To be pissed off that DD has spent a good 15 hours playing video games today?

[VerityMichaels]

She’s still up now. Is 17 (18 in December).

It’s just annoying. She won’t roll out of bed until 11/12 tomorrow. She won’t go out with her friends (she is constantly getting messages off them and although texts them a lot, she says she “can’t be arsed to see them as she sees them every day at college” even though they have invited her to some really great places). She’s just so lazy.

Surely 15 hours (and counting) just isn’t healthy? She is working tomorrow evening, but from when she gets up at midday until 1 hour before she is due to start work, she will be playing it again.

Nightmare.

AIBU?

Wombling - I'm not sure thats what irony means?! If I'm in the house I would probably encourage them to get up and do stuff and move around. If they were at university I wouldn't have a clue what they're up to - they can do what they like - is all I meant. But the situation has never risen as yet and hope it never does. I just couldn't sit still for 15 hours so I guess in some ways your kids are influenced by your own behaviours.

I spent about 3-4 hours of my day on a hidden object mobile game yesterday. I'm 42.

I just couldn't sit still for 15 hours so I guess in some ways your kids are influenced by your own behaviours

She doesn't see me do it

My DC think my next day off, when cod ww2 comes out, is going to be spent studying for my ou degree. The fools

No but as a parent I try to raise kids to interact with the outside world because that's my job - to prepare them for life

The games may well include extensive interaction with the outside world. Teams are built carefully to include different skill sets and personalities, interviews held for roles on successful teams. Plans are built and executed. Relationships are built across audio and video comms and working together.

I spend a substantial part of every day working with teams in disparate areas across audio and video comms. Building and executing plans, analysing problems etc.

MMRPGs can be better job training than most people give them credit for.

I don’t play my games around my youngest either. Too violent.

Those who think that you’re sitting still have obviously never been in a fight to the death situation with an online random.

I like to watch how my DS manages to interact and build strategies with other players without using voice chat or messaging (too young for that yet). Ive had team building days that have included activities where you had to use non verbal communication and it's bloody hard face to face let alone being potentially thousands of miles apart using only emotes to communicate.

That’s yet to come for mine. My eldest is buying him live gold for Christmas so we’re branching out. Then I’m hiding my headset

He’s nearly 11 and still has no idea about social media and the like so I’m hoping to get away with it for a few years. I am looking forward to see how he interacts through gaming.

Jaqueshammer so you sit around for 15 hours playing games without your kids seeing

I used to binge on gaming in my student years. It was glorious. Playing RPGs in particular could keep me in front of the screen for most of the day. Now I have a backlog of games.

What you or her friends think of as being 'really great places' might not be to her taste, just as her gaming isn't to yours.

15 hours a day is a lot, but if it's a rarity during the holiday and she's not missing work or college, there's really not a problem.

I agree with all of the above, I played video games for as many hours as I could get away with as a teenager, which on some days in the holidays would be all day! My parents moaned a bit at the time, but it didn't stop me getting good grades, then 2 degrees and a decent job. I still play games now, and still like the occasional all-day binge but I probably only get the chance a few times a year. I don't agree that spending all day doing one thing automatically equals addiction unless there are other factors involved.

15 hours is a hell of a lot in one day, but presumably there aren't that many days where she gets the opportunity to do this! She is holding down a job and going to college. Is she playing the games online against friends?

OP, if you want to take it up with your DD, first make sure you are clear in your head exactly why you are not happy. Is it because it's something sedentary, because she's having a lie-in until late morning, because it seems antisocial, because 15 hours doing one thing seems too much (though would you still feel the same if it was a really long day out?) Or do you just not like video games? There really are worse hobbies, and gaming is brilliant downtime from work etc because it is so absorbing, your mind has to concentrate on what you are doing instead of stressing about life.

Its a bit worrying that so many people see this as "normal" - only read the first two pages of replies though.

Normal is not the same as healthy.

I think its very unhealthy and I would be concerned if my teenager was doing that. I would not enable it in any way as a regular occurence.

I'm getting divorced from my h because of video games. They create an unrealistic headspace and are very addictive.

My kids always had a life and a couple of hours playing as teens was sufficient.
Youngest doesn't play she's 13, they were raised to understand that toys and playing games were for when you are children.
It's saved us a fortune in consoles and games
I do think it's how you raise your kids, if you are into playing they will be too, if you don't regulate it yourself, they may struggle to.

I wouldn't call it normal as it isn't normal for us, it's quite normal for a lot of people though and it's up to them what they choose to do and how they raise their dc.

One off- not great but ok.

Regular thing- I'd be worried that she's depressed and addicted, or else that she'll become depressed and addicted. Spending 15 hours a day playing video games is not normal behaviour- it's mentally and physically unhealthy and precludes developing healthier habits.

For those saying you can't tell a 17yo what to do- that may be true. But if an adult friend of mine were doing this, I'd speak to her about it and suggest a trip to the GP might be order. I'd hardly do less for my own daughter.

It's not physically healthy to sit for that length of time. I've known two lads personally who died whilst at the screen. Both obsessed. One was 17 and my son's friend. The other older and my friend's bf. Neither were prven to be caused by gaming. But a lot of us think it's connected.

Proven *

Youngest doesn't play she's 13, they were raised to understand that toys and playing games were for when you are children.

That has got to be one of the most depressing things I've read in ages. Granted there are obviously age limits with toys but playing games is only for children? Like any games or just computer games? Surely everyone plays games even as adults.

We don’t have a games console in the house. Mainly to make sure that the kids get outside and do stuff.

This is interesting. The last thing friends plating online heard of ds's friend was him cough then it went silent.

I have spent many hours in the past gaming. I think the longest in one stretch was about 8 hours.

The problem with gaming is that it is addictive in the same way that gambling is. It’s always, ‘just this bit more. If I just try again. Now I’ve unlocked this bit.’ I agree that it is better mentally that binge watching tv as you are having to think, however with tv watching there are natural breaks and things end. Some games you can keep going almost endlessly.

15 hours is too much. One day, ok. If it’s every day no.

And I say this as someone with over 12 games consoles and an arcade machine.

To all the people who play computer games with their children, there's nothing wrong with that but surely you can tell there's a difference between playing for an hour then doing something else, compared with 15 hours sat in front of a screen. No one would willingly want their child to do that.

Freakin it’s worse in Korea. There have been a number of cases like this. Even worse there have been cases where babies and children have starved as the parents are so busy gaming that they forget to feed them.

However this is a world away from the OP’s dd.

One day of 15 hours is excessive but not dreadful and no one is going to die.

A very quick google reveals that that poor man had a medical condition and his doctor had ordered him to rest, he ignored this advise and instead went in a 19 hour game binge, which definitely wouldn't have helped but I doubt would be the sole cause of him dying.

That sounds awesome - lucky girl! I wish I could waste time like that now I'm an adult. If it's a one-off, or even a 2-off, I wouldn't worry about it.

BTW, she might be playing the game with friends.

gamerchick

It’s just really sad that some parents won’t at least attempt to see what all the fuss is about with their kids. It really just is another level of bonding. How many kids would be tickled pink at their mother asking them to teach them how to play the game they’re into? It’s just a shame I think that being an adult means being closed minded.

^ This so much. So well said.

MaisyPops

It kinda was ridiculous though. As people hilariously pointed out with more straw man suggestions.