To wonder why you wouldn't make a small effort to cover up whilst feeding?

[BonkToTheFinish]

Not in your own home or whatever else that is within comfort zone for you.

I’m talking restraunts, places to eat etc etc

I don’t really understand it. A good friend of mine liked a picture that I came across today titled “Not even trying to cover up in public anymore, most natural thing ever 👌❤️”

Picture is of said woman in a bit swankier than average place to eat, boob completely out without thought and baby isn’t covering it at all really.

You do NOT NOT NOT have to cover a baby’s head to be discrete. You don’t even have to wear specialist clothing, it’s very easy to be discrete without having to have the whole breast completely on show.

I wouldn’t just feed DS with a whole boob out, it isn’t necessary and although BF is natural, some people do feel uncomfortable about breasts and aren’t comfortable seeing one completely on show - It doesn’t mean they’d say anything and that’s because they’re polite.

Is it really necessary to have whole boob out like that? AIBU?

I can’t say I’ve seen many people doing it, SIL was feeding her newborn DS a few weeks back and I was shocked she was feeding. I couldn’t actually tell, and baby has a small latch issue.

I’ve only ever seen one other person in public being a bit too in your face about it. She had the whole thing out and wasn’t too bothered regarding her DC being on there etc. She had it out before he was even out of the pram from waking up. The breast was directing me in life, so it seemed, by its swinging

Oops sorry, I see a pp has already posted it.

just saw a lady full tit out in zizzi. gave her a high five and got mine out in solidarity. well i didn’t but only because my baby was far more interested in chomping on a pizza crust but the thought was there

taratill- I am now doubting your story.

Yo firstly said you are a " breastfeeding counsellor" then you say you are a " breastfeeding buddy"

Big difference.

If you can't get the detail right of such a significant thing how can you trust yourself to remember the fine detail of this incident?

Those comparing bf to going to the toilet, hardly a comparison is it! Compare it to eating, you wod not eat in a toilet would you or with a cover on your head!

I don’t understand it, I’m not speaking of covering the child or whatever else.

It’s simply being a bit discrete about how much you have on show because it does make some people a little uncomfortable.

I wouldn’t have an issue getting the whole thing out in public, wouldn’t embarrass me one bit. But I KNOW not everyone is comfortable with that and I’m happy to make a small effort to consider other people too. It doesn’t take any effort at all really.

I wouldn't cover up because other people are uncomfortable, but I would because of my own modesty. Yes the boob is doing what it's designed to do, but it is there in the first place for a reason anyway and (most people) don't walk around with them whacked out on show.

I don’t understand it ... It’s simply being a bit discrete about how much you have on show

If you've read the full thread, you'll see that lots of people have explained why being discrete isn't easy for everyone; poor latching, strong let downs, distracted babies, large breasts, feeding multiples. So while it didn't take 'any effort' for you (and that's great) it actually stresses others out to the extent that they were anxious about feeding outside the house and in some cases stopped.

So do you get that your experience isn't universal and that others have a much harder time with this idea of 'discretion'?

Those comparing bf to going to the toilet

Don't tell me people are still making that comparison! It doesn't make any sense at all.

It’s simply being a bit discrete about how much you have on show because it does make some people a little uncomfortable.

But what exactly does this mean? Is having the top boob too much? The nipple? Side boob? Being completely topless (have you ever even seen anyone do this)?

• wouldn’t have an issue getting the whole thing out in public, wouldn’t embarrass me one bit. But I KNOW not everyone is comfortable with that and I’m happy to make a small effort to consider other people to

I wouldn't cover up because other people are uncomfortable, but I would because of my own modesty.*

Completely contradicted yourself....

The problem is that if we start to define " discreet" breastfeeding as the acceptable route it impacts all of breastfeeding.
Women who struggle to breastfeed " discreetly" won't want to go out at all.

If we support breastfeeding in public then we accept " non discreet" breastfeeding.
And we can't then start to split hairs about accidental/deliberate flashes of breast.
Showing a bit of breast is fine if a baby is struggling, but not OK if it is simply for a woman's comfort.

And I don't buy into the crap about making other people " comfortable".

Mothers are not responsible for other people's comfort- that is totally their problem.

Some people may feel uncomfortable seeing facial disfigurements or same sex couples holding hands in public.

It's not up to those people to moderate their behaviour or hide themselves from the offended.
These people have a legal right to be in a public place, hold hands and go about their lawful business.

Same with breastfeeding and the bare skin of breasts.
It happens. And if people don't like it they can remove themselves from the situation.

I am disgusted by some of the views on this thread.

A hungry baby trumps an uncomfortable adult who CHOOSES to stare everytime.

There is no need for all these comparisons and ideas for covering up.
Breasts are to feed babies. That is their purpose. The more people try to justify bf the more it seems like bf is wrong.
It isnt.

Yes MrsD, they did, I think early in the thread. Insulting really, a bad comparison. Comparing it to eating and drinking would be much more comparable, as that's what it is.

Well put, speakout

It's not as if going out with a new baby isn't stressful as fuck at the best of times. Adding in the fear that if you struggle with your latch you'll have people staring at you in disgust is really not helpful.

I've been trying to think of an example of what "aggressive breastfeeding" could possibly be, and I think I've cracked it.

If a woman sat in a cafe or restaurant, one or both breasts out, and deliberately and repeatedly aimed jets of milk into the eyes of every nearby diner in turn, before finally sitting back to feed her baby... Then yeah, I'd consider that pretty aggressive.

Anything short of that, though, is just feeding a baby.

It’s simply being a bit discrete about how much you have on show because it does make some people a little uncomfortable.

If people feel a little uncomfortable, why should they not simply look elsewhere?

And it's DISCREET, fgs. "Discrete" means "individually separate and distinct".

@Laurie Yes, I'm sure they will appreciate it. They'll appreciate that even though breastfeeding was as private as going to the toilet when they were parenting, I'm meeting them halfway by making an effort not to wave my breast in their face.

@geeka There have been many 'misappropriated let-downs' in my case. I sprayed out of a car window once at a service station. And in the library at work I nearly put a computer out of action. They did have signs up saying no food or drink near the PCs...

Yes queen because women waving their breasts in strangers faces is a thing that's actually happening.

Even on this thread the most extreme behaviour cited is 'didn't put it away for a while'.

You’ve probably taken me a tad too literally there Laurie, but I apologise for being flippant.

From 1977

sorry i've just come back to this thread, are people now comparing breastfeeding to having a wee? it's as intimate an act as excreting waste products from your genital area? what new level of madness is this?! as i said before - this thread keeps on giving.....

I love the Sesame Street thing.

@MadForlt I couldn't agree with you more

speakout the two terms were used interchangeably in my area, I did the training with Sure Start.

It's extremely rude of you to doubt my story but whatever, that's your prerogative.