To refuse lift to smoker because she smells?

[florapearl]

Obviously not as blunt as that but she lights up just before getting in the car and it stinks. So AIBU to tell her to get the bus if she can't wait?

I had to move seats the other day because the man sat next to me smelt so badly of cigarettes out. Yanbu.

YANBU
I don't allow my mother in my car, home or near my newborn because she's a smoker.

Smokers make a choice that breathe in toxic fumes, I don't.

I don't allow my mother in my car, home or near my newborn because she's a smoker. That's actually terrible.

*Lol, do none of you ever fart in the car or have a slight bit of BO?

Or had a child with a shitty nappy/ being carsick and vomiting?

Your being so precious! All those things are FAR worse and stronger then cigarette smoke off someone's clothes.

Don't worry OP, chances are you car stinks anyway!*

Yes all of those are true and do happen the difference being they don't leave harmful toxins for weeks later.

You are not unreasonable to refuse a lift for any reason. And I know what you mean. Even smokers who only smoke outside don't realise how much it smells, and how long it lingers.

We all get changed when we get back from PIL's house, because even though they never smoke inside, it lingers on them and still manages to make our clothes smell.

YANBU - with the greatest of respect to those who choose to smoke, they don't realise how much it lingers and how awful it smells to a non smoker and stale smoke on clothes is revolting. Someone further up made the comment about tradesmen, to be honest if I had someone come to my house to give a quote and they smelt strongly of smoke I wouldn't employ them.

I have dogs in the boot of my car and I'd rather have that including their farts than the toxic fumes and stench of smoke.

The OP hasn’t said she can’t have a lift.

Just that she doesn’t want to give her a lift if she can’t wait until she is dropped off to have one.

Sounds perfectly reasonable to me.

I've never been a smoker but dh is and our car/ house etc doesn't stink.

I bet it does, you're just used to it.

@derxa what @bottlesandcans said isn't terrible. What's terrible is that someone who will be handling a newborn or child doesn't ensure that they aren't smoky beforehand. If they can't be considerate enough to remove deadly toxins (easily done with a shower, clean clothes, no smoking for at least an hour beforehand etc before visiting) from their person prior to seeing their grandchild then they don't deserve to!

Fucking hell, I am SO glad that I don't have the same selfish, entitled people in my life that are popping up on here. Then again, I don't have that kind of 'I'll smoke where I fucking like, leave shit stains on your loo seat, and crack off eggy farts in your face' type of person in my friendship group or family, thank fuck.

Fortunately, my friends and family are decent, considerate people who care about others, and not selfish, entitled, arseholes who think the world revolves around them, and everyone should bow to their filthy stench of stale smoke!

'What did people do before the smoking ban?' some people ask! What people did was tolerate your stinky disgusting stench of cigarettes, polluting their lungs and their clothes and their hair, deal with passive smoking, and choke and gag on the fucking smoke.

When I was a child/teen, my parents had people visiting and lighting up, and filling our home with cigarette smoke, and my parents didn't have the nerve to say 'please don't.'

So I was forced upstairs to my bedroom, because the smoke make me fucking choke, and my parents had a house that stunk of smoke half the time, because of selfish, entitled twats who didn't give a fuck about anyone else being affected by their cigarette smoke. I know many a person who can tell of the same experience.

Why do you narrow minded oiks on this thread think the smoking ban came into force at ALL? To protect non smokers from the selfish entitled arseholes who think everyone should have to tolerate their disgusting habit, and stink of cigarette smoke as much as they do.

They are completely oblivious to how much they STINK, how much their clothes, house, car, and breath stink, how they are affecting their health, and how, by the age of 45-50 years old, they look 10-12 years older than people of their age who don't smoke.

Many smokers are completely obnoxious, entitled, and fucking selfish. AND in denial.

And the most disgusting of all smokers, are the ones who smoke around children, or when they're pregnant.

If it's because she is a smoker and there is a whiff of smoke then YABU and precious. Just get some fabreeze for the car.

If it's because she lights up and has one right before getting in the car so it's very fresh and disgusting then YANBU.

Tell her you're happy to do lifts but because you don't wish your car to smell of smoke you would like her not to smoke bwfore you give a lift.

Some people really are rather head-in-the-sand when it comes to the effects of smoking. If you're okay to do that to yourself then fine - I have the occasional cigarette when I'm drinking so I don't judge. But the fact is it's harmful for you and other people. Imagine if it were asbestos we were talking about!

Brilliant post sunandmoonshine

ALSO, I had to tolerate (for many years) people smoking in the WORKplace, and I would sit there gagging and choking, with my eyes streaming.

And they got very sniffy and pissed off when it was (quite rightfully) banned in the workplace!

SHAME

Thanks @Tuileries

As many PPs have said, it isn’t just the smell! I don’t fancy breathing in third hand smoke toxins. Plus if someone has recently had a fag, it sets off my asthma. So pearl clutching or not, I’m not going to be giving a smoker a lift. Unless it has been twenty mins since they had a fag and they’ve put on clean clothes. My six month old was a preemie and had a cardiac arrest at a couple of weeks old. I do feel sad that her Grandad hasn’t met her yet. I would feel far more sad if we put someone else’s desire to meet her over her health needs.

Your car, your choice.

Personally I would not give a lift to a smoker simple as that

As I've said I don't smoke. It does stink. I do think doing somebody a good turn, not treating my mother like a leper, stopping to give a friend with a fag on at a bus stop trumps having a permanently fresh smelling car and house.
The irony is the car drivers outraged at having a lingering smell in their beloved cars are pumping out noxious carcinogens on strangers in much greater quantities.

As for the 3rd hand smoke argument. Walking down busy road main road or sitting next to a plug in is more toxic.

in their beloved cars are pumping out noxious carcinogens on strangers in much greater quantities.

This is not actually true. I don't want to get into a debate about it but cigarette smoke is far more toxic.

Does this apply to any bad odours or just a cigarette smell? Body odour, bad breath or flatulence can be quite offensive. Some people can't stand strong perfume or the smell of dogs. Where do you draw the line?

Where the smell gets ingrained in the fabric of the car seat. BO, bad breath and flatulence don't.

Smoking and dogs do.

Walking down busy road main road or sitting next to a plug in is more toxic.

Now that's just bloody stupid.

I'm an ex-smoker and I hated the smell even when I smoked. It's the reason I gave up. Smoking and smokers stink. It doesn't matter whether they think they do or not, they DO. There are degrees of stink but frankly, does that matter? It stinks!

Nobody has mentioned the 'stickiness' of whatever is in the cigarette smoke and the effect on fabrics yet but I will. It feels tacky and that's possibly why the smell lingers.

You can walk behind somebody who has just been smoking and smell it strongly on them still. You can smell the stale smoke for ages after that and all the breath mints and perfumes/deodorants can't cover it up, even if you think they do. I get asked now 'Do I smell of smoke' by colleagues as we're going into a meeting... and they do. What should I say? You just can't cover it up, it's the most insidious stench.

Vaping I have no issue with, the whiff of cherry or whatever is welcome in my car at any time.

I would say no because the smell of cigarettes is a migrane trigger for me. If it wasn't a trigger I would probably put up with it if it was a friend - I might sensitively ask if they could light up a bit earlier before they got in the car.