To wonder why you wouldn't make a small effort to cover up whilst feeding?

[BonkToTheFinish]

Not in your own home or whatever else that is within comfort zone for you.

I’m talking restraunts, places to eat etc etc

I don’t really understand it. A good friend of mine liked a picture that I came across today titled “Not even trying to cover up in public anymore, most natural thing ever 👌❤️”

Picture is of said woman in a bit swankier than average place to eat, boob completely out without thought and baby isn’t covering it at all really.

You do NOT NOT NOT have to cover a baby’s head to be discrete. You don’t even have to wear specialist clothing, it’s very easy to be discrete without having to have the whole breast completely on show.

I wouldn’t just feed DS with a whole boob out, it isn’t necessary and although BF is natural, some people do feel uncomfortable about breasts and aren’t comfortable seeing one completely on show - It doesn’t mean they’d say anything and that’s because they’re polite.

Is it really necessary to have whole boob out like that? AIBU?

I can’t say I’ve seen many people doing it, SIL was feeding her newborn DS a few weeks back and I was shocked she was feeding. I couldn’t actually tell, and baby has a small latch issue.

I’ve only ever seen one other person in public being a bit too in your face about it. She had the whole thing out and wasn’t too bothered regarding her DC being on there etc. She had it out before he was even out of the pram from waking up. The breast was directing me in life, so it seemed, by its swinging

taratill, if you only commented to demonstrate that what OP describes can happen, why did you think it necessary to say "I am not sure, no matter how hard you find it to BF, that it is necessary to display your breast prior to taking the baby out of the pram. ... I did think it was unnecessary for this woman to do this." That is going rather further, isn't it?

And, of course, you don't know whether it was necessary or not. That woman may have particular motor control or joint problems which means it's safer to take her top down before picking up her baby. Either way, it doesn't matter, does it? You didn't see any more than you would with a man displaying his moobs on the beach.

What I omitted from the original post that I wrote was the length of time between breast coming out and baby coming out of pram.

Maybe there is a disability reason for this, maybe not. It didn't seem that way it seemed more of a statement on the part of the woman, perhaps for reasons of assertive action. If I am right in that assessment then I don't think the length of time was particularly necessary. That is my opinion.

Again, no issue whatsoever with any woman breastfeeding in whatever manner they wish to do so.

Sounds more like extreme sleep deprivation + forgetting that it's not normal to have your tits out the whole time (I nearly flashed the postman at least once for these reasons) than sexually motivated exhibitionism to be fair tara

Should we just ban selfies full stop? I would be thats another Thread!

I'd rather see a mother get her breast out first as see her drop her baby trying to be descrete!

I’ve been reading through this thread and some of the comments are ridiculous.

The poor woman was wanting to feed her baby and if she has to get her whole boob out to do so, then so be it. Why does it concern anyone else? It isn’t public indecency, it’s a completely natural process.

I have lots of selfies and videos of me feeding my babies - such wonderful memories to look back on.

It didn't seem that way it seemed more of a statement on the part of the woman, perhaps for reasons of assertive action.

And if it were a 'statement', what kind of statement do you think she was making?

For example, 'I'm using my breasts to feed my baby. I'm doing this in public because there's no reason why I wouldn't and the law protects me'. Is that the statement?

I don't see anything to object to there? Or is it a different 'statement' you think she's making?

The thing is i completely understand why someone would want to take a selfie whilst breastfeeding. I have loads of them. I'm so proud and amazed that my body can do this and I know it's for a finite amount of time so I want to remember it.
I know it something millions of women have done since the dawn of time but I still find it amazing. Because it is amazing.

It's not exhibitionist and it's not aggressive.
It's pride.

I've seen countless pictures of adults food. Baby's food. Babies eating. Babies with bottles. So why is a picture of a breastfeeding baby an issue too?

If everyone got both boobs fully out to breastfeed maybe it would be normalised and maybe it wouldn't be an issue for anyone and maybe more people would do it!

@hiimmumma yep, I’ve got photographs of the whole 5 times I managed to get ds anywhere near the breast as I was so proud. I personally didn’t put them on fb but I don’t put many photographs of him on fb. I’ve kept them though.

laurie

Of course it is a legal right to get a breast out to feed in public. Are you deliberately missing my point? Just because it is a legal right to feed does it mean that because a person can feed and intends to do so they can sit in a restaurant topless for an entire meal? Just how far do you extend that?

I have no objection whatsoever to a person displaying a breast whilst feeding. It is the most natural thing to do in the world.

I do think that it is unnecessary to have a breast out in a restaurant for a period of time that a baby is not being fed. I can see that this might be because of mobility issues but I do not think that this is what I saw.

So what you're saying is that after feeding the baby and returning it to its pram she kept her breast out?

tara unless this woman in fact did eat her entire meal topless before waking baby to feed it that's a bit of a straw man argument isn't it?

How long did she have it out then?

And to repeat my question, what 'statement' do you think she was making exactly?

they can sit in a restaurant topless for an entire meal

Did this actually happen? I think you may be exaggerating a tiny bit perhaps.

@LaurieMarlow I think we will see a day where breastfeeding is normalised, but it's not going to happen overnight. I think we're making progress in improving BF rate and in changing legislation to make it illegal to have an issue with it in public.

I can understand that there are people out there who are from a generation that did not breastfeed babies in public. There are members of my own family who thought it very 'brave' that I was comfortable feeding in public. Our generation and our children's generation won't feel that way.

I don't 'hide' anywhere to feed my baby, I just have an appreciation that some people find my breasts an unusual thing to see while eating their lunch so I don't whip them both out because I can. I see breasts on a daily basis and I really don't care how anyone wants to feed their child, but others might and I can understand their perspective. The 'I'll feed my baby wherever I like so fuck you' movement is actually putting the normalisation of breastfeeding at risk. It is aggressive. This thread feels aggressive...

No I wasn't there by then or didn't notice. It was the length of time between getting breast out and getting baby to feed. It had nothing to do with mobility issues, perhaps she looked at baby and decided not to feed him/ her yet because they were sleeping and decided to drink coffee first. But regardless of that breast was out for a considerable period of time that she was not feeding.

Got to love Mumsnet and the assumption I must be some sort of breastfeeding hater for posting this when in fact it was what I saw.

I was wondering how it was that tara could remember the brief action of a total stranger witnessed several years ago with such clarity, but if the woman ate a full meal whilst topless I can see after all why it stuck in her mind

QueenJane thank god for common sense!

Has anyone else posted this:

Sorry tara, cross-post - she only drank a full cup of coffee topless then?

genghis I didn't say she did eat a full meal, I did say that there was a considerable amount of time between getting breast out and feeding.

I remember it because it was unusual, nothing particularly odd about that. I was breastfeeding my DD in public at the time and was interested in feeding issues because at the time I had trained as a breast feeding buddy at our local Sure Start centre.

Genghis why does it matter, whether it is a full cup of coffee / a full meal.

If you are saying that you don't think there is anything wrong with that then that's not a problem.

I am saying that I think it is unnecessary to do that. I was there and that's my opinion. I don't think it helps normalise breastfeeding.

I agree with QueenJane's post in its entirety.

Can you just put a time on it taratill because what you're posting is pretty vague.

How long did she sit there with her breast out? 1 minute? 5 minutes? 15 minutes?

The 'I'll feed my baby wherever I like so fuck you' movement is actually putting the normalisation of breastfeeding at risk

It is absolutely not. But well done on being a good little girl for the patriarchy. I'm sure they appreciate it.

oddly enough I didn't time it, I would say somewhere between 5 to 10 minutes after breast was out before baby was out of pram.

Well I agree that if women were going around saying "I'll feed my baby wherever I like so fuck you" that might come across as a little aggressive.

But no one has said that. At its most assertive the message from pro-bf posters on this thread has been "I'll feed my baby wherever I like so please let me get on with it"