To think this "friendly guy" has crossed the line and I should tell his wife?

[revolution909]

There's this guy in my running club he's shy in person but not so much on social media. He's married I know his wife. There have been a few red flags here and there but mostly I assumed he was just being friendly... Well he sent me this DM today:

"This is such an inspiring image you've come so far and will continue on your quest to achieve your goals ps I need to borrow your abs xx"

Ive already deleted him/blocked him but also thinking of telling his wife.

If you don’t like him liking your posts then block him.

Also, some people don’t understand social media etiquette of PMs etc.

Go ahead tell his wife then.
What are you planning on saying exactly?

I don't think the pm bit is off. I only talk with people over text/WhatsApp/fb private chat. If you really are uncomfortable then you need to raise with wife but I don't think there is anything to tell tbh. It may be he is messaging in others Instagram accounts but only private ones so you can't see them.

I'm going to go against the grain here...

op if your instinct is telling you something is off... it probably is.

I'd be pretty pissed off with my dh was actively following some one about social media and placing xxx at the end of it.

Ok sure saying "your husband sent me a PM" sounds dumb I get it. I know we're all individuals and we all act/react in different ways. So maybe that's how he lives his online life and I'm just being paranoid. That's why these posts are so great, as they give you an array of opinions rather than just "he's a creep"

if your instinct is telling you something is off... it probably is

This is exactly what I would usually think if someone is bothered by something, but I just can't see it here, to be honest.

I don't think it'll go well if you tell his wife. Just block him on insta.

I'd block anyone that made me feel uncomfortable. I'd probably let them have contact with me if I liked it though

Well I know it wouldn't bother me if he was single

But he’s not single so block him and stop worrying about it.

Have you blocked him yet?

What's all this 'telling the wife '

Tell HIM that you don't like his messages in simple language and let it lie

Sheesh

I'm getting nothing from this either.

I read your original thread and I still believe you are liking the attention, why would you even start a new thread? What opinions are different from the first?

Well is actuallyy got from the first post that most people called him a "chancer" /up to no good. Oddly enough it looks like the opinion has changed in the updated version. I also discussed this with a group of running friends the vast majority thought this had gone too far, but they're not married so I think we're a bit OTT about the wife.

If you’ve blocked him already, I’m sure the situation has already resolved itself, OP.

I would expect him to give you a wide berth now.

Well is actuallyy got from the first post that most people called him a "chancer" /up to no good

Who are “most people”? Did you do a survey monkey?

I don’t think it sounds suspicious to be honest, usual (if a little ott) comments you’d get in running/fitness clubs. If you don’t like it though tell him or block him. Can’t see a need to tell the wife though.

I think your instincts are probably right in that he likes you. But you would sound deranged if you said anything to his wife at this point. If it was me I'd probably just ignore him, unless it escalates.

I think you're seeing things that aren't there. Maybe becausd you're a little bit flattered?

Nothing untoward there. People at my fitness group (male and female) do that sort of thing.

I think telling his wife is looking for trouble and stiring the pot.

If you are concerned then pull back a little and make sure ypur replies are only friendly but otherwise chill out. He sounds nice

He’s probably got a little crush. Doesn’t mean he will ask you out

I suspect this is one of those situations where the isolated comments don't sound like much, but they all add up to male you feel uneasy given that you know he's married. I've been there - it's not any one thing they say, but the cumulative effect of the comments together. I get it.

And as for the "gee, can't men even be nice anymore?" comments, give me a break! Married men leaving frequent compliments and kisses for a single woman, then starting to make those comments privately? Oh how nice! Definitely no chance of an ulterior motive 🙄

oh good grief, what a drama llama. An alternative to blocking might have been to adjust your settings so he sees less posts. I get it, it feels creepy, thats your take on it, but talking it over with friends, posting on mn twice, thinking of telling his wife????? Really, get more hobbies.

Well now you’ve deleted and blocked him and as he doesn’t really talk to you in real life then the problem is sorted isn’t it?

Instagram have just changed their comments/replies feature so it sends private messages as default sometimes, instead of leaving them as comments. Happened to me a few times, and made me look weirdly intense eg. Pming an old work colleague to tell them I like their cat. Any chance this happened here?