To wonder why you wouldn't make a small effort to cover up whilst feeding?

[BonkToTheFinish]

Not in your own home or whatever else that is within comfort zone for you.

I’m talking restraunts, places to eat etc etc

I don’t really understand it. A good friend of mine liked a picture that I came across today titled “Not even trying to cover up in public anymore, most natural thing ever 👌❤️”

Picture is of said woman in a bit swankier than average place to eat, boob completely out without thought and baby isn’t covering it at all really.

You do NOT NOT NOT have to cover a baby’s head to be discrete. You don’t even have to wear specialist clothing, it’s very easy to be discrete without having to have the whole breast completely on show.

I wouldn’t just feed DS with a whole boob out, it isn’t necessary and although BF is natural, some people do feel uncomfortable about breasts and aren’t comfortable seeing one completely on show - It doesn’t mean they’d say anything and that’s because they’re polite.

Is it really necessary to have whole boob out like that? AIBU?

I can’t say I’ve seen many people doing it, SIL was feeding her newborn DS a few weeks back and I was shocked she was feeding. I couldn’t actually tell, and baby has a small latch issue.

I’ve only ever seen one other person in public being a bit too in your face about it. She had the whole thing out and wasn’t too bothered regarding her DC being on there etc. She had it out before he was even out of the pram from waking up. The breast was directing me in life, so it seemed, by its swinging

I do agree with OP and think that some people are jumping on a bandwagon with this. I have nothing against feeding in public. However if I was at a restaurant, I would expect someone who is breastfeeding publicly to have the same respect and considerations to my feelings and comfort as I do to their need to feed their child and their child’s need to be fed. There are ways in which you can feed your child without being too obvious about it, and respectful to others who may not be as comfortable with this as you are. Why should you? Because your wishes to feed your child publicly are respected, so you should have the same respect to those that share your environment.

It’s like breastfeeding mothers feel they have carte blanch on this topic and the right to do whatever they please wherever and whenever. Bottom line... you do not need to have your breast out fully... there people who are not pervs or prudes who are just not that comfortable in seeing your boobs whilst they eat their own lunch. Difference in opinion is the way the world works. And that is the situation the OP is referring to in her OP, not all breastfeeding in public.

for my own preference never ever flashed a breast. .
Mine are to me private. .

Same here - plus, in public places I think that we need to be aware that some people, for whatever reason, may be made uncomfortable by "indiscreet" (for want of a better term) boobage - in the same way that many people find bad language offensive.

By all means BF in public (I did), but have consideration for other (often older) people. If public BFing was offensive to (say) a strict Muslim, would people be equally blasé about whipping out a tit on the bus?

To my mind, it is a matter of common courtesy and respect for others while maintaining your own rights and fulfilling your baby's needs.

I totally agree with you, I don't know why people can't be a bit discrete especially in a restaurant. Some people do feel awkward if a woman gets her breasts out, I know I do. It doesn't take much to be discrete about it. If you weren't feeding a baby would you get your breasts out in a restaurant and think no one should bat an eyelid because after all they are just breasts, I don't see why it's different just because you are feeding a baby.

But those who do have their whole breast out aren’t doing it because they need to, to feed their babies.

Errr...how exactly do you know what other mums need to do to free their baby?

There is a reason that breastfeeding mothers are protected by law. Because their right to feed their baby trumps your right not to offended. You're never going to win this one op, so stop trying.

"former It May put some people off or make them feel very uncomfortable."

If it was normalised and most women breastfed then it wouldn't.

NoCry Indeed, But it isn’t really acceptable for me to point out exactly who she is to MN. Posting her picture on here isn’t going to help anyone.

It is very clear from my description regarding what the actual positioning is.

It’s very simple - whole boob out, no top anywhere around it and baby not really latched either so you can see the whole breast

Is this the kind of thing you mean OP? She's pulled a top down rather than up?

I have mixed feelings. I truly believe a woman should be able to feed her infant wherever she wishes, in comfort. I truly believe women feeding their infant is less offensive than seeing ‘mens’ magazines in newsagents turning women into sexual objects.
I can’t see a woman’s breast is more uncomfortable to look at than a topless man wandering through a town with his trousers wedged below a beer belly.
However, I also think good manners are about making people feel comfortable and in a smart restaurant I think it would be better manners and less egocentric to have been more discreet. As you say, perfectly possible to feed a child without fully exposing a breast. Subtle feeding might actually demonstrate to less confident women that it is possible to feed without making a big song and dance.

My ds latched and unlatched numerous times during a feed, especially when he was tiny, what do you want me to do, keep popping my boob back in and out?

Elizabeth Less discreet than that, no top covering her side that’s feeding at all

I truly believe a woman should be able to feed her infant wherever she wishes, in comfort

There's no "believe" about it. It's a fact.

The idea that there are loads of women out there who go to restaurants to get their whole breast out and then not latch the baby on is complete fantasy.

What kind of top could she be wearing that doesn't have sides?

Maybe the women who do get the whole boob out (though I’ve never seen it myself) do so because they don’t have the sexual hang ups about their breasts that other people do, subsequently couldn’t care less about other those people’s hang ups and are just doing what comes naturally to them.
The truth is people who have a problem seeing a breast in public in this context are seeing a sexual object (in their minds) and can’t handle it.
When you sexualise breastfeeding like that it makes you uncomfortable, stop sexualising and you’ll find you’ll cope much better.
Instead of shaming women and accusing them of showing off (because of your own issues) why don’t you own it and try to change your mindset? Chances are that woman with her whole boob out is just doing it because that’s how she breastfeeds and for no other reason, all this breast shaming is oppressive and degrading to women. If you have a problem, own it and stop making breastfeeding women responsible for it.

If people are so delicate they find babies being fed offensive then they should stay safely at home away from other humans.

It’s threads like this that put people off breastfeeding. I do try to be discreet but sometimes there is nipple or part of my breast showing. It’s also very difficult at the start when the baby is tiny and needs positioning to be discreet. People are put off breastfeeding because they worry that randoms will see a bit of nipple and judge them- and unfortunately it seems it does happen.

I totally agree with you, I don't know why people can't be a bit discrete especially in a restaurant. Some people do feel awkward if a woman gets her breasts out, I know I do

I wish people would stop calling those who aren’t comfortable seeing a breast on full display as pedos/pervs/weirdos.

What an odd thing to say.

I don’t care for who sees my boobs but I wouldn’t just whip my boob out and feed DS in a restraunt because other people aren’t always comfortable and that’s fine.

Feeding is perfectly doable without having the whole breast out and MOST of us do it that way (discreet/you can hardly tell).

I don’t know anyone personally who has to get the full breast out. It isn’t needed, and I know a lot of BF women.

YABU - I really cannot comprehend how anyone can be offended by a mum feeding her baby. What a sad and strange reaction to have.

OP - you keep banging on about how it isn't 'necessary'. Well, if it isn't necessary - why do you think you they are doing it? Are you trying to suggest some breastfeeding mothers are flashers or exhibitionists? Because I really think that must be where you are going, while trying to sound reasonable.

Just to be clear, you really do not sound reasonable. You sound prurient, judgemental and a joy sucker. Not enough mum's breastfeed, like us look with warmth on those who do.

I like seeing breastfeeding women. It reminds me how amazing the female body is. I am the opposite of offended. It's all part of trying to make women feel bad about being women, from periods to breastfeeding and all the stuff in between.

boob completely out without thought and baby isn’t covering it at all really.

This was your description in the OP. It says that a woman exposed her breast and that either her or the breast were thinking no thoughts during that moment.

I actually don’t know how I’m supposed to feed without getting my whole boob out? I use tops that clip up so you pull them down to feed so can’t really avoid your boob being out (but then I think that’s generally a hazard of breastfeeding...). I’ve never got on with those tops you pull up, or the one up one down method - too much fabric all in DD’s face, especially when she was a newborn and we were having latching issues.

It’s attitudes like yours OP that meant I didn’t leave the house for weeks in case she needed feeding while we were out. Now I couldn’t give a fuck 👍

Maybe the women who do get the whole boob out (though I’ve never seen it myself) do so because they don’t have the sexual hang ups about their breasts that other people do, subsequently couldn’t care less about other those people’s hang ups and are just doing what comes naturally to them

I wouldn’t care if someone saw me feeding entirely naked. But I know some people aren’t comfortable and I respect that 100%

Some people do have small hang ups about completely bare breasts. So what? I don’t need to have my whole breast on display to feed DS so why shouldn’t I be that little bit discreet? It isn’t all about me.

Again, majority of feeding mums don’t have the whole breast out so it isn’t needed. You don’t have to go to any extreme efforts to not have whole boob out.

It is not hard

If breastfeeding doesn't come as completely easy to you as it does to others, then sometimes the very act itself can be stressful enough, without having the additional stress of making sure you are sufficiently covered.

Op believe me when I say, nothing bad will happen due to someone catching a glimpse of someone else's breast. There is zero reason for you to have a problem with it.

Never found it that hard to be discreet and I have enormous boobs and breastfed both of mine till about 15 months.
I remember chatting to an older couple in a coffee shop on the adjacent table for about 15 minutes and we were chatting about their new grandchild and the conversation went onto talking about feeding and i pointed out that i was currently (literally currently) breastfeeding. They hadn't realised at all and sadly were obviously really uncomfortable with it as they couldn't get away quick enough! Made me chuckle.
I think its fair to be reasonably discreet when breastfeeding. The only time i struggled was when they were about 9 months and they like to stop feeding, and latch off to have a good look around exposing your boob!