To ask how having children affected your career?

[Fluffysparks]

Just that really. Were you employed before having the DC, how much time did you take out and do you think it affected your career? I’ve just realised that it probably has with me, in more ways than one, and I’ve been quite lucky as well...

Mine has really suffered and I don't know if it's ever going to recover. It was fine after I had my first as my firm let me go part-time but they relocated some distance away when I was on mat leave with my 2nd so I took voluntary redundancy. I decided to take a career break, but then found I was stuck: round here nurseries are so full there are 12 month waiting lists, whereas any new job wants you to start within a month. Once they were both at school I got a job, but at a much lower level than my pre-kids job; it was the same grade I'd been on 15 years earlier. I'm still on that low grade 3 years later and I know I won't get promoted or even be given any responsibility because I'm part-time.

I think its a shame that part-time = uncommitted, undesirable employee to most firms but it does. I know I either need to make peace with my decision to be part-time or change that decision. So at the moment I remain low-status, low grade and low paid.

Fuck me this is depressing.

I've suspected it for some time. How bad it is. But christ. .

Mine took an absolute nose dive. Went to uni, work in civil service but we can't afford childcare so work around each other to look after the kids. I've been told that my hours make promotion a pointless thing to try for. Having said that DH is also stagnating somewhat due to compressed hours. Not really sure what to do.

Bubblebubblepop to answer your question about how women step up from part time to full time... in my case I think a lot of it was luck with the timing. A full time position in another school came up just as dc3 turned 4 and was starting reception, and I applied and got it. I’ll be really honest: id been working only 3 days a week while I had little ones at home, and I think if I’d carried on even just one year of doing 3 days once all my kids were in school, I’d have got very used to filling my ‘free’ days and perhaps never gone back full time. Which would have scuppered my chances of promotion.
So although things turned out well for me, there was definitely an element of being in the right place at the right time

Was demoted on first mat leave and made redundant on the second. In between I worked pt. I also completed a masters and did a career change qualification whilst part time. I’m currently finishing off my career change qualification and setting up a business.

I hate that women are treated like this when they have kids. I’m so much more efficient and effective now my time is more precious. Trouble for me is that even though I’ve done loads of great stuff and my new career has bags of potential, the way I’ve been treated means my confidence regarding work is in my boots.

My career has always gone a bit slowly compared with others in the same field, so in some ways, having children hasn't made a massive difference. I am at the same level as some of my childfree friends in the same profession, slightly ahead of others (who are still on short-term contracts) but not striding ahead like one or two.

I am exceptionally grateful to have my career. I found being at home with my first quite hard work and couldn't see myself as a homemaker/SAHM for long periods, so taking a year or two out was just about the right amount.

The other things that have enabled me to have an equivalent career to my friends without children have been family support for emergencies, and a very supportive husband who would take the children for the whole weekend to allow me to work if necessary, took his turn at transporting them to clubs and ballet. Without that I think it would have all got too much stress-wise and I may have just ended up dropping my hours back. I needed to be full-time, very few part-timers end up with permanent good jobs or in the realm of promotions/more money.

I found it harder than I expected to return to work after each of my maternity leaves (one year each) and felt like I was playing catch up for a long time eg new people, policies, procedures, even new jargon.

If I had had a career break of several years, I can understand how difficult it would be to get back to work and how important it is to keep up to date.

Thanks babbity

I have 5 kids. I had to choose between taking a clinical training post or an academic post when i was pregnany with my 3rd child. I chose academic because the hours would be easier (i didnt really have a preference for one post over the other, so it wasnt a big loss, but it did alter my future career).
Having 5 children definately slowed my career progression down. I would probably have published more, attended more conferences, presented more etc.
We moved overseas and i took at 7 year career break from academia partly to be at home more with the kids. I have done many different and varied jobs all of which have been wonderful in their own way.
I have just gone back into academia and i am probably 10 years behind my peers, but I don't care. I wouldn't change it for the world.

I had ten months each for my 2 dc. Despite a very supportive boss, there’s no way my career has continued on the same trajectory. I’ve been switched projects from one where I had eight years of hard won experience and great relationships with our stakeholders to one where I’ve picked the project up fresh, albeit with background knowledge. The new project is a complete poisoned chalice. This all happened after my second mat leave so although I took ten months off, I effectively lost eight years.

I’m also working part time (75%), which means I can’t be promoted into a managerial position.

The thing is, having been messed about and with two absolutely charming children, I don’t really care enough about my employers aims to throw myself back in full time and climb the career ladder. It is possible to have drive and throw your energy into something other than a paid job.

and felt like I was playing catch up for a long time eg new people, policies, procedures, even new jargon.

There’s part of me that just thinks it’s that women who’ve been forced to take a step back to have a baby end up realising how their job that seemed so very important and somehow defined them doesn’t really define them and isn’t really that important after all, in the big scheme of things.

Workers get so caught up in their own little worlds and in the significance they and their employers have created for themselves (with all their jargon and policies to create value where there wasn’t any before) that it’s hard to see the wood for the trees sometimes. I always find that as soon as I get outside the M25, all those deadly important meetings and projects really don’t mean much at all. It’s all a bit emperor’s new clothes really.

So I think some (not all) women go back to part time working or whatever they need to do in order to make ends meet financially as their priorities have changed and they’ve realised what’s important to them personally, rather than because they couldn’t get a full time job if they wanted one.

The question of ‘has having children fucked your career’ carries the assumption that everyone would want a well-paying, full-time career-type job if they could have it, but some people don’t want that and would much rather have family time, hobby time or whatever.

Workers get so caught up in their own little worlds and in the significance they and their employers have created for themselves (with all their jargon and policies to create value where there wasn’t any before) that it’s hard to see the wood for the trees sometimes.

How very condescending.

With hindsight, my career never recovered.

I wanted to be a sahm until they went to school so I had to say goodbye to my career. I don't regret it.

Overall unimpeded,but I returned FT after 6mth and FT nursery. I’ve worked really hard to stay in the game, I was determined not to lose any career progression. For me important was retuning and being FT. I didn’t want to go on the mummy track with PT working. My worst detractors were other women making comments like why have children if you leave them with strangers, apparently missing out on stuff etc

Anecdotally, women I know who went on the mummy track eg PT working & long mat leave feel children has impeded their career progression

My career hasn’t even really began

I had cancer which left me disabled and my first child before I was even 21

I’ve since qualified as a bookkeeper, had two more kids, studying AAT now and plan to go back and dedicate myself once I’m 31/2

My 20s were for babies and exams and my 30s and onwards will be for climbing a career ladder

Ok after first child. After second was demoted as only worked 42 hours a week instead of full time .

Now all my dc are school age and I encounter sahm who’d like to work and are looking for employment . Also the shine of singing wind the bobbin up and playgroups has diminished and they’re bored at home

This is such a depressing thread. Where the fuck are the fathers of these DC? Don't tell me that every woman on MN has a DH/DP who massively out-earns her pre-DC, statistically that doesn't stack up at all. Why are so many fathers happy to see their DW/DP take the career hit and not want to spend time with their own DC?

Of my friends, 3 of us are currently on ML but planning to go back some time between 6 and 9 months and swap over with our DHs. When the year of ML/PL is up, DH and I will both go 9 days per fortnight so DS never spends more than 2 consecutive days on nursery but we can both crack on with our careers. Sick days will be shared on a case-by-case basis (I.e. who can most easily work from home vs who stayed home last time).

Both of us will need to take a step back for a few years (no more promotions or long hours) but that was agreed in advance - my career is every bit as valuable as his and I refuse to be the default parent.

Conversely, on3 could argue Sahp get so caught up in their own little worlds and in the significance they and their childrenhave created for themselves (with all their activities and groups to create something where there wasn’t any before) that it’s hard to see the wood for the trees sometime

Can I ask,why does it matter that your child doesn’t spend more than 2 consecutive days at nursery?whats the rationale in that preference

Jeez, this makes depressing reading.

Having kids hasn’t negatively affected my career at all. I went back full time after 6 months with both of my kids (used full time nursery). I don’t understand why so many women here seem to have gone part time? I get it if you’re desperately missing your kids or something, but a lot of people on here are saying that they couldn’t work full time because they couldn’t get flexible working. Why do you need flexible working with nursery? It’s 8 am til 6/6.30 pm. Also, surely your partner is doing helf the drop offs/pick ups? I really don’t get it.

Mines probably a bit different to others. I coasted in my career until my DS came along. I took 10 months mat leave. Was married, but wasn't long before I realised what a useless, lying thief he turned out to be.

I knew I was going to be a single parent and needed to be able to completely support my DS and I. Took my development at work seriously, made sure bosses knew I was keen to move into management etc. I took all and any training on offer. Not with the same company, but 10 years on, I'm in a senior management position and doubled my salary. I work in a male dominated sector, but it's not stopped me doing well.

I think a key to it was going back full time after mat leave and finding am amazing nursery. I actually find it harder now DS is in senior school - I find he needs me more. When he was younger , he happily went to Grandparents for a few hours in an evening when I did my Post-Grad - now he wants to stay at home on his own, but is still a bit young to do it for too long. He also has lots of clubs and hobbies, which means me being a taxi driver lol.

To an extent, I had no choice but to go all out with my career to earn the money to support DS, but he also spurred me on. I left school with very little in the way of qualifications, but have grafted and gone back to College and Uni and want to set an example to my DS to work hard.

Lipstick because it's tiring and a long day for a one-year-old to spend 8 hours at nursery. Personal preference, not a one-size-fits-all.

Really?cant say I had such misgivings about nursery.I needed to work and that was that.