To be pissed off that DD has spent a good 15 hours playing video games today?

[VerityMichaels]

She’s still up now. Is 17 (18 in December).

It’s just annoying. She won’t roll out of bed until 11/12 tomorrow. She won’t go out with her friends (she is constantly getting messages off them and although texts them a lot, she says she “can’t be arsed to see them as she sees them every day at college” even though they have invited her to some really great places). She’s just so lazy.

Surely 15 hours (and counting) just isn’t healthy? She is working tomorrow evening, but from when she gets up at midday until 1 hour before she is due to start work, she will be playing it again.

Nightmare.

AIBU?

Swap gaming fir any activity done for 15 houra straight and not going out ans it's an issue.

It's just gamers getting defensuve and acting like nobody understands their hobby and people are mean to them.

Gaming - not an issue
Gaming for 15 hours - an issue

Gaming is still massively stigmatised IMO. Especially as an adult. Even more so as a woman.

Gaming is definitely stigmatised on here. It’s bad for you, it’s unhealthy, it’s childish, it’s addictive. Grown men who play video games are known as a “man child”. You see it on practically every thread.

15 hours of video games as a one off is perfectly okay. Not ideal, not healthy, but not dangerous or a sign of social isolation either.

The OP has said her DD holds down a job and goes to college. The chances of her managing this on any kind of regular basis are slim to none.

There's no suggestion that the OP's DD is falling behind in class or not sleeping. I'd probably gently suggest she get some fresh air or something but not bother too much in half term. I used to sleep and watch TV all day in school holidays.

I had moved out, had a job and was driving around at her age. I could certainly make my own decisions on what to do with my free time and didn't need it moderated by mummy

She's not a child now and she can play a game if she wants to.

JacquesHammer
Gaming is still massively stigmatised IMO. Especially as an adult. Even more so as a woman.

Debate that elsewhere then. Stigmatising of computer games has absolutely nothing to do with this thread. It's about someone's DD spending 15 hours a day doing it.

And just to add, I'm not a gamer. I haven't played a game since I had a brief flirtation with Everquest in 2002

I just don't think ONE day doing anything need be indicative of a wider problem. I intend to do nothing this weekend other than watch sport/box sets. I'll probably hit 15 hours. I am also a fully functioning adult

And if we are talking about comparisons, I would equally be concerned if my DD suddenly started going to the gym excessively (probably no one could manage 15 hours!) but if they started going daily or something, I too would monitor this, in case there was something more sinister going on. I wouldn't bury my head in the sand because 'exercise is healthy-at least she's not in her bedroom playing video games all the time'

Anything, just anything excessive is a worry. It's just some posters here think 15 hours straight, classes as excessive and some don't.

Debate that elsewhere then. Stigmatising of computer games has absolutely nothing to do with this thread. It's about someone's DD spending 15 hours a day doing it.

Actually it has everything to do with this thread because the response would have been very very different had it been 15 hours doing something different.

I see the usual infantilising of an adult woman is happening. It always amuses me that if a partner was trying to police a woman’s free time, the cries of LTB would be deafening, and yet it’s perfectly ok for a load of women to try and police another woman’s free time.

“It’s not normal” in who’s opinion? Normal is pretty subjective in my book. I don’t see the fascination for “binge watching” shite American telly, but I don’t think it’s abnormal.

I think there is a lot of odd thoughts on MN about late-teenage offspring (and mostly from people who’ve never had teenagers). The obsession that they should “do” something that the masses deem worthy is ridiculous. Why should they? In a year or so, they will be off into proper adulthood and the boring realities of life. It doesn’t hurt me at all if my DD stays in bed all day watching telly. It’s a damn sight better than having small children who want entertaining.

Swap gaming fir any activity done for 15 houra straight and not going out ans it's an issue.

That wasn't your original point. You were drawing parallels between gaming and drinking/gambling.

I don't think many would disagree that spending 15 hours straight on anything isn't ideal. I also don't think many would disagree that we don't always do the ideal in life. But that isn't solely related to gaming.

It's about someone's DD spending 15 hours a day doing it.

No, it's about her spending 15 hours on a single day doing it. I don't think anyone would be arguing that it was ok if she gamed for 15 hours every day, as that would mean she didn't go to college, she didn't work, she didn't do anything else. That's very far from the scenario we're talking about here.

Is she getting enough sleep, eating reasonably and taking enough breaks to avoid strain injuries?

Also what is the game? Some games can develop useful job skills for the future CV (esp MMRPGs).

Oh, and it’s incredibly disingenuous to say this isn’t about gaming. If the OP had said my DD has spent 15 hours reading War and Peace, everyone would be congratulating her on her superior parenting skills.

That wasn't your original point. You were drawing parallels between gaming and drinking/gambling.

Posters can't make more than one point? Usually, a post is in direct response to another, so one point may be focused on that in a particular post. Doesn't mean discussions can't evolve or postersonly think of one stance.

Debate that elsewhere then. Stigmatising of computer games has absolutely nothing to do with this thread.

Actually it has a massive bearing on this thread

Depends on the game

This threads fucking hilarious, she’s 17, she works and she’s at college. She’s perfectly able to choose her own down time. Leave her the fuck alone!

What’s made me laugh though is the picture that popped in my head of some of the posters on this thread having their phones whipped away from them saying they’ve been on mumsnet long enough and to go get some fresh air.

Posters can't make more than one point? Usually, a post is in direct response to another, so one point may be focused on that in a particular post. Doesn't mean discussions can't evolve or postersonly think of one stance.

She made one point. Then when it became apparently that the point was ridiculous she changed her point and treated it as if it was her point all along.

I have no issues with her having several points and I think I made it clear I completely disagree with her first point but agree with her second point.

As a parent of teens I accept the world has changed. We used to constantly try to control ds as he grew up via screen time ect. In the end we just could not really do a great deal as he got older. Dd had it easier as we learned about the new modern times through ds and moaned less at her constant phone or gaming habbits Your dd is 17 yrs so you can't really interfere too much from here on in. She is nearly classed as an adult now. Also she has a job and is at college so she is doing well and like others I agree it is her half term to do as she wishes.
However, routinely every night our modem goes off at midnight to stop the wifi to ensure everyone gets a good nights sleep as to not disturb each other. It works well for us. We have been doing this for as long as I remember so is just the norm really/so no big deal.

I probably spent similar amounts of time gaming at that age, text based MUD's though so mum probably thought I was studying XD

She will never get to enjoy herself like this again when she has full time career and kids. I used to book a week's holiday for each new World of Warcraft expansion but my 6 month old is going to scupper any future week long gaming plans :p

Imagine if someone's DH posted on mn that he was concerned about his wife gaming for 15 hours straight on a day off and should be turn it off/explain the dangers/demand she goes out for a Costa with friends

He'd be handed his arse, bollocks and knob on a plate

You need to step back, your child is almost an adult, and you need to stop yourself from going mad..
If you continue to go on like this the only person who will get upset is yourself, as your DD doesn't care...

15 hours playing civilization is just getting started

Bloody amateurs

Having a good titter here at the people saying the OP should take the girl's laptop away, stop her playing etc etc.
Do any of the PP advocating this actually have teens - and in this case, older teens?
Let her get on with her life - yes, you can 'gently suggest' 15 hours might be a bit much, but honestly, what planet are you on where you can confiscate a woman's game because you think she's been on it too long?
Now, I am sure there will be someone comes along to regale us with stories about their perfect - non-game playing - teen, but there always is.

It's not ideal but it's what I did with study days/term holidays in my youth when I was at college/uni and working. For me, it was just my way of unwinding, completely switching my brain off (academically speaking) and being engrossed in another world. It was either that or binge watching films through the day! I understand your concern but she's 17, there's not a lot you can do.