To think this "friendly guy" has crossed the line and I should tell his wife?

[revolution909]

There's this guy in my running club he's shy in person but not so much on social media. He's married I know his wife. There have been a few red flags here and there but mostly I assumed he was just being friendly... Well he sent me this DM today:

"This is such an inspiring image you've come so far and will continue on your quest to achieve your goals ps I need to borrow your abs xx"

Ive already deleted him/blocked him but also thinking of telling his wife.

I have 2 or 3 male friends who are very active on my social media, liking stuff I post most of the time. My next door neighbour (happily married) pms from time to time about pretty ordinary stuff and sometimes ends with a x. All perfectly innocuous, I'm an ordinary 59 year old with little allure!

That being said, I'm a great believer in a person's spidery instinct when something feels off. If it's making you uncomfortable..it's making you uncomfortable, and you have a perfectly good reason to block.

No need to ask for randoms on here whether you are justified or not. Trust your own instinct on whether his behaviour feels inappropriate to you.

I actually do think it’s a bit creepy.

Tell his wife his wife what exactly?
That she had a lovely, friendly husband?
People (men) can’t even be nice anymore, without being labelled as a creep or inappropriate.

It's maybe a little bit creepy and maybe not. The posts themselves are hardly OTT, but the constant liking of everything is, a bit.

However, different people use social media differently. It's absolutely fine for you to block seeing his posts if they make you uncomfortable. I think it would be very harsh to tell his wife, though. I don't think he's done anything 'wrong'.

EastMidsMummy exactly! It's a but like those inkblot test people see different things and there no real.correct answer.

Is it only on Instagram that he does all the liking or fb too?

I would find it seriously weird if one of the men (or women) in my running group sent me PMs like that. Maybe the organizer, but not some random. Our running groups chats are all public and all "I hurt my foot" "here's the number for my physio" type. Not "love your hair and abs".

StickThatInYourPipe some on Facebook but mostly on Instagram and Strava.

My DP likes every single image on Instagram, even the ones he didn’t actually like as he had said that it would be rude to ignore them and they would know if he didn’t like them.
It’s sweet, he hasn’t yet grasped the full concept of social media and is just trying to be nice to people.
If another woman messaged me to tell me my partner had been liking her social media posts I would laugh at her.

I think you are reading too much into it OP. Do you fancy him? If not there is always a block button?

Well given my suspicions I checked what he has liked on Instagram and to be fair it hasn't been that much! It's been mostly my posts

revolution909 sounds like he is liking stuff that is coming up on his feed. If it's not as often on fb, he may have more friends on there so your posts are more diluted.

ime men who pm you are chasing you

:)

@revolution909

How did you do that?
As far as I’m aware you can’t check which images another user has like on Instagram. Under notifications and then following you can see a short update of the images people you have followed have liked in the last few minutes but no full and complete history of what they have liked.
Correct me if wrong, I would love to be able to see every image some people have liked on Instagram.

Well let's put it this way.. he likes 100% of all the stuff I post on all three feeds. He doesnt comment on FB, on half of the running app and most of the Instagram.

@tempstamos if you keep scrolling down minutes will turn to hours / days / weeks .

I think you're over-reacting. Just sounds friendly to me. I have a fairly recent completely platonic male friend and we like lots of each others' stuff - we just have shared interests. Never really thought anything of it.

@revolution909

So he likes your posts (could be liking everyone else’s also), never comments on Facebook and sometimes but not always comments on the running app and Instagram.
Please tell his wife.

Does he like other people’s stuff and comment?

Why would you not just tell him to stop, why contact his wife at this point.

I'm pretty sensitive to red flags, but I'm getting none here OP.

If any of these comments were from a woman, would you bat an eyelid?

Unless there's going to be a massive dripfeed, this Ive already deleted him/blocked him but also thinking of telling his wife is a bit of an overreaction imo.

God how long did you scroll for just to see who else’s images he has liked?
Maybe he mainly follows private accounts, so you won’t be able to see those images?

Oh for fucks sake.

You posted about this man recently and were told to block him.

You didn’t and have started another thread.

I have this horrible impression that you like the attention and the drama.

You have said that you barely know him (or his wife) and have said about two words to him, so block him already and stop all this unnecessary handwringing.

If someone revealed that to me about my husband I would laugh in their face. You are massively overreacting and seeing something that isn’t there.

He has liked other stuff and commented nothing beyond "well done" but not the cheesy type that I get... What I have thought is that his wife can read Facebook but not the other two, thus why he prefers to communicate via the other two.apps. I don't think you private message someone just because... Especially when whatever he said could have been done publicly.