To be pissed off that DD has spent a good 15 hours playing video games today?

[VerityMichaels]

She’s still up now. Is 17 (18 in December).

It’s just annoying. She won’t roll out of bed until 11/12 tomorrow. She won’t go out with her friends (she is constantly getting messages off them and although texts them a lot, she says she “can’t be arsed to see them as she sees them every day at college” even though they have invited her to some really great places). She’s just so lazy.

Surely 15 hours (and counting) just isn’t healthy? She is working tomorrow evening, but from when she gets up at midday until 1 hour before she is due to start work, she will be playing it again.

Nightmare.

AIBU?

Lethaldrizzle

It’s the joys of living on a off grid small holding! It’s a harder way of life but I love every second of it

There's

My 13 year old is a bit weird tbh, never been one for toys but will still play board games, or pool when she comes home.
She's not into computers and games or science/maths stuff.

Atm half term aside she is regularly hiding handsets to consoles so the boys have to go out and play football, some other sport, or socialise on the adventure playground.
Some parents have thanked her for encouraging their children to get fresh air as they have limited free time and don't want them on consoles too much. House staff appreciate her efforts too and the kids do once they are outside.
It's everything in moderation though, come winter time and darker earlier evenings I'm sure they will spend a bit more time on the consoles.

I'm not against consoles our grown up dc had/ have them and we bought them for them when younger. We just didn't replace when new ones came out and limited access and choice of games/ age related.
Dd uses computer programmes for composing and arranging as that's her thing. I'm sure lots of people would find this boring.

If she is working and doing well at school, I wouldnt worry. Remember that this is her down time. I sometimes spend days playing a game but manage to get all my other work/jobs/childcare done. The other option is that she could end up with her face glued to a phone all day

ImKait
I know!
I have already said that excessive going to the gym is an issue too.

The thing with gaming is that like box set watching, gambling and drinking it is addictive. Some studies have shown social media has a similar effect.

My point still stands: if you changed gaming to online bingo or something then all the people going 'it's just a game. Seriously how judgey are people about gamers!' would have reacted very differently. The thing is adult gamers seem to feel like they are some poor marginalised group so what we got was loads of defensive posts about how it's only a game and it's uo to the DC to decide how she spends her time etc.

At the end if the day spending 15 hours doing something and ignoring friends and being glued to said activity is not healthy or normal (however much poor me gamers want to say otherwise).

The other option is that she could end up with her face glued to a phone all day

There are many, many, many options that don't involve being glued to screens all day.

It's not like if she doesn't game for 15 hours she'll need to be glued to her phone. If someone's life seriously revolves around screen time then they need to get a life and see what more the world has to offer.

My dd is 13 and is a gamer but mainly on her laptop or 3ds, we don't own a Xbox or PlayStation. She would happily spend all day doing it and during half term I have to compromise a little, today she has spent the morning looking after her sister whilst I was at work, she will spend the afternoon on her laptop but I have told her that tomorrow we will be going out. Yesterday we went out to do a activity, I do have to drag her out, sometimes she complains but I refuse to let her game every day when she's off school. We live in a rural location so she can't go out with friends, she does Skype them instead but isn't really bothered about meeting up out of school.

Just maybe she’s fed up of hanging round other people’s houses / window shopping /hanging in Nando’s talking about the same shite.

MaisyPops

But you chose to compare it to gambling/drinking and not exercise/reading.

Gaming is stigmatised, which frustrates people, so rightly they will defend it. Then on top of that to compare it to gambling/drinking!

If this was every day, no one here would defend 15 hours/day of gaming. The same would be true of reading, exercise, spelunking, mumsnetting or anything.

Also bear in mind the language in this thread - the OP was "pissed off" and not "concerned" or "worried".

'Atm half term aside she is regularly hiding handsets to consoles so the boys have to go out and play football, some other sport, or socialise on the adventure playground.'

So rude.

ImKait
Yes, I did. Because people would have zero issue seeing that spending 15 hours doing gambling wpuld be a problem.
Gaming is stigmatised, which frustrates people, so rightly they will defend it.
Except it's not really. No more than people taking the piss out of fitness freaks (o get playfully laughed at by my friends for my gym habit). Many people have said there's no issue with people playing on a games console.

The thing is that most people with a healthy enjoyment of something will get on with it (gaming included).

The only people who get defensive and 'poor me' about how gaming is stigmatised are self-declared gamers who love to feel like the world hates their hobby choice.

The only people who get defensive and 'poor me' about how gaming is stigmatised are self-declared gamers who love to feel like the world hates their hobby choice

I categorically believe gamers are stigmatised, women gamers even more so. Gaming isn't my hobby or something I ever participate in for fun.

Because there are other issues around gambling and drinking. People would equally be defending this (and I would be calling your point ridiculous) if the DD spent 15 hours reading.

Now with your second half you're being ridiculous. I have never seen or heard of anything like the stigma attached to gaming with going to the gym. Many people in my office go to the gym and are perfectly open about it (I go daily). I know professional people who game who are terrified to confess their hobby because of the impact it could have on their work.

But there is a cross over between gaming and gambling surely? Things like online poker. It's all got degrees of addiction.

I can't believe people are saying 15 hours is normal!

Imkait that's cos lots of people think it's weird. How you change that perception I have no idea. But they have every right to think what they want to think. Alot of people think cos play is weird or wife swapping but the people who do it, don't.

That gaming is comparable to drinking or gambling is ridiculous.

To slightly re-word that sentence would be what Maisy is referring to but many are enjoying ignoring.

That 15 hours straight of gaming is comparable to 15 hours straight of gambling or drinking

15 hours without a break, drinking (even just once in a Half Term). Anyone would be worried

Because a one off binge session could have serious repercussions even as part of an otherwise healthy lifestyle. And for a 15 year old even more so.

15 hours without a break, gambling (even just once in a Half Term). Anyone would be worried

Because again significant financial repercussions, not to mention illegal.

15 hours without a break, gaming. Seems to be fine by some on here because it's gaming, don't you know?

It isn't fine because it's gaming: it's fine IN SPITE of that. I wouldn't be bothered about 15 hours reading or drawing or watching TV because there's no significant risk.

Exactly kitty

I know professional people who game who are terrified to confess their hobby because of the impact it could have on their work.
Terrified!? Right..
Grown adults wirh a reasonable hobby think their professional life will be hindered if they admit to owning an x box?

As this thread shows, most people don't care that much if someone plays a game but if they are obsessive over it then maybe people will view it funny. How much yime must yhey spend doing it of they are actually ashamed to share what they do?

Shocked at people saying it's normal. I disagree. For one thing it's really bad for your bones to sit still for hours on end!

Shocked at people saying it's normal. I disagree. For one thing it's really bad for your bones to sit still for hours on end!

Guess we should sack everyone with an office job, then!

Ok Jacques, your responses show to me that drinking and gambling are worse to most because there is physical health and money involved. Exactly what a lot of us have said about the common perceptions of addiction.

Anything involving tech, for long and sustained periods of time, be that online chat (like Mumsnet), binge watching tv, using a smartphone constantly or in dangerous situations and gaming, all seem to be a more acceptable form of addiction, because it starts off being a mild.
I've seen what it can do to young people if completely unregulated or going unnoticed but rarely gets the support other forms of addiction get, mostly due to a lot liking the fact that it keeps our teenagers quiet.

Guess we should sack everyone with an office job, then!

The law recognises that it is a bad idea. There should be regular breaks away from a desk/screen and those 'breaks' should be stretching or looking away from the screen at least once every hour. Display Screen Regulations in the Health and Safety Act.

I've seen what it can do to young people if completely unregulated

And yet in the case of the OP's DD it isn't completely unregulated as she's working and going to college. So a hobby as part of a normal life.

Grown adults wirh a reasonable hobby think their professional life will be hindered if they admit to owning an x box?

Similar threads on MN quite clearly show why people won't admit to even owning an Xbox as an adult!

And yet in the case of the OP's DD it isn't completely unregulated as she's working and going to college

Eh? So just because she goes to college/working, she can't or won't become more addicted? All the Sixth Formers I have encountered with serious issues all regularly turned up to Sixth Form and some had part time jobs/extra curricular activities too. It's why they were so damn exhausted because a lot of the time, they'd be up in the night with their 'hobby'.

Just to clarify, I am not saying that the OP's DD is badly addicted. Merely that there is no harm in having a chat or keeping an eye on the situation, rather than just brush 15 hours straight off as 'normal' with nothing to worry about.

Edit: I've just read this back to proof read and sorry if it comes across as aggressive