To want to get my entire boob out and breastfeed whilst wearing pyjamas to breakfast in a hotel.

[SmileEachDay]

Just...the JUDGEMENT.

If you are going to get your tits out for the bubba, not the lads, make sure you are wearing appropriate nipple make up.

You need crocs. Yellow ones. You can borrow mine.

You could be on NetMums on your phone op.
BOOM!

Hahaha yep! Perhaps that one would be a diagram too far!

You're missing a trick!

You need to be changing baby on the table whilst BF with your boob out. Take a selfie of you doing it and post on SM saying

This is a finger up to all you judgemental people who get dressed for breakfast in public, change baby in a toilet and don't feel the need to show a boob just to make a point you're BF

The bare trotters are non negotiable.

Bellowing mother to 2 children:

"Pretzel and Coriander?
Precious ones, move away from those...those... barbarians. NOW.
'Common' may be catching, I fear."

Can you fuck her off Smile? Maybe steal her ukulele?

I hope you're not taking the teenagers out of school IN TERM TIME?

They're never going to get 9 a*s and above and get accepted at Oxbridge at this rate you know!

Don't forget to ask the hotel to put Jeremy Kyle on the breakfast room tv.

Kiddingme
It's a loo, dear, not 'a 'toilet'.

Toilet is so working class!

I hope you're making sure you apply your make up whilst having your breakfast?

I’ve tried Count.

But she just keeps following me.

Playing.
The.
Fucking.
Tiny.
Guitar.

It’s not even a proper ukulele.

I have a question! Have there been actual, real usage of 'boobie juice'? Is that something real people say in real life?

Did you log it with 101

"The bare trotters are non negotiable."

Well, bare apart from the chipped bubble gum pink tootsie nail polish, unnaturally.

The use of booby juice?

I’m not sure 101 could help.

Are there bananas? Peel lots, drop a trail of skins behind you.

If all else fails: shout, "you're ruining my day with your fucking imitation ukulele, bitch!"

What kind of pyjamas are you going to wear?

Is it a buffet breakfast?

^ important questions