To be pissed off that DD has spent a good 15 hours playing video games today?

[VerityMichaels]

She’s still up now. Is 17 (18 in December).

It’s just annoying. She won’t roll out of bed until 11/12 tomorrow. She won’t go out with her friends (she is constantly getting messages off them and although texts them a lot, she says she “can’t be arsed to see them as she sees them every day at college” even though they have invited her to some really great places). She’s just so lazy.

Surely 15 hours (and counting) just isn’t healthy? She is working tomorrow evening, but from when she gets up at midday until 1 hour before she is due to start work, she will be playing it again.

Nightmare.

AIBU?

Has she had a new game recently? Or is it an online co-op? If a nee game then o can understand getting hooked and wantef to just do the next bit and then the next bit. Im like that with new book. Ill just finish this chapter... oh i need to readd the next chapter... one more chapter wont hurt.
If its a co-op game then she is socialising. It's not in a form you might realise but shes playing with friends and its only the same as texting constantly or being on the phone all the time.
People dont like games as they usually dont understand the benefits (hand to eye co-ordination, problem solving, co-operative play, social aspects, being exposed to people from around the world, thinking outside the box extra.). Id be more worried about eye strain, carpal tunnel and general tiredness then anything else. Mayve encourage breaks every hour or two where she gets a snack stretched out and looks away from the screen. You could also she about turning the brightness down on her screen so its not as glaring.
Ultimately though shes not hurting anyone and almost an adult. If she did it all the time and was failing collagr and constantly late for work because of it i could see ehy youd be worried but shes pretty normal tbh. Shes young and using her free time to do what she wants.

Some parents will say it’s ok because to admit it’s rubbish means they have to look at their own parenting

This.

It's not normal, it's awful.

I don’t think it’s great. And I speak as a former gamer who would spend hours playing. It was an escape from reality that became addictive. I wasn’t happy at time, and I gradually came to care more about my life inside the game than I did for my real life outside it. I now really regret the time in my early 20s that I spent glued to a screen. There are so many other things I could have been doing.

15 hours is excessive IMO and i’m surprised there are so many people saying it’s fine. It may not be unusual in this day and age for many young people to do what the OPs DD is doing but that doesn’t mean it’s healthy or desirable.

People dont like games as they usually dont understand the benefits (hand to eye co-ordination, problem solving, co-operative play, social aspects, being exposed to people from around the world, thinking outside the box extra.)

The benefits are fuck-all, compared to the benefits she'd get from doing these things (and others) outside her bedroom, face-to-face.

Stop kidding yourself with this rubbish.

Oh, and during the time I was playing, I was also holding down a job and studying. Just because I managed to function when I had to doesn’t mean all was fine.

Good luck policing how an almost 18 year old spends her free time.

Ah those were the days, I used to spend my entire half terms playing the Sims - all day several days in a row.

I managed to get a good job, have friends, a husband, children.

I wish I had the time to waste on computer games now! She will be fine, let her be lazy while she can

She needs to study. Relax too of course, but that amount gaming is excessive and worrying, unless it's a one off.

My dd coasted a lot in the first year of college. Then she got her year 1 results and a massive wake up call. She was truly gutted that she didn't try harder. She was vastly different in year 2. She didn't quite make it up and although scraped enough points to get into uni, although not the uni and course she really wanted.

I have the same concerns with my ds who is 15. It seems like an addiction to me - he turns down invitations from friends to go out in favour of gaming. I know it is viewed as normal these days but I hate it with a passion this constant obsession. I’m afraid I have made a rule this half term that he has to go out for at least a bit each day, I’ve made him organise a couple of games of golf with his friends and he has to come downstairs for 2 hours each day to do homework and revision and then help out with his younger brothers. The thing is that once he’s actually been out with his mates he is actually more likely to go out again and spend less time on the Xbox but it’s persuading him to go in the first place!

It’s an addiction for sure

I have a 15 year old on half term. Our deal is that if his school report in the run up to the break is to our satisfaction, he can do whatever he wants. If not, he's at tennis camp 5 hours/day.

He got a good report, so it's the former - he's probably on his computer 4 hours a day. I make occasional attempts to distract him from it with dog walking or lunch or whatever and that seems to do the trick.

15 hours is so extreme she's going to be unable to erase the images from her head when she's not playing. I do not think this falls in the normal range.

It's going to look great at interview or on her CV. Not.
It might be "normal" for gamers to WANT to game for 15 hrs a day. But it's not good.
An hour or so a day to unwind is fine. that's when it's OK for coordination and logic skills etc. When the hour or so a day is the only hour spent not gaming, then it's a problem.
We were all 18 yr olds wanting to slob about once. Whether we are now 30 yr olds still slobbing around or not is, I imagine, a fair bit to do with whether we were allowed to do it at home.

People dont like games as they usually dont understand the benefits (hand to eye co-ordination, problem solving, co-operative play, social aspects, being exposed to people from around the world, thinking outside the box extra.)

I agree 100% with Koala, stop fooling yourself with this nonsense.

Why are people so judgy about computer games?

Of course there are benefits to gaming (strategy etc) your brain doesn't switch off just because you are on a computer game. Better than passive activities like watching tv or reading

So she's at college and working and wants to choose how to spend her free time?

Couldn't get worked up in the slightest

Better than passive activities like...reading

Bahahahaha...seriously?!

Better than passive activities like watching tv or reading

I love reading but I wouldn't do it for 15 straight hours. It's not good for you to be so obsessed with something

It wouldn’t bother me really.. I played Sims as a teenager for 11 hours straight once - I only stopped because my laptop crashed and I lost over 3 hours of what I’d done. So I gave up and never played that family again haha.

My DH loves his games and used to spend all day and night on them (prechildren). Didn’t bother me then either.
He will sometimes spend a couple of hours in the morning or the evening playing. But then some days he won’t go on at all.

My husband used to be a games journalist and back in the day would spend obscene amounts of time playing games. He's barely touched the Xbox one he got last Christmas to be honest - we used it for Netflix more than games. He's obviously an advocate for games but even he says we will need to try and limit how much the boys play when they're old enough. I used to spend huge chunks of time playing games or watching films, before I got really into my art and various crafts. Now I have something tangible to show for hours of my time I feel a lot more constructive. Will see if it's vaguely possible to pass this on to the kids. Of course I don't have time for either these days!

If it's a one off, fine. If she's like this all weekend every weekend I'd be concerned.

The usual pattern for posts sees the first half dozen or so responses are from people who like to give a shocking or contrary opinion and like to get it seen, so post very quickly.
Just ignore them. 15 hours is excessive. As a one off I’d let it slide but it isn’t acceptable or ideal. My DCs spend excessive time on the Xbox. It drives me mad but I’m talking about 4-5 hours.

Kola .. genuine question what about makes reading such a special activity?! Is it because it's been around longer than gaming?

summat I think I read the order of the Phoenix in one sitting as a teen, definitely took me about 15 hours, and was definitely sleep disrupting!

I'm honestly amazed at the responses of "it's normal" from you mums, I thought it would be all "get her out of bed, make her contribute". My DS (16) does this all the time and it drives me nuts. He spends hours upon his in his bedroom, playing his keyboard, playing video games, on YouTube whatever whatever. I think it's bad, he only comes down for food or drink then it's straight back up there. I've spoken to him, but he's says it's his free time, he gets up to go to college (rarely late, never misses) and he's got a part time job which earns him a bit of cash.
Maybe this IS just how kids are?

I know it wasn't directed at me but the reason reading is special is because afterwards you know stuff. I know that ds has learned things from some games but the amount is minimal compared even to a short book.

Is it an online game?
Turn the internet connection off.
Just be prepared for a howling, screaming ball of venom when you do!

I can't believe anyone is comparing gaming to reading.