what others are doing?

Should I be concerned that you spent four hours watching a TV show, which in all likelihood, I wouldn't enjoy? Ooh, here's an idea - how does this sound?

"I just don't understand how people can spend four hours watching TV dramas back-to-back. I don't watch TV but I just don't get it. And don't even get me started on the barriers it puts up to the people around you. Staring into your TV screen for hours on end, and not communicating with those around you. It's insane."

Fair?

I personally despise reality TV, chick flicks, and soap operas but do I feel that anyone who is into those things are wrong? No, of course I don't because I'm a rational, logical-thinking grown-up who understands that we're all made differently, and we all find our happiness in different places.

Also, I'm not an arse. Wink

Raraolala · 27/10/2017 13:07

I feel everything that can be has been said here.

But I have an idea for some of you, why not play with them?

When I was a kid I got really into games. Could easily spend all day doing it. My dad said he didn’t like the idea of me sat in my room all by myself in the evenings so he bought some puzzle game and we played together. It wasn’t a game I would have played alone but it was really good fun playing with him! Gaming was also some of the best sibling bonding I did.

I don’t really have enough spare time to game much now, but if I did I would see a day of gaming well spent if I enjoyed it!

gamerchick · 27/10/2017 13:10

Now, if you'll excuse me, it's almost 2pm, and I've taken the afternoon off work so that I can spend the next 15 hours playing Assassin's Creed Origins

Lucky bugger, I've just got 2 hours this afternoon. First time all week Sad

Lethaldrizzle · 27/10/2017 14:23

Zardu who said you were an arse?! Pretty long post for someone who's off to play video games for 15 hours. Enjoy!

FreakinScaryCaaw · 27/10/2017 23:36

Op has only posted 3 times in total. Interesting Halloween Hmm

Wholovesorangesoda · 28/10/2017 15:23

I haven't rtft but I still wistfully remember the school holidays spending hours upon hours playing on my PlayStation. Very normal behaviour

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.