To wonder why you wouldn't make a small effort to cover up whilst feeding?

[BonkToTheFinish]

Not in your own home or whatever else that is within comfort zone for you.

I’m talking restraunts, places to eat etc etc

I don’t really understand it. A good friend of mine liked a picture that I came across today titled “Not even trying to cover up in public anymore, most natural thing ever 👌❤️”

Picture is of said woman in a bit swankier than average place to eat, boob completely out without thought and baby isn’t covering it at all really.

You do NOT NOT NOT have to cover a baby’s head to be discrete. You don’t even have to wear specialist clothing, it’s very easy to be discrete without having to have the whole breast completely on show.

I wouldn’t just feed DS with a whole boob out, it isn’t necessary and although BF is natural, some people do feel uncomfortable about breasts and aren’t comfortable seeing one completely on show - It doesn’t mean they’d say anything and that’s because they’re polite.

Is it really necessary to have whole boob out like that? AIBU?

I can’t say I’ve seen many people doing it, SIL was feeding her newborn DS a few weeks back and I was shocked she was feeding. I couldn’t actually tell, and baby has a small latch issue.

I’ve only ever seen one other person in public being a bit too in your face about it. She had the whole thing out and wasn’t too bothered regarding her DC being on there etc. She had it out before he was even out of the pram from waking up. The breast was directing me in life, so it seemed, by its swinging

I can assure you they are two different things.

I imagine your course was 6 weeks? Or 24 hours total study time.

Very different to a breastfeeding counsellor who can take 2-3 years to gain their qualification.

It's misleading of you to suggest otherwise and shows little understanding.

are people now comparing breastfeeding to having a wee?

In any conversation about breastfeeding, as sure as night follows days, there will be idiots comparing a breastfeeding child to having sex, urinating, defecating, masturbating and ejaculating.

I really, really don't want to see these people's porn collections.

I accept that it would make some people feel uncomfortable. Not because they are anti-BF or anti-BF in a public place. It's just that it makes them feel uncomfortable to have someone's breast out with no attempt to be slightly discreet. I know my husband feels this way and he was very supportive of me BF my son wherever we were. It just makes him feel uncomfortable to have a strange lady nearby with everything on show.

Everyone has to rub along together in this world as best we can. I don't see what's wrong with making what is actually a very small effort to be discreet, if it makes others around you feel more at ease.

a strange lady nearby with everything on show.

Loving that image.

WowAnActualBaby but that's your OHs problem.

I have a 19 year old son who doesn't bat an eyelid at breastfeeding including at close quarters.

wow it's not 'a small effort' for many people to be perfectly discrete. Read the thread.

And frankly, your husband's hang ups are the least of their problems.

I agree wow but I think the solution is more public breastfeeding not more discretion. Then everyone has a chance to get used to it and new mothers who don't find bf easy aren't driven to either give up or become recluses

WowAnActualBaby I see it as the job if your husband to be considerate to the feelings of breastfeeding mums, as they are doing the essential job of feeding their child. It is not a breastfeeding mum's job to make your prudish husband feel comfortable as there can no reason for him to have to look at the 'strange lady with everything on show'. Although I don't see that feeding your baby makes you strange. Being an adult man and a father who can't cope with a woman feeding her child is, however, deeply strange.

Sorry for dumping Buffy Sainte-Marie on the thread and running earlier! (Dealing with bath & bedtime). My point was that even in the 70s bf was not seen as comparable to urinating unless there's a whole other side to sesame st I'm not aware of

Being an adult man and a father who can't cope with a woman feeding her child is, however, deeply strange.

Exactly.

Yes of course you are being completely unreasonable.

Wow - 2 sentences that make me clench a little - 'my husband was very supportive of me bf my son where ever we were' - I mean jeez what a guy! Does he need some kind of special husband medal. He would be utterly reprehensible if he wasn't . And the phrase 'everything on show ' , what like both breasts?! You and your dh sound delightful

Do you not think a nursing mother has enough to handle when put with her baby without having to anticipated and mollify the potential feelings of every single individual she shares space with?

What about the feelings of those who are immensely saddened by the sight of a woman trying to be 'discreet'? What about those women who are dealing with infertility? Women who have suffered a miscarriage? Is it the job of a nursing mother to consider the potential feelings of all those classes of people too?

Where does the responsibility of women for the feelings of everyone else end?

Women are never going to please everyone so we might as well just please ourselves. And we should assume that other grown-ups are capable of getting over themselves.

Discretion when breast feeding is the way to go. Have no idea why anything else should even be brought into the equation here.

If at a cafe having coffee, whilst I have very large breasts and am definitely a woman, i don't particularly want to see them over a latte.

It just makes him feel uncomfortable to have a strange lady nearby with everything on show.

Does he know what a naked woman actually looks like?

Why should he?

Everyone can go to a coffee shop. If someone is breast feeding then of course they should be discreet about it.

Where does that principle end, Silverbelle? What of I don't like the look of your face? Do I have the right to expect you to pander to my taste in facial features? Can I demand that women cover their hair in public if the sight of hair offends me over my latte?

Where does that principle end, Silverbelle? What of I don't like the look of your face? Do I have the right to expect you to pander to my taste in facial features? Can I demand that women cover their hair in public if the sight of hair offends me over my latte?

If at a cafe having coffee, whilst I have very large breasts and am definitely a woman, i don't particularly want to see them over a latte

I have asked this repeatedly and there doesn't seem to be an answer, but I don't see when it stops being discreet and starts being 'over a latte'? What does everyone mean when they say 'not discreet'? How much needs to be on show?

And honestly, how many of you have ever actually seen a woman sitting topless in a cafe? Because the way you are talking makes it seem that it keeps happening everywhere.

Yes you should consider others OP you really should. Bring a muzzy and cover them up. Easy answer and I will never know why you shouldn't.

I have no idea why you are being so ridiculous math.

Bring a muzzy and cover them up.

Cover what up? The top of my breast which was on display in scoop tshirt two minutes ago? My babies head? What?

You all know what is reasonable in a public place, if you aren't wearing an outfit that you can whip them out in a discreet manner bring a damn muzzle. Quite simple and no need for an argument.

You all know what is reasonable in a public place, if you aren't wearing an outfit that you can whip them out in a discreet manner bring a damn muzzle. Quite simple and no need for an argument.

No, you made the argument that something was unreasonable - it's up to you to explain exactly what that is in this context.

Are you literally telling me that I'm fine wearing a vest top with cleavage on display, but the moment I breastfeed I need to cover the top of my breasts up?

WHAT is unreasonable?

Or dont bring a muzzy and breastfeed as discretely as you need to. Quite simple