To wonder why you wouldn't make a small effort to cover up whilst feeding?

[BonkToTheFinish]

Not in your own home or whatever else that is within comfort zone for you.

I’m talking restraunts, places to eat etc etc

I don’t really understand it. A good friend of mine liked a picture that I came across today titled “Not even trying to cover up in public anymore, most natural thing ever 👌❤️”

Picture is of said woman in a bit swankier than average place to eat, boob completely out without thought and baby isn’t covering it at all really.

You do NOT NOT NOT have to cover a baby’s head to be discrete. You don’t even have to wear specialist clothing, it’s very easy to be discrete without having to have the whole breast completely on show.

I wouldn’t just feed DS with a whole boob out, it isn’t necessary and although BF is natural, some people do feel uncomfortable about breasts and aren’t comfortable seeing one completely on show - It doesn’t mean they’d say anything and that’s because they’re polite.

Is it really necessary to have whole boob out like that? AIBU?

I can’t say I’ve seen many people doing it, SIL was feeding her newborn DS a few weeks back and I was shocked she was feeding. I couldn’t actually tell, and baby has a small latch issue.

I’ve only ever seen one other person in public being a bit too in your face about it. She had the whole thing out and wasn’t too bothered regarding her DC being on there etc. She had it out before he was even out of the pram from waking up. The breast was directing me in life, so it seemed, by its swinging

I have to disagree there. Women’s breasts are a distinguishable sexual feature, and play a part in arousal. They even become aroused during sexual activity for a lot of women and respond to touch in a few different ways because of this.

You could say the same thing about lips. On the face. Their purpose is to provide a flexible opening to the mouth for eating, drinking and speech. However, they're a secondary sexual feature on women (fuller and softer compared to men's), play a role in sexual arousal (kissing, amongst other things), become aroused during sexual activity (redder and fuller) and respond to touch in a few different ways.

Should we only be allowed to uncover our lips for their actual purpose if we're discreet about it, making sure we minimise the amount of visible lip while we eat, drink, or speak, because some people are uncomfortable with their sexual associations?

No.

Same goes for breasts.

Geek has a point. Face masks for all the ladies and men forever or no wait how about a full body and head one. That should go the trick nicely.

Do you know why I would never bf on a toilet? Because I like talking to the companions that I've chosen to hang out with and I'm buggered if I'm going to miss all the gossip cos I gotta bf!

Men also incorporate nipple stimulation into foreplay, why aren't their Nips considered sexual and naughty too then ?? Stop trying to justify this sexist bullshit.

Geek has a point. Face masks for all the ladies and men forever or no wait how about a full body and head one. That should go the trick nicely.

Burkas for everyone!!

Problem solved.

If children and youngsters grow up seeing breastfeeding day in day out, it normalises it, makes them more likely to do the same when they have their own DCs and removes this whole bullshit "makes some people uncomfortable" thing society does to try and force women into being ashamed of the most natural act in the whole entire world.

One of my close friends has a 6 month old. She breastfed him at dinner in a restaurant on Friday last week while out with a huge group of friends including my 12 and 6 year old sons. My 12 year old sat next to her chatting as her child fed, maintained a conversation, made eye contact and at no point felt uncomfortable (and he's a 12 year old with ASD so can be prone to quite damning observations at times) because it is simply normal to him.

I hate this attitude that women should cover their breasts during breastfeeding. It's outdated, misogynist and frankly, if folk are uncomfortable they could always cover themselves up instead.

Another one who fed in public toilets surrounded by the stench of other people's excrement for a good few weeks before i plucked up the courage to try and feed my baby in public because of other people's attitudes

Really upsets me looking back on it how distressed i would get at feeding times trying to find a hidden place to feed!

In reality the only comments i ever had were positive (and not even many of them because nobody noticed)

But i know the shitty attitudes do exist because of attitudes like the op

And as has been pointed at by a pp - if people are "flaunting it" on social media it says much more about our society than the mother that it would be seen as rebelling to feed your child with the tools that humans were given for that very purpose!

People should stop staring op. This sort of attitude is why women give up bf, or just stay chained in the home. It needs to be normalised by people seeing women bf, its an everyday thing, like eating and drinking, not hide it away, as some shameful act that it is not! Tbf the last thing on a mothers mind is the delicate sensibilities of people, she needs to get her baby fed and content asap.

I would rather see a bf mum, than the horrid moobs and beer guts on display in the summer, when men decide to strip off at any hint of sun. That offends me.

Am a over the neck line feeder because it’s easier.

You know what in years and years of public feeding people do not even register or notice and if they do they don’t care.

People don’t care.

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I've seen a few of these out and about over the summer, and a couple in the supermarket Yuk.

I have a two week old baby. I'm leaning to breast feed. I know not very discrete. I'd like to be but it takes practice I'm trying to get out and if I need to feed I try to tell myself that nobody cares, nobody's looking. But clearly they are. So maybe I should just stay at home.

No don't stay at home Potatoes, feed wherever you want and ignore the rest. I think I have heard from my friends who were bf, that you need a thick skin and a tiger type persona.

PotatoesPastaAndBread congratulations.

Try to join a breastfeeding support group or find someone else who is breastfeeding.
It's far easier to start to breastfeed in public if you have a breastfeeding buddy.
A breastfeeding group is a great place to start breastfeeding in front of strangers.

Congratulations on your baby Potatoes.
Please don't feel it necessary to only feed at home - with a tiny baby like yours, that would mean you'd never go out! Agree with the advice to join a group- I found mine very supportive and it definitely helped to normalise breastfeeding for me. (isn't it sad that that was necessary?) There's nothing like sitting with a group of women with their tits out to help you feel more confident. Good luck!

@PotatoesPastaAndBread please don't stay at home but also don't rush out. Do what's right for you. I had ridiculous let down and once squirted a man and I still did!

I am hoping to breastfeed, I'm aware that some babies have latch issues and if my ds does then I will be doing whatever is necessary to feed him out in public, regardless of where I am! As many ladies have said on here, sometimes it's not possible to cover up completely, occasionally there will be a flash of nipple or the baby will unlatch. Don't look! I will be teaching him when he's old enough that breastfeeding is normal and it's just a baby being fed, nothing to feel uncomfortable over. Men can walk around topless because they're too hot, why is that acceptable but feeding a baby isn't? Baby getting fed is priority, people getting their knickers in a twist isn't my problem. Maybe you should stay inside at all times op as you can't accept a normal part of human life. The breast is there purely to feed, people really need to stop oversexualising it.

Congrats potatoes and don't stay home. I can assure you that the vast vast majority of people won't even notice what you're doing - I promise! And of the ones that do - the vast majority of them either won't care or think 'good on her'
The narrow minded views of the OP and some of the others are very rare indeed. So rare that only very occasionally is a mn thread started about it

And on the topic of breasts being sexual - yes they are... But why are we as a species programmed to have sex?? To procreate of course. Have you never wondered why certain features are classed as sexy and others aren't? Because the primeval parts of us are looking for a mate to have healthy offspring with. People are probably subconsciously sexually attracted to breasts BECAUSE they are used to feed infants.
I hope that makes some kind of sense. I'm very tired.

Here is Scotland we have special laws to protect breastfeeding.

It is a criminal offence to prevent a woman from breastfeeding in public.

It’s still daunting speakout especially for first time mums I think.

My favourite place to feed out and about was ikea in Glasgow because they have comfy sofas in the canteen lol.

Absolutely mustang.

My local Ikea host a weekly breastfeeding support group in their cafe.

A brilliant idea for breastfeeding in public newbies.

Safety in numbers!!

We used to have MN meets in Glasgow Ikea. Fantastic staff who made sure we knew the coffee was bottomless and coffee seats. Very happy memories.

Huge congratulations on your baby potatoes. Don’t don’t don’t stay at home if you don’t want to. I think the local wetherspoons staff have become intimately aquanted with my boobs in he last few months but we have all survived.

Baby snuggles at home on the sofa are fantastic if it feels like a choice. Genuinely if people care then that is their issue and no one else’s