To refuse lift to smoker because she smells?

[florapearl]

Obviously not as blunt as that but she lights up just before getting in the car and it stinks. So AIBU to tell her to get the bus if she can't wait?

lettuce

Thanks for the reply, but it seems like you are talking about actual smoke, as in people puffing smoke onto fabrics which isn't in dispute. I'm asking about this transfer from fabric to fabric thing. I just can't accept the argument that if I have a cigarette and then you give me a lift that the car will reek for a considerable amount of time afterwards. I accept that I will reek, but I don't see how this is transferred to upholstery. If I smeared my self with dog shit and sat in your car, sure, I get it. If I smoked in your car I get it to an extent, but just being in it after having smoked? Seems like a stretch to me.

* Don't tell her she smells, it's unkind and quite spiteful. Just make up and excuse as to why you can't give her a lift*

This is pathetic. Why should Op be made to lie? It’s not unkind and spiteful, it’s the simple actual truth - she stinks of smoke, which is disgusting and the OP is quite right to not want that horrible smell (and carcinogenic particles) left in her car. Urgh. The smoker probably can’t smell it but why should OP suffer from her gross habit?

Nah, you’re not unreasonable. I’m asthmatic and pregnant. Smokers aren’t allowed in my car. I’ve had asthma for over 20 years, and I’m only 31!

As an asthmatic for over 20 years, for those who just cannot believe the stench stays in your clothes, it does. FFS. Open your mind and stop being so self centred. My dad smoked, he’s a selfish man, knowing his young daughter has bad asthma, it meant getting in his car would set off an asthma attack, even when he wasn’t allowed to smoke in the car. I’d have to bring my rescue inhaler, and use it before even getting in the car. Just being in the car would get the stench in my clothes.

OP, I would tell her exactly why she wasn’t allowed in my car. You smoke before you get in, you stink, I don’t want the stink in my car, because I don’t want my car to smell like nasty smoke, even for a couple days. It’s one of the many reasons why I don’t smoke!

My FIL used to smoke, before I met my husband. If he still smoked when trying to meet my newborn, I’d be very angry. Smoking around a baby, especially a newborn, is really bad for them and their little lungs.

www.babycentre.co.uk/x1048535/will-smoking-outside-protect-my-baby-from-second-hand-smoke

My dad won’t be seeing my baby when she’s a newborn, mostly because we live 4500 miles away from each other. But, he better not try to light up before meeting my daughter. He will be disappointed when I tell him he’s not holding her.

I am still laughing at "narrow-minded oiks". Oh dear.

I wouldn’t let a smoker in my car. If you think you don’t smell afterwards, you are deluded.

ethelfleda, not every ex-smoker feels superior or venomous towards smokers. I'm personally just really happy that I managed to quit and it was relatively painless, some smokers are not so fortunate and have a horrendous time quitting.

My sense of smell is acute; it was always keen but since quitting it's worse. I can smell burning quite often where there is none and smells that didn't really used to register now do. That said, cigarette smoke is abhorrent to me, ditto the smell of petrol (which some people adore), but that doesn't linger and cigarette smoke just does.

Rhubarb - the house that the soft toy transitted in for one day (PILs' house) was indeed being smoked in - but only once or twice a day by FIL. Admittedly, it was cigars (or cigarillos - not sure as SIL used to get them for him and he never ever smoked them in front of us). The house used to reek of smoke - even ds from the age of 4 would comment (not in front of his grandparents though) on the smell. (He's now 17 and tells me he still holds his breath when he is passing a smoker in the street and doesn't like being around those of his friends who smoke while they are smoking)

The wrapped present did indeed reek for 2 weeks after we unwrapped it. maybe it wouldn't have if it had been wrapped in plastic - but it was just Christmas paper. Maybe the long "fur" trapped more of the smell.

I'm with lettuceWrap. Stayed in a non-smoking hotel room at the weekend and a smoker had clearly slept in the bed the previous night or used the pillowcase. I could smell it.

I've opened countless eBay parcels over the years that have let out a waft of smoke when opened.

We once had a second-hand car that had been smoked in and, even after 6 years of ownership, I could still smell it and was glad to be rid of the car.

Yes, I have a sensitive nose. But please don't pretend for a moment that it doesn't smell. It does.

Yes bublebubletop , My friends are polite they do not just "Pop" by. No ash trays in my house, human or other!

Norm.. I agree you can smell the vile smell for ever especially in a car. I would not buy a car if it smelt of smoke

I've never smoked, but I'm old enough to remember the days when we all came back from the pub stinking of fag smoke. I'm even old enough to remember when there was a smoking section on the plane and I had to ask the stewardess to move me, as I was 2 rows behind the smoking section (why bother??) and one man was smoking cigars.

Life is so much nicer now. Cigarette smoke really lingers. I bought a top off an ebay seller the other day and, although it was clean, it absolutely stank of cigarettes, as did the plastic packaging. It made my whole bedroom smell (I opened in there) and I've washed it twice, but it still smells. I think I'm going to have to send it to the charity shop.

I would give a one off lift to a smoker, but not commit on a regular basis, unless you felt comfortable enough with her to say "I hate the smell of smoke, especially in an enclosed area. Please don't smoke for an hour beforehand if you want a lift". I think that's fair enough.

Oh dear......

Stayed in a non-smoking hotel room at the weekend and a smoker had clearly slept in the bed the previous night or used the pillowcase. I could smell it. You won the 'most over the top claim' prize.

Ethal, I think you may have hit the nail on the head - some people have an extremely good sense of smell, and some don't! There's a huge variation.

You won the 'most over the top claim' prize

I think not! What that poster said is far more plausible than what some are claiming! Some here can detect cigarette smoke from miles away! Even if no one is currently smoking!

Rubarb, no it's not smoke, as the same think happens when a particular heavy smoker attends the surgery (again, 10min in close proximity is enough to make DH wool jacket smell). Mind you, DH thinks it maybe not coming off the clothes, but directly out of the lungs of the patient

Before the days of smoking being banned in pubs and restaurants, dh and I used to hate it if one of us had a night out without the other. We'd come home and reek of smoke, even though neither of us has ever smoked. The issue would be worse in my case because the smell would get into my hair - dh didn't have much and even less now

It would only go away once I'd showered and washed my hair.

If we'd been out together it would be less of an issue as we'd both smell.

Thankfully that is no longer an issue because pubs are no longer a fug of smoke

Really, OP? Open the window. She’s not smoking in the car. I would always give a friend a lift, stinky or not. We all have our shortcomings.

• Lol, do none of you ever fart in the car or have a slight bit of BO?

Or had a child with a shitty nappy/ being carsick and vomiting?*

Everybody farts, part of being alive, that smell doesn’t linger for hours. BO, well, I don’t think I have any friends who do have BO but if they did I could manage to discreetly tell them as I’ve had to do with employees once or twice. Child being sick or doing a nappy poo, can’t be helped, we have all been there if we are parents. But this lady is making a CHOICE to smoke just before getting in someone else’s car who is a non smoker and that’s just not right. OP can also make a choice - not to have a smoker in her car. It’s not an element of life like farting or baby doing a poo. It’s a chosen habit.

This isn't a debate about whether a smoker smells after a cigarette though. Of course they do a bit.

It's whether you can put up with that smell when giving them a lift. It wouldn't bother me. I'd open the window.

I'd rather eat a cigarette than tell a friend they "reek" and they're not welcome in my car. It's so rude and self absorbed.

Nope. Smokers don't come in my house or my car. Other than the fact that I have a very strong sense of smell and smoke is my absolute worst smell, DD is asthmatic and it sets her off.

YANBU - I wouldn't lie though.

Ask her to put her coat in the boot (and keep the heater on low, no, that's mean!) and explain you find cigarette smoke bringss on your allergies.

For me it's not just the smell it's the chemicals that cling and they would cause me to have an asthma attack.... they take 20-30 mins to go

www.nhs.uk/chq/pages/2289.aspx?categoryid=53

sunandmoonshine what a disgusting comment . Some of us have standards.

Rude to tell someone they smell of smoke?? Its very rude of a smoker to expect people to put up with their stink .